Chapter Five: The Truth I Never Expected

Sage P.O.V

 Fuck! Why her? Anyone but her. Fuck! I can't get her out of my thoughts.

Amanda? I just can't get her out of my thoughts.

Across the room, Vanessa laughed loudly while talking to Xavier.

Normally, seeing my girlfriend flirting with someone else should have bothered me.

It didn't.

Not even a little.

In fact, I found myself wondering why I'd ever dated her in the first place.

Maybe I had convinced myself I cared about her because it was expected.

Maybe it was easy.

Maybe I never really knew what having feelings for someone felt like.

Not until now.

I just shake it off and get behind her and whisper in her ear.

  "Hey, baby, let's go to my room. You know what you've got to do. Get cleaned and showered. After you do, bring the box and get on all fours, look straight ahead, and wait for me to come up." I say, smirking. She nods a little too enthusiastically and runs upstairs.

  I turn to start heading upstairs, where my soon-to-be ex-girlfriend is waiting for me, but I stop and decide to make her wait a while longer until I'm ready to meet her. I hang out with my buddies for a while, looking around at my party guests. There are many people here, man; I can't believe today is finally here, the day I become the Alpha of the pack. I need my Luna by my side. I already know who it is, and it's not who everyone thinks it is.

  I finally decided to go back to my room, and she's waited long enough, and so have I. I grab the blindfold and handcuffs from my closet, but I stand there in a daze, thinking about Amanda, not my girlfriend. God! Why am I so turned on just by thinking about what her pussy would look like on my face?

  I'm so fucking hard right now. Damn it! I have a girlfriend; she's a slut, but she's still my girlfriend. I thought I felt love for her, but after today, I don't. I don't think I ever did. This whole situation is so fucked up right now. I can't stop thinking about what I did earlier. What was going through my head? What was I thinking?

  It felt like sparks were shooting up and down my skin when I pulled Amanda up on my hips, wrapping her legs around me. It makes me wonder if I got that feeling just from our skin briefly touching; what would it feel like to fuck her? 

  All I keep thinking is that she is mine. Why am I thinking that? I know I was mean to her with what I said about dressing slutty and staying away from everyone, especially guys. I couldn't stop staring at her luscious lips, and I wondered what it would be like to kiss her. I had to get out of there before I did something stupid. I kept my eye on her nearly all day. Why did I do that?

I just can't stop thinking about what happened earlier.

  I hid in the trees, just staring at her, getting turned on by how she licks her lips.

  "Go to our mate, mark her, take her, and fuck her." My wolf Lee mind-links me. She smells so fucking delicious! She looks up and gets startled. 

  I move so fast that she doesn't see me standing right behind her when she looks up again. I can smell her scent, and it's intoxicating. I kissed her, but she pushed me away, getting in her car, all the time staring at me with tears in her eyes. I know the mate bond can be strong, but it can't be as strong as that. I feel a strong pull towards her like I need to be with her; I need her to breathe.

  "This is insane. I need to take my mind off of her, and I know the perfect way to do so." I quietly say to myself, looking towards Vanessa, who is still on the bed waiting for me.  

  Vanessa is happy that I haven't found my mate yet, but she is sad that it isn't her. No one knows that I have found my mate. I know who she is. But how do I tell everyone that the human girl we all call humi- well, she is my mate? This really sucks- not that she's my mate, but the horrible way I treated her and got others to treat her. I can't stop thinking about her and be honest, and I don't want to. I'm glad she is my mate. The human girl. Amanda. 

  "Yep, I'm so glad we found our mate, too." Lee mind-linked with me. 

I walked out of my room and left my girlfriend in my room. I just went to find a drink and Xavier.

Damn it.

Why her?

Of all the people in the world, why did it have to be Amanda Light?

The question had been repeating in my head all night.

I sat in the middle of my nineteenth birthday celebration, surrounded by pack members, friends, and enough food to feed half the town, yet I couldn't focus on any of it.

Not when every thought led back to her.

Amanda.

The human girl.

The girl I had spent years pushing away.

The girl I had made everyone else push away, too.

The girl who was my mate.

And that realization terrified me.

The party continued around me.

Music played.

People danced.

Everyone was celebrating.

Tonight was important.

Tonight I officially stepped into my future role as Alpha.

Everyone expected me to stand proudly beside my future Luna.

The problem was that nobody knew who she was.

Nobody except me.

And I wasn't sure how they would react when they found out.

A human.

My mate was human.

I rubbed my face and leaned back against the wall.

The bond had hit me like a truck.

One moment, everything had been normal.

Next, all I could think about was Amanda.

Her scent.

Her smile.

The sound of her voice.

Even when she was angry.

Especially when she was angry.

A week ago, I would have laughed if someone told me Amanda Light was my destined mate.

Now I couldn't imagine anything else.

The guilt was eating me alive.

Every insult.

Every cruel comment.

Every time I'd ordered people to stay away from her.

Every time I'd watched her walk away looking hurt.

I remembered all of it.

And for the first time, I hated myself for it.

"You're staring into space again."

I looked up.

Xavier stood beside me with a drink in his hand.

"You've been doing that all night."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

I sighed.

Xavier knew me too well.

Before I could answer, my wolf spoke inside my head.

Tell him.

Not now.

You found our mate.

I know.

Then stop acting like an idiot.

I ignored him.

My wolf, Lee, had been impossible since finding Amanda.

Every five minutes, he reminded me.

Every ten minutes, he told me to go to her.

It was driving me insane.

The problem wasn't that Amanda was my mate.

The problem was everything I'd done before discovering she was.

How was I supposed to explain years of bullying?

How was I supposed to explain pretending I hated her?

How was I supposed to explain that I didn't even understand my own behavior?

I thought back to earlier that evening.

To the parking lot.

To the moment I'd caught her scent.

Rose.

Honey.

The sweetest thing I'd ever smelled.

The second it reached me, something inside me changed.

Every instinct had screamed the same thing.

Mate.

I had followed the scent without thinking.

Then I'd seen her standing beside her car.

Beautiful.

Nervous.

Completely unaware of what she was to me.

And all I could do was stare.

She had looked so frightened when she noticed me.

The memory made my chest tighten.

I never wanted Amanda to be afraid of me.

Yet I was the reason she was.

The realization hurt more than I expected.

"What happened to you?" Xavier suddenly asked.

I blinked.

"What?"

"You've been acting weird for a week."

I looked away.

Because if I met his eyes, he would know.

Everyone would know eventually.

There was no hiding a mate bond forever.

Especially not one this strong.

"I found her," I finally admitted.

Xavier froze.

For a second, neither of us spoke.

Then his eyes widened.

"You found your mate?"

I nodded.

A slow grin appeared on his face.

"Who is she?"

My stomach twisted.

The answer felt impossible to say out loud.

Because once I said it, everything would change.

My life.

Amanda's life.

The pack.

Everything.

I looked toward the window, where the night sky stretched beyond the party lights.

A small smile found its way onto my face despite all the chaos in my head.

Amanda.

My mate.

The one person I never expected.

And somehow the person I wanted most.

Lee's voice echoed through my mind again.

She's worth it.

For once, I didn't argue.

Because deep down, I knew he was right.