Oh Joy, Retail Therapy

After that first day, I never cried in front of my parents again. Mom and dad and even Genevieve looked very upset when they saw me crying and in pain. When he first heard about it, dad got really angry. That was the angriest I've ever seen him. He's usually a very laid back and easy going kinda person. I learned that day that my daddy can be very scary when he's angry. Mom had to calm him down to stop him from changing and go charging into the Packhouse.

Now I cry in the shower. I make sure to muffle my sobs with my hands. Also that second night I felt the pain so intense that I had to bite my pillow to swallow the sound of my scream. It lasted almost an hour. I knew right away what my mate was doing then. He's having fun with some other female, probably Pia, while I'm feeling the pain. How is that fair? My wolf Nyx howled in pain, sadness, and rage. Oh, I can feel her rage now, and that's better than her silence. My wolf is strong. I'm glad she's still here. At least she hasn't abandoned me....yet.

My friends Aurelia, Vesper, and Kane now know the whole story and are very pissed. Vesper had to calm Kane down who looked pissed enough to kill somebody. They come to visit me after school almost every day to cheer me up. I don't know what I'd do without my loyal friends.

I never thought being an Omega is that bad. I mean, my parents taught me that everybody is equal. Even humans should be treated with the same respect. I guess not everybody thinks that. Now I'm conscious of my status as an Omega.

My father was actually in line for an Alpha in his old pack. As I said earlier, he and my mom are hippies at heart. He's too carefree to be an Alpha, much to my grandpa's endless chagrin. His younger brother, my uncle Ashton took over while dad followed mom to this pack. His old pack, Canis Gunnolf Pack is one of the strongest in the world too.

We never talked about this to anyone. I think the only people who knew about dad being an alpha in line for Canis Gunnolf are Alpha Alistair(Bane's dad) and his beta.

I think Alpha Alistair was worried that my dad would challenge him for the title as an alpha when he first made a request to join this pack. My dad is quite a big man after all. He relegated my dad to an Omega level, which my dad didn't at all mind.

Today is Friday, the third day after it happened, I decided that I've wasted enough time. I'm not wasting any more time mourning over a useless jerk of an ex-mate. My wolf Nyx hasn't left me. I can live without a mate. I'm determined to make it without a mate.

However, I'm not ready to go to school yet. I'm not ready to see him and Pia eating each other's faces and laughing and be happy together. But I'm going to show him that I'm strong. That he doesn't have the power to break me.

I go to our Art Supply Store instead. Liveshade's Kraft & Art Supply Store, the sign says in bold colorful letters up the front above the entrance. We own this store and we're the only art supply store in town. Mom sometimes offers painting lessons as well.

"Hey baby girl!" says dad, looking surprised but happy to see me there. "Just the girl I want to see. I have good news for you," he smiles, looking enthusiastic as he arranges the pastel boxes on the shelf.

"You just sold your very first painting this morning," he announces.

"Really? Which one?" Wow, that lifts my spirit up a little.

"The rundown hut by the lake in oil," he answers as he moves behind the counter. "Here you go, honey," he hands me the money. Pride shines in his eyes.

Five hundred dollars. It wasn't even a big painting.

"You're a rich woman now. What are you going to do with all that money?" he asks me teasingly.

"Wow! I don't know, dad. So many possibilities. I might buy me a Porsche, and a fancy condo and ditch you guys.."

"Smart-aleck," laughs dad, ruffling my hair. I think he's relieved that I'm out of my self-imposed imprisonment and sound almost like my old self again.

Truth is, I don't think I'll ever be my old self again. Not that I'll be depressed forever. I won't let a worthless jerk breaks me like that. It's just that I feel different inside now. My wolf and I have changed. My heart still feels like it's just being trampled on by a herd of full-grown elephants. I wish the pain would just go away soon. At least now I know I can be stronger and my wolf is staying.

My phone beeps with an incoming text message.

Queen Aurelia: Whatcha doing? Daytime tv any good?

Me: Nope. At the art store. Whatcha doing? Chem any good?

Queen Aurelia: Ha Ha Ha....bored. kill me now.

Me: Ha Ha...Sold my painting today. $500 Woo hoo!

Queen Aurelia: COOL! Going shopping after school. Pizza & ice-cream your treat.

Me: NOOOOOO!!!

Queen Aurelia: YESSSS!!! Will let Vesper know. gtg. C ya! Love ya!

I know my friends would drag me to the mall by my ankle, kicking and screaming if they have to.

I enter the studio at the back of the store. I pick a big blank canvas, put an apron on, then I attack the canvas, pouring every anger and frustration and sadness into it. Only after I'm done, that I realize that my cheeks are wet with tears.

It's a semi-abstract, with layers and swirls of colors of demons and angry lines of heartbreaks. A single white dove flying alone. Its fluttering wings are almost translucent. The dove is ethereal, too exquisite for it's surrounding. My hope and strength. *I am good enough.*

"Oh honey," says mom from behind me. "That is...absolutely amazing," she gasps. Tears filling her eyes as she stares at the painting.

After school, my two friends show up looking excited.

"We ditched Kane with his friends. We are going to get pampered today. Mani and Pedi, hair, makeup, shopping...the whole thing!" announces Vesper.

"By the time we're done, we're going to look so hot, bitchessss!!!" yells Aurelia as she drags me out.

"Oh joy, retail therapy," I mumble.

Mom laughs. "Have fun, girls!" she hollers.

"We will, Lavinia," replies Aurelia and Vesper in unison.

"You have those long beautiful legs that go on for miles. You should show them off," argues Vesper.

She and Aurelia have been trying to force me to get into one of those short skirts for ages. They've been begging to dress me up forever now. I love jeans. I wear jeans everywhere. I've worn skirts before, but they usually reach below my knees. Not this short.

"Come on Livana. We're not going anywhere until you try that on," threatens Aurelia.

"Oh alright!" I sigh in defeat. As if wearing short skirts will make me feel better.

"Are you done yet? We wanna see. We're coming in right now!" yells Vesper as both her and Aurelia crammed into the fitting room with me.

"I so envy you your legs right now, Livana," sighs Aurelia.

I have to admit, I like how I look in the small purple top and the matching skirt. The top follows the contours of my body like a glove, the V-neckline just skimming over the rise of my creamy skin, making my boobs look bigger...sort of. The skirt makes my legs look curvier and endless.

I let them pick my outfit from then on, but I draw the line when Aurelia tries to put me in skirts that should qualify as belts or shorts that got my ass cheeks hanging out underneath.

We get our finger and toenails and hair done too.

Aurelia has her straight black hair cut short just above her chin, making her look edgy. Her bang is cut straight too. She looks like a model.

Vesper gets some highlights and trimmed to just below her shoulders. She doesn't need much. With her blond hair and big blue eyes, she always looks like an angel...even when she's up to no good.

My copper red hair gets some chunky caramel blond stripes on the side, some layers, and dyed lighter red at the bottom. The human hairdresser, Carrie suggested it and I'm liking it. Vesper and Aurelia are excited about it too.

"Your hair looks like a red hot blazing fire," comments Vesper.

"You're looking badass, Livana," approves Aurelia. "Now let's go get some pizza and ice-cream that you promised us."

"Ummm...I never promised you pizza