3: Goodbye, forever

…

“Are you sure about this, Xiu Xiu?" my best friend Xiao Yu asked, worry written all over her face.

She was a doctor, just like most of the people I went to school with.

But I was not as lucky as they were. I had dropped out in my third year because I had no one to support me financially.

Since then, I had been doing odd jobs just to survive.

"Yeah. I just want to disappear for a while. I am so tired of everything," I said, lowering my eyes.

Xiao Yu seemed to think of something. Her lips moved slightly, but she said nothing.

"What is it?" I asked, forcing a small smile. "You do not have to worry about me. I will be fine."

"But what about Qing Han? You have loved him for so long. You..."

I sighed deeply. "Things have changed, Yu. He is an animal. I do not want anything to do with him anymore," I said firmly.

I had promised myself that I would be fine. With time, all the feelings I had for him would fade away.

"But if he finds out that you got rid of the baby, he will be furious..."

"I do not care how he feels. He has hurt me a hundred times more than this," I said, placing my hand on my belly and rubbing it gently.

We sat in silence for a while before Yu sighed. "I have never said this before, but I hate that man. He acts like he owns the world and no one else matters."

I chuckled softly. I had always known she disliked Qing Han, especially because of how he treated me.

"Forget about him. He is not worth our time anymore," I said quietly.

"Sure. I hope he rots in hell," Yu said, then turned to me. "Are you sure you will be okay? I could still come with you..."

"No," I said quickly, shaking my head. "You should stay and take care of your mother."

"My mom will be fine," Yu tried to argue.

But I would not separate her from her family. She still had people who cared about her.

"Yu, I know you are worried about me, but I will be fine. The only reason I am leaving is because no one will miss me. Things are different for you."

"But I will miss you," she said, her voice trembling.

I pulled her into a hug. "I know. You are the only one who cares about me. As soon as I settle, I will contact you."

"Promise?" Yu asked.

I scoffed. "Since when have I ever lied to you? I will contact you, as long as you promise not to tell Han where I am."

Yu scoffed back. "You think I would even talk to him? If he ever comes near me, God help me," she said.

I knew she meant it. I patted her shoulder. "Do not do anything reckless after I leave."

Yu rolled her eyes. "I am sorry, Xiu Xiu. I cannot promise that."

I laughed softly. The truth was, I had survived this long because she always stood up for me.

"Is the document ready?" I asked, glancing at her computer screen.

"Yes," she said. "I just hope no one finds out, or I will end up in prison."

"They will not have proof. And besides, the Qings care too much about their image. They would never make it public," I whispered, standing up. "I have to finish packing."

Yu stood with a pout. "So I will not see you again?"

I sighed. "You will. I promise."

"Take care, Xiu. Make sure that man never finds you," she said emotionally.

My eyes filled with tears. I was going to miss her.

When I returned to Qing Han’s mansion, he was not home yet. Not that I expected him to be.

In fact, of all days, I hoped he would not come back.

My plane was leaving at eight. Soon, I would be free from his disgust and cruelty.

I had already transferred all the money Aunt Wu gave me to an offshore account so no one could trace it.

I had also secured a place at a medical school abroad. Once I left, I would start my studies again.

Still, my heart felt heavy. I knew I had to be careful.

If Qing Han caught me before I left, it would probably be the end of my life.

But if I succeeded, I would finally be free from everyone who had made my life miserable. I would have peace, even if it was in a foreign country.

After packing everything I needed, I stood by the window and looked out at the calm ocean.

Qing Han’s house was by the sea. Aunt Wu once said he liked the quiet and the cool breeze there.

If he had not been so cold to me, I might have loved living there too.

But I was saying goodbye to this place forever. Even if I didn't ever come back, I would have found my peace.

Before I left, I wrote a letter. Someone needed to read it.

'To Qing Han,

I hope this is the last time I'm talking to you. But I finally got done sense into my head.

Sorry for being so much in your way. I loved you, but now I realize this will never work.

I will not let you or anyone else control my life anymore. I just want to be free.

I was forced to end my pregnancy before it was too late. My child won't be raised to be a pawn. It's better if I don't bring him in this world to suffer. I have left the medical report with this letter.

We have nothing binding us together anymore. I hope you enjoy your life.

Remember to sign the divorce papers. I have already signed my part.

Tell Aunt Wu that I am sorry for letting her down.

Goodbye forever.

Chen Xiu.'