LOGINChapter One Hundred Twenty EightJay's hand was still shaking when they sat down on the couch.The ring was on Cole's finger. Silver. Simple. Perfect. He kept looking at it. He kept touching it. Like he couldn't believe it was real. The metal was cool against his skin. He kept turning it around and around. Watching the light catch the surface."I can't believe you had that this whole time," Cole said."I've been carrying it around for months.""Where?""In my jacket pocket. Everywhere I went. To the studio. To the coffee shop. To the rink. It was always there."Cole laughed. His head fell back against the couch. "What if I had said no?""I didn't think about that.""You didn't think about me saying no?"Jay grinned. He leaned closer. "I knew you wouldn't.""You're so sure of yourself.""I'm not sure of myself. I'm sure of you."Cole reached over. His hand cupped Jay's face. His thumb traced Jay's jawline. "I love you.""I love you too."They sat like that for a long time. Just looking
Chapter One Hundred Twenty SevenThe morning after the exhibition, Jay woke up to sunlight on his face and an empty bed.He sat up. Rubbed his eyes. The apartment was quiet. Too quiet. He could hear the birds outside. He could hear the city waking up. But he couldn't hear Cole.He got out of bed. Walked to the kitchen. Cole was standing by the window. Coffee cup in his hand. Looking out at the street."You're up early," Jay said.Cole turned around. His gray eyes were soft. "Couldn't sleep.""Thinking about last night?""Thinking about everything."Jay walked to him. "Everything is good.""It is.""Then why can't you sleep?"Cole shrugged. "I don't know. I think I'm still processing.""Same thing.""It's not.""It is."Jay took the coffee cup from his hands. He set it down on the counter. Then he put his arms around Cole."I love you," Jay said."I love you too."The phone rang at 9am. Simone."Jay," she said. "How are you?""Good. Tired. Cole is here.""He should be. Last night was b
Chapter One Hundred Twenty SixThe day before the exhibition, Jay couldn't breathe.He woke up at 4am. His heart was racing. His palms were sweaty. He lay in bed staring at the ceiling, trying to slow his breathing. It didn't work. His chest felt tight. His stomach was in knots.Cole stirred next to him."Jay?" Cole mumbled."I'm awake.""What time is it?""Early."Cole reached for him. "Come here."Jay moved closer. Cole wrapped his arms around him. His grip was warm. Steady. Jay buried his face in Cole's chest."I can't do this," Jay said."Yes, you can.""I can't."Cole pulled back and looked at him. "Listen to me. You've been working for this your whole life. You're ready. You've always been ready.""What if they hate it?""They won't.""You don't know that.""I know you." Cole kissed his forehead. "I know your work. It's impossible to hate."Jay closed his eyes. "I love you.""I love you too."They arrived at the gallery at 9am.The space was huge. White walls. Track lighting. Ta
Chapter One Hundred Twenty FiveThe weeks flew by.Jay painted every day. Morning to night. His hands were stained with paint. His clothes were covered in splatters. He barely ate. He barely slept. He barely spoke. Cole watched him from a distance. He brought food. He left it on the table. He didn't interrupt."You're going to burn out," Cole said one night.Jay didn't look up from his canvas. "I'm fine.""You're not fine.""I'm fine."Cole walked over and stood behind him. "Jay. Look at me."Jay stopped painting. He turned around. His eyes were tired. Red. He looked like he hadn't slept in days."Come home," Cole said."I can't.""Yes, you can.""I need to finish this."Cole took the brush from Jay's hands. "You need to rest.""I need to finish this.""You can finish it tomorrow."Jay opened his mouth to argue. Then he closed it. He was too tired to argue. "Fine."He let Cole lead him out of the studio. They walked home in silence. The streets were quiet. The stars were out. Jay didn
Chapter One Hundred Twenty FourJay didn't sleep that night.He lay in bed staring at the ceiling. His mind was racing. The painting. The exhibition. November. Two months. He couldn't stop thinking about it. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the canvas. The dark colors. The man on his knees. The small light in the background. He had to do more. He had to create something new. Something that mattered.Cole shifted next to him. His arm tightened around Jay's waist."You're awake," Cole mumbled."I'm awake.""You're thinking.""I'm always thinking.""Too loud."Jay smiled in the dark. "Go back to sleep.""Can't. Too awake now."Cole pulled him closer. "What are you thinking about?""The exhibition. The painting. Everything.""It's going to be fine.""You don't know that.""I know you."Jay turned to face him. "What if I fail?""Then you fail. And you try again.""That's not comforting.""It's not supposed to be comforting. It's supposed to be true."Jay was quiet for a moment. "I lov
Chapter One Hundred Twenty ThreeThe call came at 6am.Jay was still half asleep when his phone buzzed on the nightstand. He reached for it blindly, knocking over a glass of water. The cold liquid soaked the sheets. He cursed under his breath. Cole stirred next to him."Who is it?" Cole mumbled."I don't know."Jay squinted at the screen. Unknown number. He almost ignored it. Something made him answer."Hello?""Jay. It's Simone."He sat up straight. "Simone?""I know it's early. I'm sorry.""What's wrong?""Nothing's wrong. I have news."Jay rubbed his eyes. "What kind of news?""The kind you've been waiting for. The Hamburger Bahnhof called. They want to move up your exhibition."Jay blinked. "Move it up?""To November. Two months from now."He looked at Cole. Cole was awake now, watching him with tired eyes. Jay put the phone on speaker."November?" Jay repeated."November. The curator said your work is in high demand. She wants to feature it in a special showcase. It's a big deal,
Chapter Ten :Maya pov I didn't leave my apartment for six days.Not for food. Not for air. Not for anything.The blinds stayed closed. The dishes piled up in the sink. My phone died on the second day and I didn't bother to charge it. What was the point? Who was going to call me? Cole? Jay? The two
Chapter Nine :Jay povI couldn't sleep.Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Maya's face. The way she looked at me when she said "I don't hate you. But I can't look at you right now." The way her voice cracked. The way her hands shook.I'd been lying in bed for three hours. Staring at the ceiling. Li
Chapter Twelve : Maya povI stared at my phone for twenty minutes before I typed the message.My thumb hovered over the keyboard. My heart was pounding. My hands were shaking. I hadn't spoken to Jay in weeks. Not really. A few texts. Short ones. Careful ones. Nothing that meant anything.But I coul
Chapter Eleven : Cole pov I woke up at 4am and couldn't fall back asleep.The guest house was dark. Quiet. Too quiet. I could hear the wind outside. A car driving past somewhere in the distance. My own heartbeat. Thump. Thump. Thump. Like it was reminding me I was still alive. Still here. Still br







