LOGINMy ride back home felt almost unbearable.
I watched the city pass in a blur through the taxi window as tried to hold back my tears. I couldn’t seem to rub this feeling of disgust off of me How could I? Why could I? I was a cheater. I had silently betrayed our marriage a few months before we renewed our vows. And with Serge Sterling. A man I knew and loathed with everything in me. Yet for some reason, some sickening reason, I knew deep in my heart that I wouldn’t forget everything we did. Even when I wasn’t supposed to. And I hated that reality. Signing, I cleaned the tears on my face. I couldn’t stop thinking about what I was going to tell Matthew. The storm couldn’t let me get back earlier? I got stuck in the elevator because power went out? “Ahh.” I groan for the umpeth time and the driver throws another look my way through the review mirror. “Sorry.” I mummer to him, slightly embarrassed Wrapping my hands around my self, I realised something was missing. I didn’t have my blue scarf around my neck. Oh no. Dread washes over me as I realize where it could possibly be. Can this night get any worse? I rub at my neck looking through the blank screen of my phone making sure to remove any marks he might have left on me. “We are here ma’am” the taxi driver calls. “Ohh, thank you.” I smile, handing him a dollar bill before rushing to my house porch. Judging from how much my body was aching the smell of expensive men’s cologne and fresh sex all over me, I knew I had to make a stop in the bathroom before Matthew saw me. Quietly, I opened the door and stepped in. Everything was quiet, a total contrast to my pounding heart. Softly, I patted through the living room towards the bathroom that was at the end of the hallway but froze when I saw Matthew waking up from his slumber on the couch. “Honey?” He softly called He had a blanket wrapped around his back, his brown eyes were swollen and looked tired, his shirt and shorts were wrinkled and his hair seemed like he had run his fingers through it several times. My heart sank when I realized he sat on the couch throughout the storm waiting for me to come home. “Are you okay? Where have you been.?” He came closer, capping my face while his eyes searched for any injuries. I closed my eyes and held my breath. I couldn’t stand the guilt, the shame and the rage that was building inside of me. Matthew was a good man, he was my man for the past two years, he made sure I was always happy, he made sure I never paid any bills around this house, he worked his ass off for us, for me to be as comfortable as I could. I toke a cleaning job because I couldn’t watch him do everything for us because I could work too, even after several arguments from him, I insisted to work. But right now, I regret why I didn’t listen to him the first place, why I didn’t just accept my fate as a house wife. Because maybe I wouldn’t have fallen into temptation. “Ava, talk to me. Is everything alright.!” He cooed “Yeah. I just was really scared about tonight, am sorry am late, power went off and I got stuck in the elevator.” I lied through my teeth, sniffing in the process to ground my lie. However selfish it sounded, I wasn’t about to lose the best thing that ever happened to me because of my one stupid mistake. Matthew grabbed his blanket and wrapped it around me, hugging me in the process and kissing my forehead. “I was terrified Ava, The news said the subways were flooding.” He says but I pull away from him, my heart stopping in the process. Could he smell the cologne on me, the expensive mixture of coffee and cigarettes? Pretending to need a hot shower, I excuse myself from him to go to the bathroom. I needed to wash off any grimes of that office off my body, any traces of that man off of me forever. Making my way down the hallway, I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror and I pause. My lips are swollen and slightly pink, my eyes look puffy and my neck is almost in a shade of pink with light marks of huge fingers around it. I looked like a woman who had been thoroughly awakened in a dark room and in a door, not one that had been trapped in a four wall silver box like I claimed. Rushing inside the bathroom, I lock myself in stripping all my clothes in the process then turn on the shower and jump in. I scrub myself like it’s the last shower I was ever having. Focusing on every part he touched , trying on trying to wash off all the dirt forbidden pleasures I just experienced. After what seems like a life time, I jump out, feeling somewhat fresh and a little relieved that I got rid of his stupid scent that was still lingering on me. A hot meal sounded good about now, I think to myself as I head to the kitchen and start warming up