LOGIN***~~~RIVER~~~***Practice hasn’t been the same level of intense ever since Ricky and I started getting along.Which is a good thing. I think.Daniel though, I need to talk to dad about him. Get him to change his mind and set him free. He’s been in detention since Friday and as much as what he did to me was wrong, I don’t want that sitting on my conscience longer than it has to. Part of it was my fault anyway. I had provoked him. I just hope dad listens. He isn’t the easiest man to reason with.The good news is that I’m getting better. The sickness has finally cleared and my bruises are healing faster than I expected. Another week, maybe less, and these plasters should be off my face completely.Tutorial with Chan today was something else.I can’t even explain it properly. It just — it was good. She makes it easy to want to learn, which is not something I’ve ever said about studying before. And when she pulled out those cookies at the end… I almost laughed.She looked so nervous han
Sleep doesn’t come.I’ve tossed and turned and it just won’t. I heave a sigh and sit up, my head turning to the clock on my nightstand.9:32 pm.I leave my bed, slip on my shoes, and quietly pull my bedroom door shut behind me. The living room is dark and empty. I pad softly to my parents’ door and ease it open just enough to check — they’re both fast asleep. I pull it closed again and stand there in the hallway.My restlessness won’t stop.Sasha taking my role as Gwen. Mrs. Cetera gone. Cortney can protect me from the bullying — I believe that — but I don’t think even she can stop Sasha from going after what is mine. What’s next? What else is she willing to take from me? Because right now I feel like I have nothing left for her to reach for. I’ve been kicked out of the play without doing a single thing wrong. And there goes my college portfolio. There goes the full reassurance I needed for Yale.I can’t let this go.But I also can’t go to Sasha about it. That is exactly what she want
My advice is always ruin the friendship better than regret it for all time.Taylor Swift said that in her song like it’s the easiest thing in the world.It’s not.I can’t do that.I won’t.I’m tempted to. God, I’m tempted to throw every professional boundary we agreed on straight out the window and just not care about the consequences for once. But I can’t. I know I can’t.He is not making it easy though.River sits across from me, completely unbothered, completely unaware of the internal war happening on my side of this table. His eyes are low and focused on the test paper I gave him earlier. One hand props up his jaw. The other moves his pen slowly across the page. I bite my bottom lip. My eyes travel against my better judgment from his rolled up sleeves, to his half-unbuttoned shirt, to his gorgeous hair falling just slightly out of place.Stop loo
After our emotional talk, Cortney decided we needed air.There was no ice cream left in the fridge, so we walked to the supermarket that is just a few minutes from the Dawson mansion, picked up a cup each, and grabbed a few more to store for later.I feel a quiet sadness knowing I didn’t get to see River. Didn’t even get a minute to slip away and check on him. But I wouldn’t bring it up. I couldn’t. Not without Cortney’s eyes narrowing in that way they do when she’s piecing something together.So I keep it where it belongs — tucked away, in my secretive mind.Cortney inhales the evening air as we step out of the supermarket, her cup of ice cream in one hand, her face tipped slightly upward. “I missed this,” she says. Then she turns to me. “And I cannot wait for midterm break.”“That’s still a few weeks away, Cort. Tests are next week. Exams are two weeks after that. Before we know it—”She links her hand through mine and throws her free arm into the air. “Midterm break!” she squeaks.
Maybe my mind made a very rash decision when I decided to speak out and object Sasha’s offer in front of everyone.Our little pretend friendship has been peaceful and good so far. But Sasha will always be Sasha — controlling, arrogant, beaming with pride. And if I hadn’t done it today, the day would have definitely ended with me joining her squad. Becoming part of her minions. Losing whatever little ground I’ve managed to stand on.I shake my head at the thought as Cleo drives us home. Imagine having to dye my hair blonde or red and doing Sasha’s bidding. Imagine that being my life.A quiet sigh pulls me out of my thoughts. I turn my head.Cleo’s eyes are still on the road. “I wish we could have stayed.” Her voice is soft. Not accusatory, just honest. “I wanted to see what games would come next. It would have been so much fun to be on Sasha’s Instagram.” She glances at me briefly before her eyes return to the road. “But I’m very proud of you for standing up to her. That takes real bal
The door to Sasha’s closet is already open from the girls before me, and I step inside and stop.It’s enormous.Racks and racks of pink — every shade imaginable. Blush. Fuchsia. Dusty rose. Hot pink. Barely-there pink that almost looks white. The shoes are arranged on shelves along the far wall, lined up like a display. Bags hang from hooks. Jewelry sits under a glass case near the vanity mirror. I think she just set this up because of girls time. I stand in the middle of it and feel completely lost.My eyes move across the racks. I pull out a structured blazer, but it’s too similar to Pristina’s. I push it back. I find a ruffled midi skirt, but it has too much volume. I find a sequined mini dress and immediately put it backI pull out a slip dress and pause.What would Cortney pick?The thought lands quietly and stays there. I look around the closet again, but this time with different eyes. Cortney doesn’t chase trends like Sasha. She doesn’t pile things on. She finds the thing tha
***~~~River~~~***The sound of beeping is all I hear. It starts to get louder and louder — like a bomb has been set to blow off.A bomb!I gasp awake. At first, everything is blurry, but I'm quick to feel the pain shooting through my body. A low groan leaves my lips, and now I can see my surround
The bell finally rings, and the noise begins again. Everyone involved in the play runs down to the auditorium.The class we just finished was pottery — an elective, so River didn't show up. He's not taking it.Cortney and I find our way to the auditorium and take our seats. The hall is still very n
Side by side, Cortney and I walk to class. We've been talking about River since she picked me up this morning and drove me to school."Riley also didn't get back to me about the matter." She sighs. "I guess that means River didn't budge."Or maybe something else is going on between them? Not that I
***~~~CHANCÉ~~~***One thing I know: I'm going to be in so much trouble when people find out I made the list.Actually, it's not entirely my fault. Mr. Fetch made me do a Zoom call with him the moment I entered my house after my little meeting with Ricky.Mr. Fetch sent me the list for Class A an







