Seventeenth Moonday - 1

It was a small blessing that my seventeenth moon day fell on one of my days off. I don't think I could have survived Delta Hester's displeasure at me taking the entire day off otherwise. Small mercies found me in those days, and I never forgot to thank the Moon Goddess for the reprieve.

But that was the only small mercy that graced me on my seventeenth.

All day, I felt a gnawing in my stomach. A deep ache that made me feel sick, as though starving. But the thought of eating made me want to throw up. I drank water and did my best to stay confined to my quarters, but the heat was unbearable. Not outside. Outside, it was overcast, and the winds were high, threatening a storm.

Inside my body, though, fever burned hot and high.

When I was a young girl in the kitchens, one of the older girls worked on the day of her seventeenth moon, and she complained of mild fatigue and increased hunger. She said it was like getting her period, but a bit worse. Hotter and more insistent, but nothing she couldn't handle. But she was a Gamma.

As another wave of pain washed over me and I doubled over on my tattered cot, it felt like my insides were being clawed at by a beast. Perhaps this was the curse of being an omega.

Swallowing hard, I reached for my water on the rickety table by my bedside, drinking my fifth cup down in as many minutes. It was the only thing that helped.

Does it hurt more because I'm weak? Or is this what Doctor Andromeda's medicine was meant to fix?

A few slivers of glass still glittered at me by the door from between the cracks of my floorboards. Pieces I couldn't retrieve the night before that glared at me, damning and condemning me to this unending pain in my stomach.

I should have taken the medicine.

I whimpered internally, gripping the worn blanket beneath me. Seldom had the flimsy cloth been comforting, but I gripped it with shaking hands and more strength than I knew I had as I groaned through another painful arc of heat and pressure.

Every moment of my life played out behind my clenched eyes, sweat beading my furrowed brow. Most of the flashes were of the infirmary, the slow erasure of Doctor Andromeda's smiles as she treated me. Phillipe's fading image at my bedside. The glares and smacks of Delta Hester. The occasional snarl from the Alpha and Luna.

Evangeline was more prominent than I would have guessed. I hadn't realized how much of a fixture in my world she'd been until that moment when it felt like my insides were about to rupture.

Her piercing gaze was often above me. That was her favorite place. Above me. Taking pleasure in stepping on my hand when I dropped a plate. Or kicking my side when I scrubbed a spill from the carpet in her room. Cruel, beautiful Evangeline.

The wave passed, and the memories faded. My ragged breathing filled the small shack, and I rose to refill my water glass. This was going to be a long process. But I was determined to survive. Even as a lowly omega, finally having a wolf would mean I was no longer alone. It would mean I could find my mate one day. And escape life as a servant in Snow Pointe.

That fragile hope held me together through each cycle of pain. And when the moon rose high in the night sky after hours of agony, I opened my threadbare curtains and knelt in front of the window, letting the light bathe me in its cool glow.

"Moon Goddess... I know I am a weak omega. And I know you favor the strong and brave. But please... please give me the chance to be both of those things. Please help me be brave and face the pain. Help me be strong and accept my wolf."

It was a simple, honest prayer. It was a prayer that only someone who has been weak their entire life could pray. I shouldn’t have wasted my breath on it. Someone with more sense would have held their tongue and accepted their fate.

The Moon Goddess abandoned me at birth. I should have died in the wilderness as an infant, per Snow Pointe pack rule. But I didn’t. And she was all I had.

The pain intensified, as did the heat. My back ached as I caved in on myself, clawing at the floor. This was it. My first shift. I was changing.