The Perks of Opening Up

I did not understand Xavier. What did he mean? Was he talking about the clam chowder? Or about me showing up at his college?He never made himself clear.Mom used to tease him for being simple-minded and straightforward. She thought those traits made me compatible with Xavier, who was far more shrewd and clever.Was that really what she meant?He never explained himself completely, and I always had to guess what he was trying to say.Our relationship seemed to return to normal after that, but Reyna's invisible presence kept growing.Whenever her data analysis ran into problems, he would rush to the college, even in the middle of the night. When she wanted to move out of the dorm, he was the one who searched for an apartment. When she came down with a cold, he went out to buy medicine for her.He always had a reason. It always sounded noble and completely justified.I kept getting upset over it. I cried, shouted, and threw hurt-filled tantrums. Then Xavier would find a new way t

The old me would have burst into tears on the spot and demanded that Xavier explain himself.But today? Other than feeling pretty pissed off by his comment about my intelligence, all I could think about was that diner Morgan had mentioned!Xavier was right after all. Opening yourself up to new people really did have its perks. Suddenly, everything felt a lot less triggering.My silence made Xavier frown, but before he could say anything, Rayna spoke up. "Professor, aren't we supposed to be heading to the lab? We might run out of time."Xavier nodded. "Yeah. You're right. Let's go."He set the cake on the table and turned to me. "It's peak season at work, Maddie. You should be trying to lighten my burden, not add to it."He and Rayna left in a hurry.Morgan came downstairs with his bag in hand. "Um, I'm ready now!"His voice snapped me out of my daze. I hurried to wash up, then headed out to breakfast with him, the whole incident already forgotten.…For the rest of the month,

Xavier released me. The hurt in his eyes gave way to shock.Morgan walked into the house wearing a perfectly tailored suit. A small white rose peeked from his breast pocket. He looked effortlessly gallant and charming.The sight of Xavier clearly caught him off guard, though he quickly recovered with a gentlemanly smile. "Ah, Professor Bates! What a coincidence!"Xavier went pale. His voice seemed to catch in his throat. "You?! You're the Morgan she was talking about?!"My eyes darted between them, completely nonplussed. "Uh... do you two know each other?"Morgan stepped over to me, then tilted his head as he looked at me."Didn't I mention that? Professor Bates is my mentor," he replied, his tone as casual as if he were commenting on the weather.I searched my memory. He had told me he was a postgraduate student. He had also mentioned that his mentor was a rather renowned researcher. But I didn't remember him ever mentioning his name.Maybe he had, and I had simply forgotten.

"Please stop coming to campus to look for him, okay? It's pretty emasculating for him. Everyone in our program has been saying you're not a very understanding wife. All you seem to do is spend money on your own indulgences. I'm telling you this for your own good."Reyna left me alone after that. I stood there, watching the students come and go, and suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to cry.So I did. I wandered across the street from the college and ended up sobbing beneath a streetlamp.By the time I finished crying and returned home, Xavier still had not come back. I washed my face, put on a facial mask, ordered something scrumptious for delivery, watched two episodes of a drama series, and then went to bed alone.He came home the next day without offering any explanation. I did not ask about it or comment.By then, I had gradually stopped throwing fits. There was no point. He simply came and went as he pleased.I honestly thought no one had seen me that winter. I had no idea h

Now? I just didn't care anymore."I called my department head. Reyna is being transferred off my team and onto someone else's. So this is good, right? We can still be—""What, together?" I interjected. "Xavier, are you just worried that I don't want you anymore?"I watched him visibly reel and spoke calmly. "You're the one who doesn't want me anymore. Ever since we got together, I've spent countless birthdays alone. I ate alone. I cried alone."You always told me to be more understanding or stop being so 'small-hearted.' You told me to go explore the world and find myself."I did exactly that, and now you're upset. I started wondering how I could ease your pain. Maybe the only way is for me to disappear from your life. I just don't know, Xavier."His lips trembled. "I'm not unhappy when I'm with you! I love you! I've always loved you!"The three words I had always wanted to hear finally came."But Maddie, do you still love me?" His voice was so hoarse I could barely hear it.I