All the Love That Never Landed

It was almost dawn when Mom finally sent a single message.

[Stop calling. Blythe gets upset just seeing your number come up.]

After that, I made four little dolls in their likenesses. They kept me company at meals and at bedtime. They listened when I talked about every small improvement, and they listened when I needed to say the sad things I had no one else to tell.

Yet as the tears fell now, I did not reach for them. After walking alone in the dark for so long, I had finally found the courage to stop looking back.

I stood there and looked around the apartment properly for the first time in the year I had lived there. The paint was peeling in patches, exposing the pale gray concrete underneath.

The curtains had been washed so many times that they had gone stiff, and the edges still carried mildew stains that would not come out. The old air conditioner overhead rattled and hummed, but the only thing it blew out was warm air.

During the hottest months of exam prep, I sat at the desk and worked through practice tests every day. By the time I finished a single paper, I would have sweated enough to need two showers.

However, the Sheridan family was not poor.

My parents, Gary, and Blythe all lived in a sprawling apartment in the city center that was well over 3,000 square feet. Blythe had her own study and her own music room. Even her collectibles and merchandise had a room of their own.

When they sent me away, Mom had only frowned and said, "It's just a year at most. There's no need to rent anything too nice. Once your exams are over, we'll bring you home."

Yet more than two weeks had passed between the last exam and today's results, and not a single one of them had mentioned bringing me home.

I lowered my eyes and was about to put the four dolls away when a message from Mom came through.

[Darcy, come home later. We need to talk about your college applications.]

I stared at those words, feeling my heart stir despite myself. Maybe they still remembered me, after all.

I rushed downstairs without a second thought. Taking the bus would take too long, so for the first time, I let myself splurge and called a cab.

When I pushed the front door open, the living room was full of voices and laughter. My parents were there, and so were Gary and Callum Ward. Blythe sat in the middle of them all with four beautifully wrapped gifts laid out in front of her.

Mom stroked her hair, her voice impossibly gentle. "You did so well this time, sweetheart. Our Blythe scored high enough for schools in Kingsgate too."

Gary laughed. "She's coming to Lockwood, obviously. I'm the one who tutored her in math. Do you know how much time I put in this past year? If she doesn't end up at my school, that's just wrong."

Callum frowned. "No way. I'm the one who pulled her literature grade up. If she's going anywhere, it should be Stratton."

The two of them argued like they were fighting over the most precious thing in the world, and neither would give an inch.

I stood in the entryway like a thief who had wandered into the wrong house. It took a long time before Mom finally noticed me. The smile on her face faded a little. "Oh, Darcy. You're here."

The laughter in the living room stopped dead.

Blythe shot me a cold look, gathered the gifts into her arms, and turned back to her room.

The rest of them just looked at me, uncomfortable. Gary was the first to speak. "What are you standing there for? Come sit down."

I walked over in silence and sat down on the armchair at the far edge.

Dad cleared his throat. "Did your results come in?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"What did you get?"

I was about to answer when Mom cut in, "Let's not talk about scores right now. That's not what matters."

She avoided my eyes, looking a little guilty. "The reason I asked you to come home is to talk about where you're applying. Don't apply to any schools in Kingsgate. Blythe spent an entire year catching up just to get where she is now. If you end up in the same city, she'll probably have another breakdown."

My fingernails dug slowly into my palms. The pain crept up, dull and distant.

They knew perfectly well that the best universities in the country were in Kingsgate, but for the sake of sparing Blythe even the possibility of unhappiness, they wanted to throw away my future without a second thought.

I turned to Dad, still unwilling to give up. His face said it all.

"Just listen to your mother. Things have finally settled down at home. Don't stir everything up again."

I looked at Gary. He frowned, his tone matter-of-fact. "Crestfield has plenty of good schools. Just go there. It's closer to home."

Finally, I looked at Callum. He kept his eyes down, unable to look at me. It was a long time before he spoke, his voice low. "Darcy, you've always been smart. You'll do well no matter where you go. But Blythe is different. She needs people looking after her."