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The Rescue… Needs Rescuing
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2026-07-17 04:14:35Pack Rule #21: If the Beta says, “Nobody move,” the Alpha has already moved.
Three patrol wolves sprinted toward the equipment shed. I watched them disappear around the corner and allowed myself a tiny flicker of hope. Maybe… Just maybe… We could resolve today’s emergency without adding another incident report to the filing cabinet. Above me, Rowan was still balanced on the branch, talking softly to the tiny kitten. “It’s okay, little buddy.” A timid meow answered him. “You don’t have to be scared.” Another meow. The branch swayed. Every wolf below sucked in a breath. Rowan didn’t even seem to notice. I did. “Rowan.” “Yes?” “Stop leaning.” “I’m not leaning.” The branch creaked. “…The tree disagrees.” He looked down. “Oh.” He shifted his weight exactly one inch. The branch creaked louder. Several wolves instinctively stepped backward. “I think the tree’s nervous,” one patrol wolf whispered. “The tree has excellent instincts,” I replied. Beside me, Elder Martha unfolded another napkin and calmly handed me a blueberry muffin. “You should eat.” “Elder Martha…” “You’ll think better.” “I’m currently thinking about early retirement.” “Exactly.” I accepted the muffin. Stress calories still didn’t count. Across the clearing, the goat wandered over to the training dummies. He sniffed one thoughtfully. Head-butted it. Then looked strangely pleased with himself. One of the younger wolves pointed. “…Should someone stop him?” “No.” “Why not?” I took another bite of muffin. “I can only manage one disaster at a time.” The goat won. The dummy lost. A loud crack echoed through the field. No one reacted. We had priorities. Moments later the patrol wolves returned, carrying the long wooden ladder between them. “We’ve got it!” Finally. Progress. “Bring it over here,” I called. They hurried toward the tree. Halfway there… One patrol wolf tripped over a tree root. The ladder lurched sideways. The wolf behind him tried to compensate. Instead… The ladder spun like a giant windmill. “LOOK OUT!” Every wolf scattered. The ladder narrowly missed Elder Martha’s picnic basket. The goat casually stepped aside without even looking up. I blinked. “…Did the goat just have better reflexes than my patrol?” Apparently… Yes. The ladder finally hit the ground with a loud thud. Silence settled over the clearing. I looked at the patrol wolves. They looked at me. “I’m adding training exercises,” I said. “Fair.” Above us, Rowan cleared his throat. “So…” I looked up. “…Yes?” “I have good news.” “…I’m terrified to ask.” “I’ve got the kitten.” The tiny orange ball of fur peeked out from inside Rowan’s jacket. Its little nose twitched. Its frightened eyes blinked down at the crowd below. A collective… “Awwww…” rolled through the clearing. Even I smiled. Just a little. The kitten purred. Rowan’s entire face softened. “There you go.” He gently scratched behind its tiny ears. “See? Everything’s okay.” I sighed. This… This was why nobody could stay angry with him. He’d risk his own neck for complete strangers. Or frightened kittens. Or goats trapped in hammocks. Or probably squirrels if they asked nicely. His heart simply outran his common sense. Every single time. I folded my arms. “Rowan.” “Yes?” “You’ve done the heroic part.” “Thank you.” “Now do the intelligent part.” “…What’s that?” “Come down.” He glanced below him. Then at the kitten. Then back at us. “…About that…” Every muscle in my body tensed. “What.” “I can’t.” The clearing fell silent. “You…” “…can’t?” He smiled apologetically. “I may have climbed a little higher than I realized.” I closed my eyes. Counted to ten. It wasn’t enough. “How high?” “I don’t know.” “Estimate.” “…Very?” One of the patrol wolves quietly whispered, “I respect his honesty.” “I don’t,” I answered. Elder Martha patted my shoulder. “Deep breaths.” “I’m trying.” “No…” she said with a smile. “…you’re plotting.” She wasn’t wrong. The ladder was finally stood against the tree. I inspected the angle. It reached… Almost. Three feet short. I stared. Then stared some more. “Please tell me…” I whispered. “No.” A patrol wolf swallowed nervously. “…It’s the tallest ladder we own.” I looked toward the sky. “If anyone up there likes me…” I paused. “…this would be an excellent time to prove it.” Right on cue… The kitten sneezed. Rowan laughed. The branch groaned. And somewhere behind me… The goat began chewing on the bottom rung of the ladder. I slowly turned. “…Don’t.” The goat blinked. Chewed harder. Crunch. I pointed at him. “You.” Crunch. “We are going to have a conversation.” The goat ignored me completely. Of course he did. Because apparently… Chaos traveled in pairs. One Alpha. One goat. The universe had a sense of humor. Unfortunately… It was usually at my expense.
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