Chapter 8 'Celia' : After Midnight

I should have left.

The sensible thing would have been to finish my tea, say goodnight, and return to my room.

But I stayed instead, 

Maybe because the kitchen felt different from the rest of the mansion.

Or maybe because Adrian felt different tonight.

I wasn't sure which possibility unsettled me more.

The silence stretched between us.

It wasn't awkward or comfortable, 

Just... strange.

The kind of silence that made me aware of every little thing.

The ticking clock above the stove, 

The warmth of the teacup in my hands, 

The way Adrian's sleeves were rolled to his elbows, 

The way his dark hair had fallen slightly out of place.

I quickly looked away.

What was wrong with me?

"You seem surprised."

His voice startled me.

I blinked.

"What?"

"That I defended you today."

Straight to the point.

Of course, he would be.

I stared into my tea.

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to."

The honesty of the observation caught me off guard.

For a moment, neither of us spoke.

Then I sighed.

"Maybe I was."

His gaze remained steady.

"Why?"

The answer seemed obvious.

Because you hate me.

Because you think I'm a liar.

Because you've spent most of my time here treating me like a business obligation.

But I couldn't say any of that.

Not without sounding bitter or sounding hurt. 

And I refused to give him that spotlight. 

So instead, I settled for the truth.

"Because you usually don't."

Something flickered across his expression.

Gone almost immediately.

Yet I had seen it.

Guilt.....Again.

The realization made my stomach tighten.

Adrian Lancaster wasn't a man who apologized easily.

He wasn't a man who admitted mistakes.

Yet lately, I kept catching glimpses of something that looked suspiciously like regret.

The thought felt dangerous.

So I pushed it away.

"You think I should have defended you before?"

The question landed heavily between us.

I looked up.

His expression was unreadable.

But his eyes weren't.

For the first time, they looked genuinely serious.

Not cold.

Serious.

Like he actually wanted an answer.

My pulse quickened.

This was dangerous territory.

One wrong sentence and the fragile peace between us would disappear.

I should have lied.

I should have changed the subject.

Instead, I heard myself say,

"I think you already decided who I was before you met me."

The words hung in the air.

Neither of us moved.

The silence that followed felt endless.

Then Adrian lowered his gaze.

And somehow that hurt more than if he had argued.

Because he wasn't denying it.

The kitchen suddenly felt much smaller.

The walls were closing in, 

The air was becoming heavier, 

Finally, he spoke.

"Maybe."

One word.

Quiet and honest. 

My heart stumbled.

I hadn't expected that.

I certainly hadn't expected him to admit it.

"I heard one version of the story," he continued.

His voice remained calm.

"I believed it."

A laugh escaped me before I could stop it.

Not because anything was funny.

Because the situation was.

Of course, he believed it.

Everyone had.

The Rowans, 

The Lancasters, 

The media, 

The entire city.

Why would Adrian be any different?

"I suppose that makes sense."

His eyes narrowed slightly.

"You don't sound angry."

I looked down at my tea.

The surface had gone still.

Just like me.

"No."

"Why not?"

The question surprised me.

I thought about it.

Really thought about it.

Then smiled faintly.

"Because being angry takes energy."

There was a bit of Silence.

Then I continued.

"And I've spent most of my life being disappointed."

The words slipped out before I could stop them.

Immediately, I regretted them.

I wasn't supposed to say things like that.

Not to him.

Not to anyone.

Vulnerability had never done me any favors.

For a moment, Adrian said nothing.

Then. .. 

"Your family."

I stiffened.

The words weren't a question.

Yet somehow they felt like one.

I should have shut the conversation down.

I should have smiled politely and changed the subject.

Instead, I found myself staring at the steam rising from my cup.

"They love Sienna."

The answer came quietly.

Honest.

Painfully honest.

Adrian remained silent.

Just waiting and listening

That alone was enough to keep me talking.

"She's always been the favorite."

I laughed softly.

Without humor.

"The pretty one."

"The charming one."

