Mag-log inPOV: Selene Castellano
"Everything's perfect. Measuring exactly right. Strong heartbeat, good position," Dr. Ruth said.
"She's got her own opinions on positions," Selene said. "All babies do. Get used to it," Dr. Ruth said. "Is that medical advice?" Avalon asked. "That's parenting advice, free of charge," Dr. Ruth said.They sat in the car for a while. This had become their routine post-appointments. "She said 'perfect.' I just keep expecting something to go wrong," Selene said. "I walk in braced for bad news every time."
"And she says 'perfect' every time," Avalon said. "And I remain braced for the next visit." "I know," Avalon said. "Me too." She glanced at him. "You don't look braced." "I'm internally braced. I've just learned to control the outward presentation," he said. "That's your whole thing of management again." "In this context, it's helpful. You don't need to witness me in a state of anxiety. You have enough of that yourself," Avalon said. "I don't need you to manage your feelings for me." "I'm not managing them; I'm 'sequencing them'," he said."Sequencing them?"
"Meaning I experience them privately and then decide which ones are useful to communicate. The pre-appointment anxiety isn't useful, so it stays internal. The post-appointment relief is, so I express that."
She stared at him. "That is quite possibly the most Avalon thing you have ever said." "Is it bad?" Avalon asked. "It's not bad. It's just intensely you.""Is that bad?"
"No," she said. "It's just very, very you." She put the car in drive. "Sequencing feelings."
"You're going to use that against me, aren't you?" Avalon said."Absolutely."
Maya and Kofi came for dinner on Saturday. Kofi had finished the first stage of the Oakland arts center, and he radiated the satisfaction of a person who has completed something monumental and is now in the void before the next thing. "It’s an odd feeling," Kofi said. "You throw your entire being into something and when it’s done, you just stand there in the void."
"And how do you fill that?" Avalon asked. "You start the next thing," Kofi said. "But not right away. You sit in the void first. Then you know what you’ve created." "What did you create?" Selene asked. "A space where a fourteen-year-old in Oakland can walk into a room and know someone was thinking about them," Kofi said. "That’s what I created." Maya was watching him, her brow furrowed slightly. "What?" Kofi asked. "Nothing," Maya said. "You just... You say things sometimes." "Is that bad?" Kofi asked. "No," Maya said. "It's very you." Selene looked at Avalon, who looked back at her. They both silently recognized the "very you" comment and what it meant.After dinner, Maya helped Selene clean up in the kitchen while Avalon and Kofi sat at the dining table, their mutual respect having blossomed into a comfortable rapport that surprised neither of them. "Are you scared?" Maya asked quietly.
"Scared of what in particular?" Selene asked. "Everything," Maya said. "The birth, being a mother." "Yes," Selene said, the words heavy but honest. "Every day.""You don’t seem scared."
"I seem capable. There’s a difference," Selene said. Maya handed her a drying towel.
"I'm going to be her aunt. I've spent a lot of time thinking about what that means," Maya said."And?"
"And I'm going to take it very seriously. I want to be the person she calls when she can't call you."
Selene looked at her sister. "You already are. That's who you are already." Maya nodded, a faint smile on her face.At 10 pm, Maya and Kofi left. Avalon and Selene stood at the door, watching them walk down the hall, Maya’s voice bright with a story that made Kofi laugh, his arm around her. "They're good people," Selene said.
"They are," Avalon agreed. "We're good people, too," she said. "We are," he repeated. She turned and went inside. Avalon followed. "Sequencing feelings," she said, her back to him as she walked down the hallway toward the bedroom. "Stop," he said."I'm just making an observation."
"You're enjoying this."
"Very much so," she said. He walked down the hallway after her.
"It's a legitimate emotional management strategy," Avalon said. "It is absolutely that," she said. "It's very you." "You're never going to let me live that down, are you?""Probably not. No."
