LOGINHe’s the sweetheart of St. James. I’m just the nerd that no one notices. Jordan Arthur stands for everything I hate – his perfect smile, his wavy brown hair, the way the room hums with intensity the second he walks in. And worst of all? He doesn’t even know I exist. But after his cheating girlfriend forces us into each other's lives, I realize the boy every student of St. James and St. John fawns over is fighting his own demons and holding back secrets. He’s scared. He’s sad. He’s alone. Jordan is supposed to like girls. At least, that’s what everyone believes, including him. But the way his eyes rake through me feels otherwise. Inside his cozy mansion, I am the air that he cannot get enough of. But outside, I am Nobody. The nerd he doesn’t associate with. The one his friends laugh at. No one can know. No one must know. But how long can something this intense survive in the dark before it ends us both?
View MoreIt was dark. We were seated around a table at the bar, a stone’s throw from our campus, our faces barely visible. It was a good day, and we were as high as the clouds.
“Heather,” my friend, James said, snapping his fingers to a game we’d been playing for a while now. “She’s the hottest girl in school. Everyone knows that. Right, Marcus?”
"Right," I said, used to agreeing with whatever James said. I wrapped my hands around my glass and took a long swig. The alcohol burned my throat, travelling down until I felt its heat pool at the pit of my stomach.
It pressed hard on my bladder, threatening to burst through right then.
“I’ll be back,” I muttered, getting on my feet. “Toilet.”
The group barely realized I'd left. I got it. Heather was hot. Every man in St. John's desperately wanted to be in her good books. But to me, Heather was just… I don’t know… a regular woman.
The queue to the bathroom was long. I didn’t think my bladder could wait for the crowd gathered out front. Taking a detour, I took the back door out of the bar. That was when I heard it.
I would recognize that voice anywhere.
"You sucked his dick, too?” He was saying, with the tone of someone who didn't care much. Come on! Tell me, Heather."
"You've got to be kidding me!" Heather responded breathily. Talk about the devil. "It was a mistake, Jordan. And I'm sorry for that. But can you really blame me? You have a reputation in St. James.”
St. James was our sister school. While St. John took the courses in arts and humanities, St. James took the sciences and engineering courses. Heather and Jordan were the king and queen of both campuses.
I should have gone back inside to my friends. This was none of my business. Yet, I moved into the dark, following the sound of their voice, and hoping the stones crunching underneath my feet weren’t too loud.
"You knew that before you decided to date me,” Jordan countered, stupidly by the way. Who the hell said that to his girlfriend? Well, what would I know? I’d never dated anyone.
"And you never see me fucking a professor,” he continued. “That was really low, Heather. Even for you."
“He came on to me. What was I supposed to do?”
“Close your fucking legs?” It sounded like a tired suggestion. “Heather, I came here to party with my friends, but you’re making that hard to do. Can you just… get out of my way or something?”
“Will you pick up my calls or text me back?”
“I’ll do whatever the hell I want to do.”
I didn’t know he’d moved. I heard him too late. It all happened in the blink of an eye. One minute, he still sounded quite a distance from me, and the next, he was right in front of me.
I swallowed as Jordan Arthur easily towered over me, his 6 ft - self blocking the night's air. For a minute, it felt like the earth had run out of oxygen. He made me nervous.
So nervous.
“Get your earful?” He was mad.
But despite that, the only thing I could focus on was his voice. Did people sound that way?
“I…I was just…”
"Of course," he barked out a laugh. "You want a piece out of her, too? She's there. Have at it. After all, she's great in bed."
Heather heard that, and she walked out from the shadows. She didn’t look like someone who was just apologizing. “What the hell is wrong with you, Jordan? I told you I was sorry. And I definitely do not go for losers and nerds.”
“That Professor was a loser too,” Jordan responded without taking his gaze off me. “Don’t you think that kind of negates your words?”
“Jordan….”
“I don’t even know why I bother with you.”
“Jordan!”
“Have at her!” His shoulders hit mine as he walked past, and I staggered, pushed a few feet backwards. My glasses skidded to the ground just as my knee gave way, and I took in my first shaky breath since Jordan saw me.
He had no idea who I was, but I knew him. Everyone knew him. The smartest kid in St. James’ medical school. The hottest playboy and the rich basketball player.
I was still on the floor, trying to search for my glasses, when the skidding of tyres suddenly echoed in the parking lot. The driver had lost control and was heading towards me. I tried to move fast. I needed to reach for my glasses.
“What the fuck!” Jordan yelled from somewhere behind me, “Get out of there! Leave!”
It was the last thing I heard before the car got too close, hitting my side, before my lost glasses broke under the tyres.
Before the world turned black.
***
The next time I opened my eyes, I was staring straight at James, who was looking down at me like he was studying the evolution of man.
