I Hate To Love You

I open my eyes to see a large hall, dimly blanketed in white light, I felt as if I had woken up from a deep sleep, my eyes felt rather heavy, and my head was cloudy. But something about the place gave me the nostalgic feeling of home. Flashes of images and faces flickered in front of my eyes, it seemed like a film of memories being replayed. My head throbbed all of a sudden as I tried to concentrate on the faces and images I was seeing. I finally returned to my senses.

I looked around to see the confused faces of many teenagers, it seemed as if they were waiting for someone or something. Just then, there was a loud announcement and we were asked to report to some hall. I was wondering why the speakers had to be on extremely high volume though. I had no idea what was going to happen but I didn't really think much about it and just decided to go anyway. It's not like I had anywhere else to go.

This place was so familiar, but no matter how hard I thought about it, I couldn't remember anything about the place. It seemed as if I were hit by amnesia, that was when I realized I didn't even remember my name, I had forgotten myself! I felt like I drowned to the bottom of my ocean of memories, and had forgotten how to swim to the top while struggling to breathe. I felt constrained not being able to remember anything. All I had was this unfamiliar nostalgia to count on as a clue to find what I had lost.

So far, from what I saw in front of me, I figured that this place was some sort of institution. But I was genuinely curious as to why they would bring a bunch of confused teenagers here to find their way when they knew nothing about the place. We were all like a bunch of confused animals bought into an unfamiliar habitat.

For now, I needed answers, so I might as well venture into the depths of this mysterious place and try to find myself within these walls and my fragmented memories.

I entered the hall and saw that everyone was already there. I discovered that the building was much bigger than I had imagined and had the most otherworldly features. I was wonderstruck for quite some time. It was so unrealistic and beautiful, like something I'd only see in my dreams. I wasn't the only one this shocked, everyone had their share of sheer amazement and wonder at the ethereal beauty of this place.

The hall was crowded, there were more than a thousand people assembled. I realized that there were a lot of new faces in addition to the ones I had seen earlier. However, these new faces seemed relaxed in comparison to the rest of us. I guessed that these were probably the existing members judging by their cool demeanor.

I quickly made my way into the crowd trying not to grab unwanted attention. That was when I noticed that these new faces, or should I say, old faces began looking in my direction, clearly surprised. When they realized that I was very much aware of their stares they just smiled sheepishly and continued talking to their friends. I heard someone's voice booming across the room, everyone was startled, someone had tripped over in the confusion. I ran over to help them, but when I saw their face I realized that he looked awfully familiar.

"Mez!!! It's been such a long time! Wait a second, how... how are you alive?!"

Ah Mez, Mez! that was my name, I felt a pang of relief on hearing that name, finally, I found it! I couldn't believe I had forgotten my name. This place might be the key to finding out how I lost my memories.

"What do you mean by am I alive?"

He suddenly tensed and stuttered "Wait! I didn't mean that uhh..it was just an accident.." I could tell that he was lying.

"I'm sorry this may sound ridiculous to you but, how do you know me?"

"You don't remember me?"

Somehow his name just popped into my head, it was Victor. I remembered that he was my old roommate Katy's older brother, but.. wait a second... Katy? how did I know that she was my old roommate? Wait I know her alright, I felt that I couldn't just forget her like that. Certainly, something had happened to me, nothing seemed right.

That was when memories, random ones started popping up and piece by piece. I didn't realize that I was in a daze, I snapped out of it as Victor shook me back to reality. I was surprised for a second, he then asked me "Mez! Are you ok? just a second ago you were talking to me and the next second you're spacing out? do you remember me?"

"Yeah, I haven't forgotten you, you're Victor, right? Katy's brother?"

"Wow! You actually remember Katy and me! Katy's been dying to see you ever since ..." his voice trailed away.

"I disappeared?" I said, having a habit of saying what randomly came into my head.

"Wait! How do you know?"

"So you're saying that I just...disappeared?!"

"WAIT. I can explain."

That was when the loud booming voice continued talking, I decided to ask the rest of my questions to him after that was over. The booming voice introduced herself as the institute head. Her name was Aslome Evergreen and she had begun this institute.

"Welcome everyone, newcomers and old members, to Merose. I will revise the set of rules and regulations to be followed firsthand. No details about this place are to be discussed with outsiders. The happenings at this institute will not be told to any other neighboring institutions either. The old members will explain things to all of you newcomers, so do not worry about finding your way around. You will now be assigned to your dorms. I will be explaining later in detail about what this place is meant for, although you all are bound to know from your peers."

After the speech was over, Victor asked "Hey, do you remember your way around this place?"

"No, I cannot seem to remember things clearly as of now, and I suppose I'm not a newcomer right?"

"Hmm, I knew something was off when I saw you, you weren't supposed to....I'll take you to your dorm, for now, there's a lot of explaining to do, so please be patient with me."

"Well, it's not like I have anything better to do, so yes, let's get going, and thank you for helping me."

"Oh, it's alright, you're my friend Mez, I hope you get your memory back soon, I and Katy will do our best to help you out." 

Victor showed me the way to the dorms, we arrived at room 530, he knocked softly. The door opened revealing Katy who hugged me as soon as she saw me, so hard that I was nearly breathless. She seemed extremely surprised and then said "Mez!! I'm so glad you're back! I thought I would never see you again...." Victor shot her a glare, she then realized what she had said and winced.

"Ah, I'm sorry, that's not what I meant."

"Ahha, it's ok, I understand, but I hope to know things soon."

"Katy, she's lost her memory," Victor said grimly.

"Oh no... ah, that's why you look so surprised, don't worry Mez, we'll help you."

"We will explain everything in due time Mez, for now, make yourself at home."

"Thank you, both of you, this means a lot."

I felt instantly comforted by these siblings, despite feeling extremely out of place and being bombarded with extreme confusion, I felt better knowing that I had once made good friends here. I wanted to get my memories back, I felt like I shouldn't be able to forget these people. I knew that they weren't new people and I had once been as close as family to them. My heart knew better than my brain.

The rest of the day I helped Katy with arranging things in our room, later that evening we were called for a training session, that was when I realized that I had forgotten to ask her what exactly this place was. But we were running late and had to hurry to the training grounds. Yet again I had to postpone my doubts for later, but I felt that I would find out in the process anyways.