LOGINSydney
“Okay, rule number one,” Maeve said over the noise in the cafeteria. “Don’t challenge Tyler Sinclair in algebra.” I tried my best not to look around. "Why? He was wrong.” Maeve picked up a food tray and stopped in front of me. "I'm not blind, Sydney. And no one else in that class was. We all saw it.” I just blinked. “You should have waited for Mrs. Holloway to correct him." She added. An uproar broke out from one corner of the room, and my eyes moved before I could stop them. My gaze landed on Tyler. He was with his basketball teammates, jerseys on, waiting for practice after lunch. And he was staring. That smirk was back. "And the fact that he's friends with your sister doesn't give you that liberty. You know that, right?” ‘But I was only trying to prove a point.’ I almost said. Instead, I turned to the mini burger and a few sprinkles of fries on my tray as I followed Maeve towards a table. “What happens when he’s challenged?” I asked quietly. Maeve sat across from me and shrugged. “On the court? They get trashed. But in class…this is the first time he’s ever been wrong.” That made my heart skip. I was just about to take my seat when someone bumped into me from behind as they passed by. “Oh my God, I’m sorry,” I blurted. But the boy didn’t even look back. Then I sat down, aiming to hurry out of school immediately after the last bell. Just in case. At first, everything was normal. I'd just picked up my burger while Maeve was already halfway through hers, scrolling on her phone. Then I felt it—cold and liquid beneath me. I frowned and looked down on the bench. ‘No!’ “What's wrong?" Maeve asked, looking up and noticing the distress on my face. I stood. A medium-sized ketchup sachet slid off the bench. ‘Shit.’ My stomach dropped. I lifted my head, my eyes straying across the cafeteria. Tyler was watching me. Someone laughed. “Yo, look." The sound spread before I completely grasped what was going on. Tyler's lips curled. “Uh-oh." He called. “Someone get her a jacket." Laughter exploded through the cafeteria. Even people who hadn’t been paying attention turned to look. My whole body trembled, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him. He wasn't laughing, just staring, like he was waiting for my next "smart move”. But I had nothing left in my body, safe for the extra layers of skin I suddenly felt too aware of. Tears pricked my eyelids and I wished I could melt away. "Syd, it's okay. Keep it together.” Maeve said over the laughter in the room. "It's just some ketchup. It's not that—" I bolted. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me out of the cafeteria. "Hey, hey, slow down!” Tyler called after me. "Earthquake!” The laughter followed me into the empty hallway as I walked towards the bathroom. Tears burned my eyes. “Syd!" I heard Maeve yell. But I didn't stop. I couldn't, not with the ketchup smeared on my black jeans. Not with my chest burning. Tyler had struck again, and this time he'd made the entire school laugh—well not everyone, but they'd laughed. Not just his teammates this time. I ran into the bathroom and slammed the door behind me, pressing my hand against the sink as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. ‘Don’t cry, Sydney. Don't cry. You've been through worse.’ I shut my eyes, trying to shut out the laughter from my mind. It all felt like I was back in Newston. Only worse. The door flew open as I exhaled, and Maeve appeared, her backpack slung over her shoulder. “Syd, oh my God.” She shut the door quickly and rushed to where I was, placing her hand gently on my shoulder. “Are you okay?" I scoffed bitterly. “There's ketchup on my butt. What do you think?" “Oh God.” She dropped her bag and dug through it. “Tyler is such an ass. Ketchup on your chair? All for what?” She pulled out baby wipes. “He wasn’t even always like this.” “Earthquake? Really?” She muttered. I leaned further as she began to carefully wipe away the ketchup. “Well maybe I look like some fat toy to him. Something easy to squeeze.” "No, don't say that, Syd.” "Maybe a joke then. He says it all the time and everyone seems to find it funny." My throat tightened as I stared at my reflection. “Why do I have to be me? Why do I have to be the other girl? The fat one, the lest attractive one. The joke.” “Syd." Maeve stood close to me. “You know that's not true. Tyler is just being mean because he can, because he wants to. No one sees you as a joke." “You mean you and Brooklyn?" Maeve brushed away my words. “I'm sure Tyler is actually angry that you challenged him in class. That's a good thing, isn't it? At least now he knows what it feels like to feel like a fool." That should have comforted me. But it didn't. It could never. Tyler had still won and he was going to keep winning unless I woke up as a completely different person. I'd only proved that I was some fat nerd, and Tyler had proved that I could never make him feel bad. I was the one crying in a bathroom again. “There's no point, Maeve." I said. “Tyler will always win. And I'll just be…Sydney, Brooklyn's forgotten sister.” “Forgotten?" Maeve threw a hand over my shoulders. “No. You are Sydney Walker. A girl too good for this goddamn school.” The door swung open, and we both turned. Brooklyn walked in, pom-poms in hand. "Sydney, oh jeez. I heard. What happened?” "Your sick friend. That's what