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Perhaps, He isn't so bad..

Author: A_Renae_W
last update publish date: 2026-07-27 04:36:21

The rest of the morning passed in a blur, though my thoughts refused to leave the library.

No matter how hard I tried to focus on polishing banisters or folding linens, my mind kept wandering back to Master Hawthorne. More specifically, to the expression on his face after he took the journal from my hands.

It hadn't just been anger.

If anything, anger would have been easier to understand.

Instead, I'd seen grief.

The kind that sits behind someone's eyes for so long that they begin to mistake it for part of themselves.

I sighed quietly as I tucked the last fresh towel into a guest room wardrobe.

"Catherine?" Agnes' voice drifted in from the hallway.

"I'm in here."

She leaned against the doorway, carrying a basket of vegetables under one arm. "Finished already?"

"I think so."

She glanced around the room before giving an approving nod. "You've got a good eye."

I smiled. "Thank you."

She studied me for another moment before her expression softened. "Something's bothering you."

I hesitated. "I met Master Hawthorne."

"I figured."

"...Is he always like that?"

Agnes let out a long breath. "Quiet?"

"I was going to say intimidating."

She chuckled. "That too."

I stepped into the hallway beside her. "He isn't what people in town said."

"No?"

"They made him sound cruel."

Agnes shook her head. "Cruel people enjoy hurting others."

She looked toward one of the tall windows overlooking the gardens.

"Master Kent mostly hurts himself."

I frowned. "What happened to him?"

Her expression changed immediately.

Not frightened. Just... careful.

"That isn't my story to tell."

I nodded, embarrassed I'd asked. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." She offered me a small smile.

"Just be patient."

Before I could ask what she meant, the familiar clicking of polished shoes echoed through the corridor.

Mr. Vance.

Agnes immediately straightened her apron.

"So," the steward said smoothly, "I trust the afternoon's work is progressing well."

"Yes, sir," I answered.

His dark eyes rested on me for a moment. "I also trust there have been no further... incidents involving private property."

Heat rushed into my cheeks. "No, sir."

"Excellent."

Without another word, he continued down the corridor.

Agnes waited until he disappeared around the corner. "I swear that man hears conversations through walls."

I couldn't help laughing. "I was thinking the same thing."

It was the first time I'd laughed since arriving at Hawthorne Estate. It felt... nice.

The afternoon was quieter than the morning.

Most of my duties involved preparing unused guest rooms.

Dusting furniture, changing linens, and opening windows to let in fresh spring air.

The work itself wasn't difficult, the silence was.

This mansion was enormous, beautiful even. But somehow... Lonely.

Every hallway echoed, every room felt too large, and even the sunlight seemed hesitant to linger.

As I straightened another bedspread, I found myself wondering where Master Hawthorne spent his afternoons.

Surely not locked inside that library all day.

Did he eat alone?

Did he ever leave the estate?

Did he have friends?

The questions arrived one after another before I caught myself.

"Stop it, Catherine," I muttered.

Curiosity had nearly gotten me dismissed once already. I wasn't eager to repeat the experience.

By evening, every servant had gathered in the kitchen for supper.

Compared to the rest of the manor, the kitchen felt wonderfully alive.

Thomas, one of the stable hands, was telling an overly dramatic story about chasing a stubborn horse across three fields while everyone laughed between bites of stew.

I found myself smiling more than speaking. It felt good simply listening.

Then the room suddenly became quiet. No one had said anything. No one needed to.

Footsteps that were soft, measured were passing the hallway outside.

Every servant lowered their voice instinctively. Some stood, others stared into their bowls.

The footsteps continued past the kitchen before fading into the distance.

I looked toward Agnes. "Was that..."

She nodded. "Master Kent."

"He didn't come in."

"He never does."

"Where does he eat?"

"In his study."

"Every night?"

She nodded again. "By himself."

Something about that answer settled heavily in my chest. I couldn't imagine choosing to eat every meal alone.

Not long after supper, Agnes stopped me before I returned to the servants' wing. "Catherine?"

"Yes?"

