what we shouldn't be
Dan is a rising basketball star with everything going in his favor. A future at NYU, a spot on the Boston team, his life seemed pretty perfect. But behind his success is a truth he can never seem to escape.
Kenz has always been more than just family to Dan, as friends, cousins and also emotional supporters. Kenz is the only one who understands him in ways no one else knew or cared to know about. But with time, their bond shifted into something deeper, something they both knew wasn't right.
As Dan leaves for Boston to chase his basketball dreams, distance begins to affect the relationship they had. Kenz on the other hand, tries focusing on his relationship with Fiona and living a normal life, but he is unable to do that because he feels incomplete without Dan. The closer Dan gets to success, the more complicated their connection becomes.
What started as hidden feelings slowly turns into confusion, guilt and resentment. Both boys struggle between choosing love and living a normal life.
In a world filled with confrontations and pressure, Dan and Kenz are forced to accept the truth they have spent so long avoiding. Feelings are never easy to get rid of.
And sometimes choosing love may end up destroying everything around them.
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Chapter: A DIFFERENT KIND OF MORNINGCHAPTER FORTY EIGHTTORIA’S POVThe first thing I heard when I woke up the next morning was voices arguing downstairs.It wasn’t even fully light out yet, but someone was already going at it.I stayed in bed for a minute, just listening because it sounded way too familiar.“I don’t need any help with this,” Dan said, sounding frustrated.“You can barely stand up straight right now,” Mrs. Alexis shot back.“I can stand just fine.”There was a long pause, like they were both waiting for the other to give in.Then I heard a quiet,“Ow.”I couldn’t help smiling to myself before I even pushed my bedroom door open.This was going to be one of those days.I muttered under my breath.“I already know exactly how today’s going to play out.”I headed downstairs, and sure enough, there they were in the living room.Dan had one hand gripping the back of the couch like his life depended on it.His good foot was planted firmly on the floor, while the other was trapped inside that big, clunky black m
Dernière mise à jour: 2026-07-20
Chapter: THE WEIGHT OF THREE WEEKSCHAPTER FORTY SEVEN KENZ’S POVThe game continued.I couldn’t tell you who won.I couldn’t even tell you what the score was anymore.Every few minutes, my eyes drifted toward the tunnel the trainers had disappeared through.Dan never came back.The crowd slowly found its energy again.People cheered.The band played.The referee blew his whistle over and over.But it didn’t stop me from getting lost in my thoughts. .“Kenz?”Fiona nudged my shoulder.“Hm?”“The game’s over.”I blinked.“Oh.”She studied my face for a second.“You wanna go?”I nodded almost immediately.“Yeah.”Neither of us spoke much as we made our way through the crowd.Students poured toward the exits, arguing about the refs cheating and bad fouls.Usually Dan would’ve texted by now.I whooped their asses.Or…Coach almost killed Jason today.Something stupid.Something that would’ve made me laugh.My phone stayed silent.“It’s probably nothing serious,” Fiona said softly.I looked at her.“I know.”But the wo
Dernière mise à jour: 2026-07-19
Chapter: THE MOMENT BEFORE EVERYTHING STOPPEDCHAPTER FORTY SIXDAN’S POVGame days always felt the same.The locker room buzzed with nervous energy.Some of the guys blasted music through a speaker.Others taped their wrists in complete silence.Someone kept throwing a basketball against the wall even though Coach had already yelled at him twice to stop.I sat on the bench tying my sneakers.One knot.Then another.My daily routine.Everything before a game was a routine.It helped keep my head clear.Or…At least it used to.“Ladies.”Every head turned.Coach walked into the locker room with his clipboard tucked beneath one arm.“If any of you plan on embarrassing me tonight, tell me now so I can fake a heart attack before tip off.”A few guys laughed.“I’ll save you the trouble, Coach,” Jason said.“I’m definitely embarrassing you.”Coach pointed at him.“I believe that.”The room filled with laughter.Even I smiled.“Listen up.”The laughter slowly died down.“This isn’t just another game.”Coach looked around the room.“Scou
Dernière mise à jour: 2026-07-18
Chapter: A MOMENT TOO LONGCHAPTER FORTY FIVETORIA’S POVI had been standing there staring at the same canvas for what felt like forever.My instructor walked over and said something that snapped me out of it.“You’ve been staring at the same canvas for ten minutes.”I blinked a couple of times and looked up from the paint smeared across the canvas. Honestly, I hadn’t even noticed how long I’d been holding the brush without doing anything useful.“What?”She smiled and crossed her arms.“You heard me. Where did you disappear to in that head of yours?”I glanced back at my painting.It looked almost exactly the same as it had twenty minutes ago.I’d barely touched it.“I was thinking about stuff.”“I can tell.”She tapped the side of my easel.“Unfortunately, thinking doesn’t count as actual painting.”A few people around us laughed.Heat crept up my cheeks, and I laughed too, trying to play it off.“I am working on it, I swear.”“You’ve got another forty-five minutes before we wrap up for the day,” she said, h
Dernière mise à jour: 2026-07-17
Chapter: ONE TOO MANYCHAPTER FORTY FOURETHAN'S POVCollege parties were not really my kind of thing. They got too loud with all the music blasting and too crowded with people packed into every room. Plus there were always too many people acting like they were not already drunk after a couple cups of that cheap stuff they served. Unfortunately one of my coursemates did not agree with me on any of that."You better not disappear after class today," Marcus called out as we walked out of the lecture hall. "We are celebrating surviving that mechanics test.""I do not remember agreeing to anything," I said back."You do not have to agree. We already decided you are coming." He threw an arm around my shoulder and grinned.I sighed. "I hate all of you.""We know," he answered like it was no big deal.By the time I got back to the dorm I had almost talked myself out of going. Almost. Kenz was sitting at his desk with his headphones on scribbling stuff into a notebook. He did not even look up when I walked in. I d
Dernière mise à jour: 2026-07-15
Chapter: CRACKS YOU CANT SEECHAPTER FORTY THREEKENZ’S POVI hadn’t planned on coming over.At least…That’s what I kept telling myself.Truth was, I’d been thinking about home all day.About the living room.About Mrs. Alexis asking if I’d eaten before I even took my shoes off.About Dan yelling at me for stealing another one of his hoodies.Funny.I still called it home even though I barely stayed there anymore.My classes ended earlier than usual, and before I knew it, I was already on a bus heading there with a bag of takeout resting on my thighs.Maybe things didn’t have to stay awkward forever.Maybe Dan and I could slowly find our way back to each other.Maybe.Maybe I was getting my hopes up.The familiar house came into view.Nothing had changed.The flowers by the porch were still there.Dan’s car still sat near the garage.Everything looked exactly the same.So why did it suddenly feel like I was visiting instead of coming home?I grabbed the bag of food and rang the doorbell.A few seconds later, the
Dernière mise à jour: 2026-07-14
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