Surprise

“Uh, uh, girl, that’s the third time today,” Ayana said, rubbing my back and holding my hair as I violently vomited.

I slid down beside the toilet, wiping sweat off my forehead, trying to muster the strength to get up and wash away the disgusting taste in my mouth.

“I just need some electrolytes and some rest.”

“No, girl, you need to pee on a stick.”

“There’s no way. He used a condom every time.”

“Condoms break, Mira. I really think you should take a test to at least rule it out.”

“The only way I’m taking one is if you do it with me.”

“You’re so childish,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“You think I don’t know about Jeremy?”

“Mira, you’re in my business?”

“You damn right. You’ve been so secretive these days and smiling a little too hard at your phone when his name pops up.”

“Okay, but I’m grown.”

“No, you’re busted.”

She reached out to help me onto the edge of the bathtub. There, I found some relief from the cool wall against my head. I had vomited so much that my vision was getting blurry. Ayana walked over and placed a cool, damp washcloth on my forehead. That felt like love. I definitely needed that.

She reached under the sink and dug deep in the back and pulled out two pregnancy tests.

“Uh, uh, girl, where the hell did you get those from?”

“Look, when you’re outside as much as I am, you gotta be prepared,” she laughed.

“How long have you had these?”

“These are actually recent. I’ve noticed you were getting up in the middle of the night to vomit, so I got these last week.”

I wanted to protest, but I couldn’t. So instead, I opened the test and read the instructions. I didn’t care that Ayana was still there or that she’d probably yell at me for undressing in front of her, but none of that mattered. I needed to rule this out now.

I followed the instructions and placed the test flat on the sink.

“Your turn,” I said, as if I was challenging her.

She pushed me out of the bathroom to use hers. It took only fifteen seconds for her to open the door, and by then, I was feeling lightheaded. She set a timer for three minutes.

We sat there for what felt like the longest, most agonizing three minutes of my life. As we sat, she ran her fingers through my hair.

“So, when your test comes back positive, what are you going to do?”

“If… and that’s a big if… I’ll just have to bite the bullet and have a very real conversation.”

“Does that mean you’re going to be in a relationship with him?”

“I don’t know. I know he’ll want to, but how do I know if it’s for the best?”

“You’ll never know unless you try. Besides, he’s not a bad guy, Mira.”

“I know. I just don’t want to rush things, you know?”

“Girl, shut up! You’re pregnant, and you slept with him the first night you met. If that’s not rushing things, I don’t know what is.”

“We were having fun. This would mean a commitment, and that’s different.”

Just then, the timer went off. I jumped out of instinct, not ready to face the reality that I might be pregnant. We hadn’t even talked about having children, let alone having children.

She picked up hers and started screaming and yelling with excitement. Hers came back negative.

I went to pick up mine, and to my horror, a deep pink plus sign stared back at me.

I put the test down, tears streaming down my face. I mean, yeah, it’s not like I was trying to prevent it, but I wasn’t trying to have one either. I shook my head in denial.

“Give me another one,” I demanded.

Ayana reached under the sink and pulled out another one. This time, I didn’t have to wait the full three minutes. The plus sign appeared almost immediately. I sat there, rummaging through my thoughts, trying to figure out when this could have happened. I wasn’t upset or sad; I just knew my life was going to change forever.

“Are you going to keep it?”

“Yana, I don’t know,” I said, staring blankly into the air.

“You don’t have to tell him today if you don’t want to, but you definitely need to tell him sooner than later.”

I didn’t say anything in response. I was still processing what parenthood would even look like for two people who were still learning each other.