She handed me a polished silver tray carrying a teapot, a single cup, and a small plate of biscuits. "Would you mind taking this to the master's study?"

I blinked. "Me?"

"Arthur twisted his ankle carrying firewood." She smiled reassuringly. "It'll only take a minute."

I wasn't nearly as confident. Still... I nodded. "Of course."

The western hallway felt even quieter at night.

The firelight from the wall sconces danced across dark wooden panels, casting long shadows that stretched across the floor.

When I reached the study, I balanced the tray carefully in one hand before knocking. No answer.

I waited. Then knocked again.

"Enter." His voice was calm.

I pushed the heavy door open.

Master Hawthorne sat behind a massive oak desk covered with neatly arranged papers. A fire crackled softly in the hearth nearby.

Books surrounded nearly every wall. He didn't look up. "You may leave it there."

I carefully placed the tray on a small side table. I should have left immediately. Instead... My eyes wandered toward an easel standing near the fireplace.

A canvas rested upon it beneath a white cloth.

"You seem incapable of resisting temptation."

I nearly dropped the teapot. Master Hawthorne was looking directly at me now. His expression was unreadable.

"I wasn't touching anything."

"No." A faint hint of amusement crossed his face. "But you were wondering."

"I..."

He wasn't wrong.

"I apologize."

"You've apologized every time we've met."

I looked down at my hands. "I suppose I have."

"And yet," he said, setting his pen aside, "you continue doing things that require apologies."

To my surprise... I laughed. Just a little. "So I've noticed."

For the briefest moment... He smiled. It was barely there. A tiny movement at the corner of his mouth.

Gone almost as quickly as it appeared. But I had seen it. It changed him completely.

He looked younger, lighter, and more human. Realizing I had been staring, I quickly looked away. "I should let you return to your work, sir."

"You should."

I started toward the door before stopping. "I hope your tea doesn't get cold."

The room fell quiet.

When I looked back, he was still watching me. "...Thank you, Catherine."

Hearing him say my name caught me off guard. I smiled before slipping out into the hallway.

Only after the door closed behind me did I realize my heart was racing. Again.

As I walked back toward the servants' quarters, something lying on the windowsill caught my eye. A small leather sketchbook.

Someone must have forgotten it. I picked it up carefully. The initials embossed on the cover made my stomach tighten.

K.H

Master Hawthorne.

I looked back toward the study door. It was only a few steps away.

The sketchbook rested in my hands, surprisingly warm from the afternoon sun that had streamed through the window.

I could open it. Just one page. No one would know.

My fingers lingered on the edge of the cover. Then I sighed. "No," I whispered to myself.

I had already crossed enough boundaries for one day. Clutching the sketchbook gently against my apron, I turned back toward the study. If I wanted to understand Kent Hawthorne...

Perhaps the first step wasn't uncovering his secrets. Perhaps it was earning the right for him to share them willingly.

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  • Beneath His Isolation   Sleep for two

    I followed Kent down the hall. He had a pace that wasn't rushed, but I struggled to keep up.After some moments of silent walking, he opened the kitchen door, expecting me to follow him. "I'll go and brew the tea... And I should probably get those pastries Agnes prepared for you earlier. I know you refused them, but maybe now you'll have an appetite." I said, walking past the kitchen tables, my words shaking anxiously.Kent just nodded and sat down at the table closest to the door.I walked to the pantry, forcing its rusty hinges to open for me. The space itself was rather clean, but there were definitely signs of aging. Dust in places most maids can't reach, scuffs where boxes of spices were often moved, and a lingering smell of teas, peppers, oils, tallow, and other common cooking aids.I started looking for the tea Mrs. Agnes always made since its warmth and flavor seemed always to calm me.Scanning each shelf, I honestly got distracted by all of the stuff that was back here. Next

