LOGINHe saved my life. Then he fell in love with me. Dr. Aiden Black was my surgeon at Cedars-Sinai in L.A. Strict. Brilliant. Kind. I thought I’d never see him again after I was discharged. But he showed up at my follow-up. And the next one. And with coffee on my birthday. He went from checking my pulse... to holding my hand. From "Patient" on his chart... to "My Wife" in his heart. This is how I met my husband.
View MoreMonday, 9:58 a.m.I am standing in the parking lot of the Silverlake Clinic, holding a small paper cup of coffee, looking at the building, doing the small kind of math that a person does when they are about to walk into a place that is, technically, not a place they should be walking into.PT with Carlos. 10:00 a.m. Monday. My new official physical therapist. The man whose name is on the form that says patient transferred from Cedars-Sinai, A. Black, MD, recused. The man who does not know that I kissed my old surgeon on Friday night in the hallway of my Koreatown apartment. The man who is going to be entirely professional and entirely kind and entirely the kind of man Aiden Black is not in public, which is to say, normal about me.I go inside.The fountain is doing its fountain thing. The front desk woman, whose name I do not remember, smiles at me. Carlos is already in the PT room. He is a man in his late thirties, with a kind face, with strong hands, with the kind of calm that makes
I woke up on the couch.This is a fact I am going to lead with because I am a grown woman who fell asleep in a little black dress on a Friday night and did not go to bed. I did not change. I did not wash my face. I did not take off my heels, which I will regret on Sunday morning when my feet are angry at me, but right now, Saturday, eleven a.m., I am a person who is waking up on a couch with mascara on my cheeks and a small crinkly pillow imprint on the left side of my face.The dress is the dress from last night. The little black dress. It is slightly hiked up at the hem. The small silver necklace Sophie lent me is still on. The heels are still on. I am a person who fell asleep like this, because I walked in the door, and I sat down on the couch, and I put my head back, and I thought I just kissed Aiden Black in the hallway, and the next thing I knew it was Saturday.The apartment is quiet. Koreatown quiet. The cello neighbour is silent. The fridge is doing its fridge hum. The candle
Friday, 6:47 p.m.I have been getting ready for forty-seven minutes, which is approximately forty-five minutes longer than it takes me to get ready for a normal human activity, and approximately forty-four minutes longer than it takes me to admit that I am not, in fact, a normal human being right now.The little black dress. The one that has been in the back of my closet for eight months, ever since I bought it on a hopeful Tuesday in February for a man I was dating who turned out to be a man I was dating in the wrong way. The dress has been waiting. The dress has been patient. The dress has been folded in a square that was slightly less wrinkled than the rest of the closet, like a piece of clothing that has been saving itself for a moment.This is the moment.I am wearing it. I am standing in front of my bathroom mirror in Koreatown, in a little black dress, and I am panicking. It's not the kind of panic that involves tears. The kind of panic that involves a person looking at her own
Ten minutes.I have been counting because counting is what I do now. Ten minutes since he pressed his forehead to mine. Ten minutes since his hand was on my jaw. Ten minutes since I thought the single syllable oh and meant it with my entire chest.Neither of us has moved.His forehead is still against mine. His hand is still on my jaw. His thumb is still on my cheekbone, and I have been breathing the same air as him for ten minutes, and the air in the small room is warm, and the small room is very small, and the small room has become, in the last ten minutes, the entire world.I am aware, in a way, I have not been aware of a thing in a long time, of the exact placement of his hand. The pad of his thumb on the bone is just below my eye. The way his fingers sit along the line of my jaw, not pressing, just there, just held. The way his palm is warm against the side of my face. The way his wrist is steady. The way his hand does not shake. The way his hand, which is a surgeon's hand, which












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