the sauce Matthew had made for me. Chicken soup with mushroom and vegetable rice. My favorite “Ava?” Matthew calls from the living room I hum in response “ Did you manage to check out the design templates I emailed you?” He says, walking to the kitchen and settling at the small island in front of me. I didn’t. I totally forgot “ Ahh.. my phone battery died but can I see them now, with your phone.” I smile at him, lying again for the second time tonight. I sign. He pulls his laptop closer to me and we check through the various designs could we use for our wedding Anniversary invitation cards. It was in three months and Matthew was really excited about it. I was too, but he was more. We had decided to renewal our vows too and right now, I felt like I needed it more than ever. To correct my underlying wrongs. “Ohh. I almost forgot, a friend of mine came back to town by the way, he had been away for a while but he promised to attend our anniversary, I missed that guy so much.” He laughs and slightly poses to think. I felt so lucky to have a man like him, so blessed to be married to Matthew even though he kept thinking he was the lucky one to have me. “Oh.. here he is.. this was back then, when we were still in military training.” He points to a photo on the laptop. It was a picture you get looking Matthew and someone else, he looked so familiar but I couldn’t place my figure at who he was. “Who.. who is that?” I voiced my curiosity “That’s him. Leo.. That my man.. .” He grins But I can’t help than have an unsettling feeling about that photo. I had never seen his friend but his photo felt like I had seen him somewhere though I couldn’t quite place my finger where. I yawn and stretch for almost a full minute. My body was really aching, my back felt like someone had snapped it into two. He literally did. I scoff in disappointment. I needed to rest and mentally repair myself for tomorrow’s shift, to be ready and avoid that man as much as I could. Even if it meant changing my hair colour for the sake of my sanity, I would have to dye it maybe to black from its dull brown color While zoned out, I heard the door bell ring. “ I gat it.” I tell Matthew before absentmindedly padding to the door. It was almost 2 am in the morning for heavens sake, who was that? Pulling the door open, there were two men standing on our porch but my knees buckled when noticed the man behind. Mr. Serge..Sterling?AVA POV. My mind got stuck as I looked into Matthew’s eyes. Trying to say something but nothing at the same time. Inside, I could feel myself breaking piece by piece, into a million tiny bits of shame, resentment regret, but amidst my havoc, I felt rage coating every cell of my body, every tissue on my bones. Because, as I looked at my husband, I couldn’t help but compare him to the demon I left upstairs, Matthew was my husband, the man I had built a life with, the steady sweet love that was supposed to be my anchor but there was Serge too now, a man who had fully derailed my entire existence, a man who was suddenly starting to say all the wrong words I wanted to hear, even if his cruel actions never matched his words, he was a demon by nature but I wanted succumb in submission for him, to suffer from his fury to become his Lilith and him mine. I swallowed the lump in my throat, forcing my voice to steady as i spun out the only lie that could save us both tonight. ."Ma
AVA POV As soon as the VIP green room door closed shut behind us, cutting off any noise of the ballroom, I snapped. Remembering the look of shock on Matthews’ face just made the internal panic and anxiety in me finally break loose from my chest and throughout my body. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I screamed tears bursting past my mascaraed eyelashes and down my face as I aggressively pulled my arm out of his grip. "You humiliated him! You barked into the microphone in front of hundreds of people just for catching me! He is my husband, Serge!” “You set this whole thing up just to destroy us, didn't you? You brought him back from upstate early for this event just to torture me!" "I didn't set a damn thing up, woman!" Serge barked back, his deep voice booming through the walls of the small room. He reached into his pocket and pulled out my silver wedding band, tossing it carelessly onto the mahogany table. "Stop acting like I mapped out my entire gala arou