  • Beneath His Isolation   A nice smile

    After I left Master Hawthorne, I went into my servant's quarters for the night.His face was cemented into my mind almost...I couldn't shake the image, couldn't help but wonder how he would look with a real smile on his face.Why did he have to be alone?Why was he always so stiff and gloomy?Why did he never have trips with friends or invite friends over for dinner?Could someone really be okay with living in absolute silence?Despite my curiosity, as I lay on my bed restless, I couldn't risk my job by asking these questions. I just hope that he isn't in a bad place right now, that he chose this lifestyle.I decided to try and force myself to sleep with some tea, so I got up out of my bed to make my way to the kitchen. I wanted to move quietly, because this house had a 'forbidden' feel to it in the dark. I moved slowly towards my door and tried opening it in a way that wouldn't squeak.I slipped into the hallway and walked carefully in the direction of the kitchen. Passing the main

  • Beneath His Isolation   Newcomer on the doorstep

    -Inside of Kent's Journal-Letter 3,106.Hey Mom,I am writing to you again, just as any other day. Perhaps someday I will send you one of these writings.It seems as though I must write every day to clear my mind. It only lasts just a moment, I wish my mind could stop troubling me so muchI plan on staying in the study today, and I know I do every day. But plans can always change, knowing how unpredictable life can be at times.I can not help but follow this routine of constant work. I wish my brother taught me how he had so much free time. He just took time to relax and do the things he loved. I honestly do not even know what I love anymore...He would also find a way to take me hunting, boating, and on our little trips. He spent a lot of time talking to staff too. The halls miss his laughter just as much as I do. This house feels empty, just as my heart does... I forgot the last time I smiled. I suppose everyone suffers around me, because no one dares to show any joy or interest a

  • Beneath His Isolation   Patterned living

    -Inside of Kent's Journal-Letter 3,103.Hey Mom,It has been many years since I have seen you. I hope you can hear about my achievements. I've been working so hard to make an impression on all the townsfolk, both rich and poor.I heard that Dad finally allowed you to have a proper burial for brother, despite his origins. I hope one day you will come back home, maybe even introduce me to Dad. I know you do not truly love him, and that is why you left me behind. I have his blood running through my veins, something I can not change...I made 24 today, and I guess this is why I am writing to you in a journal you will never see. I should be grateful, I mean, you gave me the main estate and the family's business, even after what I had done.I'm...I'm sorry for what I have done, for what I am. I truly loved the two of you, I wish my brother were still here. Maybe we could have been sitting on the bench together and eating your favorite cherry pie..Or, drawing each other in poses at the

  • Beneath His Isolation   The forgotten portrait, a crack forming in his mask

    The midday sun beat down on the cobblestone courtyard, casting harsh shadows across the kitchen entrance where I stood, shaking out a damp linen tablecloth. My mind was still tangled in the thorny wildness of the hidden rose garden and the quiet intensity of Kent’s voice. 'Wild things usually are.' The phrase echoed in my head like a melody I couldn't quite shake."You're going to tear a hole in that if you snap it any harder, Catherine," Agnes said, leaning against the doorframe with a basket of fresh rosemary tucked against her hip.I paused mid-motion, the damp fabric hanging limply between my hands. "Sorry. I was just... thinking."Agnes stepped onto the porch, her sharp eyes studying my face with maternal concern. "You've been doing a lot of thinking since you got back from the east terrace. Vance was down here five minutes ago asking if your morning duties were complete." She lowered her voice, taking a step closer. "He didn't look pleased, Catherine. He doesn't like it when t

  • Beneath His Isolation   First time setting foot in his mother's garden

    I made it as far as the study door before I lost my nerve.The light beneath it had already gone dark, and when I pressed my ear to the wood, I heard nothing but the settling creak of an old house. Whether Master Hawthorne had retired for the night or simply extinguished his lamp to discourage visitors, I couldn't say. Either way, knocking felt like inviting exactly the kind of scrutiny I had promised myself to avoid.So I carried the sketchbook back to my room instead. I set it on the nightstand, propped against the stub of a burning candle, and told myself I would return it first thing in the morning, before anyone noticed it was missing. Twice in the night I woke to find my hand resting on the worn leather cover, and twice I pulled it back as though the thing had scalded me. By the time grey morning light crept through my window, I had convinced myself that returning it unopened was its own kind of victory.That resolve lasted exactly as long as it took me to reach the study and f

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