“Man, Marcus!” he sighed, holding on to the bars around the bed. “God, you scared me. When I saw you on the ground… God!”
“What happened?” I whispered, trying to sit up. A sharp pain jolted up my body so suddenly that I dropped back into the bed.
“Be careful,” James murmured. “The doctor said you should try not to move around till you’re at least healed. But what the fuck were you doing out in the parking lot? You were supposed to be with us. We were searching for you after the game and…”
I remembered then. The accident. My glasses.
I reached for it out of habit, patting the nightstand next to the bed. James shook his head. "It was destroyed in the accident. I'm just grateful that nothing happened to you."
“What about him?” I really needed water.
“Who?” James narrowed his gaze.
“There was someone…”
“Heather? Of course, she’s in another hospital. Jordan has been going out of his mind trying to ensure she’s fine. She took the brunt of the accident.”
That made no sense.
"I saw her,” James continued, like he could see the confusion in my eyes. “She was lying on the floor, and the paramedics were all around her."
“The car didn’t even go in her direction.”
“Are you certain?”
I was, but it didn’t matter. I sat up slowly. “How long have I been out for?”
“A couple of hours. It’s almost evening.”
“Did … did anyone come for me?”
James scrunched his face in a little frown. “No. Just me and the rest of the group. You do not have other friends, remember?”
"Right," I muttered, lying back on the bed. Why the hell did I think Jordan of all people would come see me at the hospital?
I couldn’t stop looking at her picture. Jane. She had so much life in her. I wanted to give her the world. I wanted to give her as much happiness as she wanted. She had hopes. Dreams. And then, now, suddenly, it was all gone.The sharpness in my chest returned since I dropped Marcus off. I didn’t know what to do with it. I was going to return home to drink when my friends called and insisted we got pizza. They heard about her death on the news. This was their way of cheering me up. Would I be a bad friend if I told them I really wanted to be alone tonight?I was stalling by the counter, ordering things I knew I wouldn’t eat. I had no appetite, and all I wanted to do was…It wasn’t that bad t admit. I wanted to talk to Marcus. It was the only sane thing I did today. Talk to someone I didn’t even know. How sad had my life become?And he hadn’t responded to my text. I shouldn’t have sent that message. It made me look pathetic. Dumb. Of course, it was a one-time thing. We weren’t friend
For the first few minutes, I thought I had to be dreaming. No. Scratch that. I was so certain I was dreaming. Even before I clicked the text open, for some reason, I knew who it was.It was there at the back of my mind, scratching like a cat that wanted to be let in. Only that this time, it was a stray that wasn’t meant to come in. I knew it could hurt me. I knew what getting my hopes high could do to me. Yet, I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t stop my heart from lurching almost painfully when I opened the message.I swallowed, my eyes reading the words greedily at first, and then slowly the second time, careful not to miss anything.It was impossible to stop the chuckle from leaving my lips. Jordan was mourning, yet he still had it in him to throw jokes around. After you all but ran out of my car…or more like hopped out with the crutches and all… I saw someone else with crutches almost immediately. Of course, he was nothing like you, but that’s beside the point. The crutches were custo
“Shit, Anna, I’m…”“Hmmmm.” She was sitting on my bed in my dorm room, her arms folded across her chest. “8 pm. Perfect time for lunch, don’t you think?”"I was going to call you, I promise, but I just…"“Ran out of time? Lost track of the time?”“Anna…”She slid out of the bed and walked over to me. "Chill, Marcus. I already ate like hours ago. I was just worried. I tried calling repeatedly, but it went to voicemail, and I didn't know what to…." Her voice trailed off when she saw the look on my face. “Let me guess. You put your phone on DND.”“I was painting, and I….Shit. I’m a horrible friend. I’m sorry.”“It’s just unlike you to do things like this,” she said, angling her head. “Where were you?”“The faculty,” I said without thinking. “I had to get ahead on my assignments. You know how it can get.”“We literally just finished exams, Marcus. Ever heard of something called rest? You earned it. Your assignments for our third year are going nowhere. I don’t even know why your Professo
I found his sister's room down the hall, and for the first few minutes, I was unable to go in. She was dead, and I was going to use her art supplies. It didn't feel right. Standing by the door, it was easy to assume that the youngest Arthur was loved. Every inch of the room was covered in a shade of lilac, from the sheets to the blinds, and the cute rug covering the centre of the room.She must have been ill for a while, but Jordan hadn't changed a thing. Unconsciously, I looked back into the hallway. He must have fallen asleep by now. I could imagine it. His brown hair scratching the sheets of the pillows, and the small frown I had a feeling creased his face each time he was asleep.No, Marcus. You can’t do that. You can’t.So, I did the only thing I had power over. I crossed the threshold and hopped into the room with my crutches. It wasn’t hard to find her art supplies, nestled in an adjoining room. She must have been working on something when she discovered she was ill.There was
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