"The precious one."

"And you?"

The question caught me off guard.

I stared at him.

For a moment, I couldn't answer.

Because nobody had ever asked before.

Not really.

Not in a way that mattered.

Finally, I smiled.

Small.

Sad.

"I was useful."

Something shifted in Adrian's expression.

A tightening of his jaw.

A hardness around his eyes.

I wasn't sure why.

The answer seemed obvious.

Useful children didn't require affection.

Useful children worked.

Obeyed.

Sacrificed.

That was simply how things were.

Or at least how they had always been for me.

The silence stretched.

Then Adrian leaned back slightly.

His gaze never left mine.

"You don't seem like someone who fights for attention."

The comment surprised me.

I laughed softly.

"No."

For some reason, he seemed troubled by that answer.

His fingers tapped once against the coffee mug.

Then stopped.

Like he'd caught himself.

I followed the movement unconsciously.

At the same moment, he reached for the sugar bowl.

So did I.

Our hands collided.

The contact lasted less than a second.

Barely anything.

A simple accident.

Yet the moment our skin touched, my entire body froze.

Heat shot up my arm.

Ridiculous.

Absolutely ridiculous.

I jerked my hand back immediately.

"So-sorry."

The apology came too quickly.

Too breathlessly.

Embarrassment flooded me.

Across the counter, Adrian had gone completely still.

His gaze remained fixed on me.

With much more intensity

The air in the kitchen seemed to change.

Every sound disappeared.

The ticking clock.

The humming refrigerator.

Everything.

There was only silence.

And the sudden awareness of how close we were.

I looked away first.

Of course I did.

My heart was beating entirely too fast.

Neither of us acknowledged it.

Which somehow made it worse.

Much worse.

The silence returned.

A bit different now.

And even dangerous, 

I hated it.

And somehow didn't want it to end.

Then Adrian spoke.

His voice is quieter than before.

"You're not what I expected."

I froze.

Slowly, I looked up.

His gaze was still on me.

Steady and unwavering.

The sincerity in it caught me off guard.

I attempted a smile.

"That's usually not a compliment."

His mouth twitched.

Almost a smile.

Almost.

"I didn't mean it as one."

I blinked.

"Then what did you mean?"

For a moment, he didn't answer.

The silence stretched.

Long enough for my pulse to start racing again.

Then Adrian looked at me.

Really looked at me.

And said,

"I don't know yet."

My breath caught.

I was in a state where my brain and body were lacking communication for a moment.

The words shouldn't have affected me.

Yet they did.

Because they felt honest.

They felt real.

Because for the first time since our marriage began, Adrian Lancaster sounded genuinely uncertain about me.

And uncertainty was dangerous.

Certainty had kept us apart.

Uncertainty made people curious.

Curiosity made them pay attention.

I wasn't sure which outcome scared me more.

The clock struck one.

The sound echoed through the kitchen.

Suddenly aware of the time, I pushed my chair back.

"I should go."

Adrian didn't stop me.

At least not immediately.

I carried my cup to the sink.

Placed it carefully beside his.

Then turned toward the door.

My hand had barely reached the frame when his voice stopped me.

"Celia."

The sound of my name in his voice sent an unexpected shiver down my spine.

Slowly, I turned around.

"What?"

For a second, he looked almost hesitant.

The sight was so unusual that I wondered if I had imagined it.

Adrian Lancaster never hesitated.

Not once in his life. 

Yet tonight he seemed unsure.

Like a man standing at the edge of something unfamiliar.

His gaze held mine.

And I'm positive I counted up to 3 seconds. 

Then he asked quietly,

"Why did you agree to marry me?"

Everything inside me stopped.

The kitchen disappeared.

The mansion disappeared.

Even the passing months seemed to disappear.

There was only that question.

And the truth behind it.

A truth I had spent nearly a year trying to forget.

Because some wounds never really heal.

They learned how to hide.

I stared at him.

And for the first time since our marriage began.. 

I didn't know how to answer.