ALMOST HATE, ALMOST LOVE

I fall down at least three times every week on my company's stairs.

It’s not intentional. Maybe, I just have a staircase-attraction charm. Whatever that is.

"Do you need help, Clumsy Gracie?"

"Fuck off Nick!"

I hate Nickolas, I really hate him.

We've been working together for seven years now but we've never had a real conversation. That’s just how much we hate each other and always ready to take advantage of each other in negative situations like this.

Everyone calls me Gracie, it was originally “Grace,” but I like the “cie” part. It sounds more baddie-like. Nick calls me “Clumsy Gracie,” I don’t know if he spells it as “Clumsy” or “Clumsie.” Oh wait, he calls me Clums too. What a total jerk!

We argue a lot, way too much for normal human beings and I always get pissed first. Honestly, most times he wins the argument and I hate him more for it. But at least, I get the most love at work and he gets the opposite due to his offensive, aggressive, oppressive and any other negative 'sives' nature.

You fall from the stairs in a week, more than you've ever fallen in love" he teased me.

"Piss off, Nick"

"Okay, Clumsy Gracie".

“Leave her alone, Nickolas.” It was our boss talking.

“”Good morning sir,” we say in unison.

'How are you both doing? You look great Fancy Nancy'.

“Thank you sir, " I say blushing. I catch Nick giving me an irritated look.

“Sadist,” i mutter under my breath and walk away.

I don't have anything fun going on in my life. I work 10 hours daily, from Monday to Friday, then I visit the library most Saturdays or I go grocery shopping. On Sundays, I watch my favourite show ‘’Ketching up with Italian couples” and that pretty much sums up my life as a 21 years old graduate working in an interior decor company.

My friends and colleagues ask me a lot why I'm not in a relationship, not like they don't know why, that's their little way of saying ‘’you fucked up, deal with it'.

About a year ago and even before then, I wrote a letter to my crush, a coworker and the sorry excuse of a man, posted it on the office platform like it was some work timetable. I had a rough month, a very embarrassing month. Everyone made fun of me, including my ex-crush, Sam. Now that I think of it, his face wasn’t even worth the trouble.

Well, my life hasn't been the same since then. I must admit, there's at least one person in the world I hate more than I hate Nick. Shout out to him, what an honour!

I took a break from work and social media, as the post kept circulating. I only came back to work a month later and for a month, I couldn't open my work email or any of their groups. They kept using it as reference in sarcastic ways and it was the most embarrassing thing I've ever had to deal with. People made jokes about it in the elevator, some printed it and left notes to mock me in my drawer. And Nick? He didn't care. "At least you spelt everything in your message to him correctly," was all he said, like that was a consolation. Well, it was, to an extent.

The worst part is, life didn't even reward me with some movie-style redemption or some great comeback. I just came back to the same desk, same coffee machine, same annoying Ric sitting across from me with a mischievous smile.

"Bet you missed me, Clums? That was his welcome back message to me after I resumed work.

I've considered stabbing him with a pen once, or twice.

Fine, I’ve actually had that thought fifty-four times. Fifty-five if we count this moment too.

Today's stair-fall will probably be the latest addition to my portfolio on workplace embarrassments. I hope the cameras caught it in slow motion, it would look less embarrassing.

What really annoys me isn't Nick’s sarcastic and offensive comments but how he always seems to be around when terrible things happen to me. I always wonder if he makes sure he's always around to catch me at my worst or it's a mere, unfortunate, coincidence.

And right now, as if the universe enjoys watching me suffer, as if I'm some sort of entertainment to them, our boss just assigned Nick and i to work together on a project. Three months of Planning, Organising and scheduling client meetings and design presentations with him. Sick!

Nick looked at me when the boss made the announcement, he had that mischievous smile, as if he was trying to say, "You're stuck with me, Clumsy Gracie”. And I'm really thinking, if I fall down this stairs one more time again, it might not be gravity but Nick.

And Nick? We were childhood sweethearts once until life happened and we had to part ways. He was my best friend. Until he came to work at Evara Press, our company. I remember running down to see him.

“Nickolas,” I had called, heart pounding as I ran down the stairs. My heel caught the edge and I fell down.

And guess what?

He didn’t offer a hand, just muttered something,

“Little Miss Disaster” and walked away.

And that right there? That’s the problem.

Well, I tried talking to him at lunch. I decided to laugh it off and just say hi. But the second he saw me, he walked away. That was the day I decided I was going to spend the rest of my life hating Nick.

After that day, I became really cruel to him. At first, it was just an act, I honestly thought he would notice and come say sorry. But Nick? He’s like the posturing peacock which panders itself to the gallery.

Oh well, this is where our not-so-little history could be traced to. It should’ve been way back in our childhood days. But not anymore. It’s not an act anymore, I hate Nickolas and I mean this in the most disrespectful and cruel way, ever!

Well,that's the thing about my little life. Ordinary until it isn't. One minute I'm playing candy crush and balancing it with a cup of coffee, next minute there's a pile of documents for me to deal with and the craziest of all is, Nick’s ever ready snide remarks and my ever ready, unapologetical comebacks.