POV: Avalon PierceThe community center in the Mission smelled like coffee.Kevin Walsh had arranged the room himself.Just chairs in a circle, the way the symposium had been arranged, the way things were arranged when the point was conversation rather than performance.Avalon arrived at nine thirty with Selene.Kevin was already there with Evelyn, who was arranging chairs.She looked at Selene when they walked in.“Thirty two weeks,” Evelyn said.“Yes,” Selene said.“You should be resting,” Evelyn said.“After today,” Selene said.Evelyn looked at her for a moment.People arrived in ones and twos.Gloria Reyes came with her mother.Esperanza Reyes was smaller than Avalon expected. Seventy nine years old woman with white hair and the quality of someone who had survived things.She walked in and looked at the chairs, didn’t say anything and just sat down.Patricia Ruiz came alone.She sat across the circle from Esperanza.They had never met and both didn't know they were connected. Ed
POV: Selene CastellanoPatricia Ruiz arrived at the foundation office at two PM.“My father’s name was Gerald Hart,” she said. “He changed it to Gerald Ruiz in 1984. I’ve known my whole life.”“What did you know about what he did?” Selene asked.“He told me in 2001,” Patricia said. “He was sick and he thought he was dying. He wasn’t, as it turned out that he lived another eighteen years.” She looked at her hands. “He told me about the bonds. The neighborhoods. The families.” She paused. “He cried. I’d never seen my father cry before.”“What did you do with it?” Avalon asked.“I spent ten years trying to figure out what to do with it,” she said. “I was on the city council by then. I tried to push through funding for the affected neighbourhoods. It got blocked twice. I changed tactics, tried community development grants and got blocked again.” She looked at them. “Everything I tried got stopped by people who had interests in keeping those neighbourhoods exactly as they were.”“Henderson
POV: Avalon PierceKevin Walsh answered at seven thirty.“I need to ask Gloria Reyes’s mother something,” Avalon said. “Through you.”“Tell me,” Kevin said.Avalon told him about Edward Pierce.Kevin was quiet for a long moment.“Her name is Esperanza,” Kevin said. “Esperanza Reyes. She’s seventy nine years old and she’s been waiting forty five years for someone to say it was wrong.”“Will she hear it from him?” Avalon asked.“Let me call her,” Kevin said. “Give me twenty minutes.”He called back in fifteen.“She said yes,” Kevin said. “She said ‘tell him I’ve been waiting’. Tell him I have things to say too.”“That’s fair,” Avalon said.“She wants Gloria there,” Kevin said. “And she wants it to be somewhere she chooses. Not his house or a federal building. ”“Where?” Avalon asked.“The community center where the program operates,” Kevin said. “In the Mission.” A pause. “She said if he wants to say something real he can say it in the neighborhood he helped destroy.”Avalon looked at
POV: Selene CastellanoEdward looked at his hands."It started as a business decision," Edward said. "That's how these things always start." He looked up. "Richard and I and two other men. We identified neighbourhoods where property values were suppressed. We found a financial mechanism to redirect development funding away from those areas. We called it strategic investment allocation.""You called it something that didn't sound like what it was," Avalon said."Yes," Edward said. "That's what we did.""Did Nene know?" Avalon said.Edward was quiet for a moment."She found out in 1981," he said. "She confronted Richard and he told her it was done. That it was already done and couldn't be undone and the best thing was to move forward.""Did she believe him?" Selene asked."She believed that it couldn't be undone," Edward said. "She never believed it was right." He looked at Avalon. "She stopped speaking to me in 1982. Forty years of silence and I understood why." He paused. "I also agre
POV: Avalon PierceHe knew the name from a photograph.Nene's desk. It was a black and white photograph in a small silver frame that had sat in the same spot for as long as he could remember. Two men standing outside a building, young, suits that said the sixties clearly, one of them his grandfather Richard Pierce, the other one—"Edward Pierce," he said."Yes," Margaret said. "Do you know him?""The photograph," he said to Selene. "On Nene's desk. The one I always thought was just a family photograph.""I remember it," Selene said. "The one with two men outside a building.""The other man was Edward Pierce," he said. "Richard's brother and Nene's brother-in-law." He looked at the wall. "He was at every family gathering until I was about six or seven. Then he just—wasn't.""What happened to him?" Selene asked."Nobody ever said," he said. "I stopped asking eventually. The way children stop asking about things that adults don't answer.""He's eighty-one years old," Margaret said throu
POV: Maya CastellanoThe man had left by the time Selene and Avalon arrived.Kofi was standing at the kitchen window when they walked in, his back to the room.Maya was on the couch.She looked at Selene."Tell me what's happening," she said."Let Kofi tell you," Selene said. "All of it."Kofi turned around.He looked at Selene first. Then Avalon. Then Maya."Sit down," Maya said to him. "Please."He sat across from her."How long have you known Thomas Reeves?" Avalon asked.Kofi looked at him."Since before the coffee shop," he said.The room went very quiet."What does that mean?" Maya said. Her voice was careful. "Thomas approached me eight months before the coffee shop," Kofi said. "He knew my work. He'd followed the school project in Accra. He contacted me through a mutual connection and offered me three commissions. Good ones. The kind that don't come to someone at my stage without a reason.""The reason being," Avalon said."He wanted someone he could use," Kofi said. "Not per
POV: Avalon PierceShe was already home when he got there.Standing at the kitchen counter with her coat still on, holding her phone like she’d just finished a call.He looked at her face.“Tell me,” he said.She told him about Dr. Ruth and the call from Dr. Okafor.When she finished the kitchen wa
POV: Selene CastellanoShe found the envelope on the kitchen counter at seven AM.Avalon had already left for Nexus. His coffee cup was in the sink, his jacket was gone and the apartment was quiet.The envelope had her name on it.She opened it and inside was a single photograph.The one from the h
POV: Selene CastellanoHis name was Kevin Walsh.Not the same Kevin Walsh who had written four pages after the symposium. This was a different person with the same name.This Kevin Walsh ran a youth housing program on the west side and he had the quality of someone who had been let down by enough p
POV: Selene CastellanoThe call came on a Monday morning.Maria Chap.Selene answered expecting a routine update on the infrastructure fund implementation. Maria had been the foundation’s most engaged community partner. Reliable and Precise. She is the kind of person who sends follow-up emails befo







