LOGIN(Chloe)Natasha Kelly is sitting across from me in a booth, holding the drinks menu like it's written in a language she refuses to learn."What is a nervine?" she asks."It calms your nervous system. That one has skullcap, oat straw, and blue lotus. It's basically a hug for your vagus nerve.""That sounds vaguely sexual. I'm going to stick to wine.""That's also valid. I’ll have the prenatal version with chamomile and rose water instead of skullcap and blue lotus. That's a no while I'm growing a person." "The baby kicks, hard, like she agrees.She's been doing barrel rolls since seven, which Bryce says means a Sagittarius moon and my OB says means nothing, and honestly I hold both truths.I still can't believe I'm here.Natasha called me.I've done a gratitude journal entry about it already and the drinks hadn't even started.Her wine and my mocktail arrives, purple and beautiful. She eyes it."It looks radioactive.""It's the butterfly pea flower that gives it color. Do you want to
(Natasha)Dr. Hannah Myles has publications.Fourteen of them, indexed, peer-reviewed, and I know this because it's nine p.m. and I'm three pages deep into a medical database instead of sleeping.There's a conference photo.She's presenting something about valve repair, hair up, laser pointer in hand, looking like the kind of woman who saves lives before lunch and never once loses her keys.Lily's monitor hums on the nightstand as I close the laptop.This is ridiculous. I'm being ridiculous.Chase had a drink with the mother of his son.One drink, in her kitchen, fully clothed, about custody logistics and the impact of me moving.He told me about it himself, unprompted, the second Elijah went to bed."It was nice," he said. "First time we've talked like normal people."Nice.He said it was nice, and something in me pulled a fire alarm.Because here's what my brain served up at two a.m. that day and has been reheating since.I'm getting on a plane in five weeks.She's staying right her
(Hannah)The valve replacement runs forty minutes over because the man's arteries have opinions, and by the time I scrub out it's past two and I've eaten one granola bar since five a.m.Standard Tuesday.What's not standard is that I keep thinking about Chase Warren while elbow-deep in someone's chest cavity.Not like that.Like a puzzle.The man drank wine in my kitchen last night and talked about making compromises for the woman he loves.Made promises about our son and meant them.Twenty-year-old Chase would've handed the whole conversation to an assistant and gotten out of there so fast the breeze would have ruffled my hair.People don't change, is what I've believed my whole life.They just get more like themselves with each passing year.Apparently I've been wrong.With the right incentive people can change.Natasha Kelly seems to be exceptionally good at inspiring transformations.And she's leaving.Which is going to land on my son heavily.I’m jealous as hell of the rapport sh
(Chase)"He's not ready," Hannah says, holding the door open. "Shocking, I know. Ten years of six a.m. shifts and I've never once been late. He barely makes it to the bus on time most mornings and currently can't find a shoe.""It's genetic. I lost a passport in an airport once. While holding it."She almost smiles at that. Then she looks at me properly, the way she looked at my chart when I was her patient in the hospital."You look like hell, Chase.""Thank you. I've been working on it.""Elijah!" she calls up the stairs. "Your father's here!"Then, to me, quieter, "You've got fifteen minutes minimum. Come in. I just opened a bottle of wine I have no business finishing alone."That's new.Two months of hand-offs on this doorstep and I've been inside exactly twice, both times supervised like a contractor.She pours two glasses in the kitchen and doesn't bother with small talk."So what is it? Work, or Natasha?""Why would it be either?""I’ll admit you’ve changed a lot since I knew y
(Chase)"Your client's indemnity cap is a joke," Natasha says, "And you know it's a joke, because you wrote it."Eleven people around my boardroom table and she says it to my face like we're alone."The cap is standard.""It was standard in 2019. Is this Back to the Future?"Someone on my side of the table coughs into his fist.My own general counsel is fighting a smile.Traitor."Fine," I say. "Send us revised language.""Already did. Forty minutes ago. Check your inbox."She did. It's sitting right there, timestamped before the meeting even started.She came in here already having won and let me argue anyway.She used to do this during every meeting back when she hated me.Opposite sides of a table, her taking my positions apart bolt by bolt while I pretended it didn't do things to me.It still does things to me.That's the problem."We'll take an hour," Mason's deputy says, and the room starts packing up.Natasha doesn't pack up.She sits there, pen flat on her legal pad, and waits
(Lily – Age sixteen)My brother has been standing in my doorway for four straight minutes narrating his video game to nobody, and I would like it on record that I did not ask for a younger brother, let alone this one.Eli is great, and they obviously peaked when they had me, it was all downhill from there."Get out.""It's my house too.""It is factually more my house today. It's my birthday."He considers this with the seriousness of a Supreme Court justice, then leaves, which is the best birthday present anyone's given me so far, and it's not even nine a.m.He reappears exactly six minutes later to inform me that sixteen isn't even a real milestone birthday, actually, eighteen is the real one, so I shouldn't get used to the attention.I throw a pillow at him. He ducks. It's basically our love language at this point.Dad's in the kitchen when I come down, flipping something that used to resemble a pancake.Mom's on a video call at the counter, laptop angled so whoever's on the other
(Natasha)My mother makes tea at six in the morning because she doesn’t know what else to do.I sit at the kitchen island and watch her move through the townhouse, calm and efficient in a way that only makes her worry more obvious.She raised me to be stronger than this, and now she’s pretending no
(Chase)I watch her from the bedroom window as Natasha loads her bags into the boot of her car.Two suitcases.The smaller one goes on top.Lily's travel bag is over her shoulder. The one she bought before coming to Tokyo.She must be taking the extra supplies back to her house.To the skylight roo
(Natasha)I pick my moment carefully.Sunday morning, after Lily's early feed, before Sonia and Eleanor are moving about.The other night in the nursery, when they came back from Sonia’s mother’s beach house, made it clear that we can’t continue this way.Chase is in the kitchen with coffee, lookin
(Natasha)I'm in the rocking chair with Lily when I hear the front door open.She's been unsettled all evening.Not crying, just awake and unhappy about it, wanting to be held rather than put down.I don't mind.There's something about the dark nursery and her warm weight against my chest that I've