AVA POV. The gold doors at the entrance of the hall slammed shut behind us, cutting off the deafening paparazzi from entering, creating some much needed silence but still the silence inside did nothing to calm the panic building up in me. The air conditioned air of the grand foyer hit my face, cold and welcoming but I could almost barely breathe, my lungs burned. Every cell in my body screamed at me to rip off this gown or tear off the lace mask from my face, and run for the hills until my feet bled. Matthew. He was here. He was standing right outside those doors. His absence had left me feeling confused yet here he was wearing that uniform of Sterling security team, here to protect I and the man who currently owned me. My heart crushed against my ribs to the point that made my head spin. Serge walked around, pulling me along with him everywhere he paused. "You're shaking, Ava." Serge’s deep voice whispered against my ear, snapping me back to reality. His
The morning sun was blinding when I finally opened my eyes, the cold space beside me on the mattress instantly bringing me back to reality. He was gone. The sheets on his side of the bed were completely smoothed out, leaving nothing behind but that faint, lingering scent all over. I lay there for a minute, staring at the ceiling, my chest aching. “I can’t control how much I need you, Ava” That whisper from the dark echoed in my head, making my heart do a sickening backflip. Had he actually said it? Or was it just a vivid, desperate hallucination cooked up by my own stressed out brain? I shook my head, forcing myself out of bed before the nausea could hit me again. I couldn't afford to get sick. Not today. After a quick shower, I padded down the quiet hallway, trying not to get lost in the process. I didn't see Abby or the baby anywhere, but the heavy doors to Serge’s home office were slightly ajar. I pushed the door open, trying to look confident. Serge was
I spent ten minutes in front of the bathroom sink, scrubbing off the scent of Serge’s mint and tobacco off my skin, but nothing could wash away that heat of his fingers. My hands wouldn't stop shaking. I forced my swollen lips to stay flat as I pulled my damp hair into a loose bun, and threw on a simple grey oversized shirt to hide the pink marks on my neck. Walking down the grand staircase, I almost felt like I was marching toward an execution but when I stepped into the dining room, crispy smell of roasted chicken and garlic hit my nose. My stomach immediately rolled, a sharp wave of leftover nausea hitting the back of my throat, but I forced it down. I couldn't throw up. Not again. .“Oh, Ava! Come, sit down,” Abby’s sweet voice cut through to me. She was already seated at the massive marble table, pouring water into the crystal glasses. Serge was sitting at the head, of course. He had changed into a cotton black t-shirt, looking completely relaxed, as if he hadn
AVA POV Serge lets out a deep growl against my mouth, his large hands immediately flying out to wrap around my wet waist, lifting me off the floor as he pressed his mouth back into mine with a force that almost shattered whatever sanity I had left in me. The hot water from the shower head was burning against our skins, but I couldn't feel the chill of reality anymore. My fingers clutched desperately at the now damp fabric of his white shirt, tearing at the buttons as I pulled him closer, drowning in the taste of him. It was heavy. Brutal. I didn’t know what was happening to me lately but he seemed to be the only solution. I had this chaotic rush of adrenaline that made my head spin out of control every damn time he was next to me and in these seconds, of us like this, nothing ever mattered to me, not my husband, not Leo or even the burning sensation of my wedding ring on my finger because it all didn't exist. All I knew and needed right now was this bruising pressure
The denim jeans felt stiff and really heavy against my fingertips. I stood frozen in the cramped laundry room, my wide eyes staring at the splattered cluster of brownish red stains trailing along the lower cuffs of Matthew's trousers. Blood. It was undeniably human blood. A sickening wave of bli
If someone ever told me that I would be seated around three men, one being my husband, another being my husbands’ childhood friend. And the other being the brother to my husbands’ friend. Who also happened to be a man I just had sex with less than three hours ago, I would have laughed in their fa
A sharp spike of heat shot through my entire body like lightning. It was a terrifying sensation. Breaking apart from the breathless kiss, he didn't give me a single second to collect my scattered thoughts, he bent over, gripped me firmly around the waist, and flipped me effortlessly over his
Ava Miller. I needed to get home before this storm broke. Standing inside the elevator, I impatiently tapped my foot against the cold metal floor, watching the red digital numbers slowly descend. 33... 32... 31... It was nearly midnight. My cleaning shift had gone on much longer