happened.” Maeve’s Asian-American ass snapped, but Brooklyn ignored her and rushed to me. “It's okay. I'm fine." I said, forcing a smile. "Some girls said you insulted him in class. You shouldn't have done that.” I stared at her. "You believe that?” Brooklyn paused as if realizing what she'd done wrong. But then she continued. "When I told you to say something back to him I didn't mean like that.” "So what did you mean?” Maeve snapped again, taking the words right out of my mouth. I wasn't going to say it anyway. Brooklyn eyed Maeve and turned back to me. “You drew a war line Sydney." She said quietly. “And I’m not sure I want to get caught up in a war between you and Tyler."TylerScrolling through the team’s group chat or bouncing a basketball against the wall on my back, or even trying to perfectly memorize how many kinds of fungus there are, should have been enough to keep my head straight.Because I mean, I’d somehow gone from getting mad at myself for making Sydney Walker cry again…To wanting to walk back into Coach’s office and flip his god-damned table.“I tried to cover for you, but Coach wasn’t having any of it.” Micheal explained when I hopped into his car after leaving Coach’s office.His face looking like he’d been punched once, then left to figure out why.“You good?” I asked automatically.He didn’t even look at me. “Brooklyn.”“Ouch.”“Yeah,” he said flatly, reversing out of the parking lot. “She’ll come around.”I could hear the uncertainty in his voice, and I wasn’t going to nurse it. Because whatever goes on between them usually burned out in a day or two.It’d be useless taking the conversation further from there.So I just sat there,
BrooklynThe gym doors slammed shut behind me, the sound echoing loudly off the walls.But I didn’t stop walking.A second later, I heard the door push open again, another pair of legs following mine across the polished floor. “Brooklyn.”I ignored him. “Brooklyn, stop.”“No,” my voice came out flat.“Come on. You’ve been doing this all day.” “I am fine, Micheal.” I reached the locker room doors. But I already knew he wouldn’t stop until he caught up with me.He always did.“You’ve said that like twenty times already.” His footsteps slowed behind me. “But you won’t even look at me when you say it.”That did it.I spun around before I could stop myself.“I said I’m fine!” I snapped, my voice bouncing loudly off the gym walls. “Can’t you just let it go for once?”Silence. Ringing loudly in my ears.“Oh…” Micheal’s shoulders dropped almost immediately. That thing I knew all too well, flashing across his face.Shock first. Then something softer.Disappointment.I tucked a loose strand
Tyler “You’re just going to talk to her. Explain everything. Tell her the truth. Just…don’t be an asshole, Tyler.” That was me. Thirty-six minutes past two that Monday morning, standing in front of my bathroom mirror after those stupid pills finally wore off. Because honestly, that was the only thing that kept me sane those four days between Monday. Believe me, I didn’t plan to go completely mute on Sydney. But what exactly was I supposed to do when the entire school was still talking shit about the party and I’d done absolutely nothing to stop it? I’d just watched everything happen. Ignored it like a complete coward. It wasn’t like I didn’t want to text her. But sending a text in the middle of all that noise felt…wrong. I wanted to see her. Talk to her. Explain the parts she couldn’t see. Tell her what I desperately wanted Sydney Walker to know. ‘Should have gone to her house, Tyler,’ my mind whispered mercilessly. ‘Mom wasn’t home for almost the entire week.’
Sydney I turned, trying to step around him again. But he lifted his arms—instinctively. Not to touch me. Just enough to stop me from walking away from him. “Sydney…” I held his gaze for one second again before stepping back, wrapping my arms tightly around myself. “I’m tired, Tyler.” “I know.” “No. Stop saying that.” The words escaped before I could stop them. “You have no idea.” He didn’t argue. He just stared back at me. And God, I hated the look on his face. If only guilt could erase the past four days, maybe I’d have forgiven him already. Instead, he took one careful step toward me. I stayed where I was. “I’m sorry, Sydney.” I looked away. “Sorry for what?” My voice was smaller than I wanted. “For encouraging them while they tore me apart?” “That’s not fair.” He said. “I didn’t even say anything.” “Exactly!” My eyes snapped to his. I scoffed bitterly. “Exactly, Tyler. You never say anything. Don’t you see that that’s the problem? He didn’t res
SydneyThe bell for the second half of class rang while I was seeing how long I could keep a giant covalent structure going before I ran out of space on the page.And turns out…it takes a surprisingly long time.Which was great, by the way. Because the alternative was thinking about the table full of jocks across from me in the cafeteria.The way Brooklyn had looked away just when I thought she’d say something different. That stupid smile on Tracy’s face. The way the others had just gone quiet when she talked, like some silent approval no one wanted to admit out loud.Then she’d flipped her hair when she said she wasn’t sure I had a virus.That part stung. I won’t lie.Because what the hell did she mean by that?I swallowed, shutting out the snorts that came after. And then there was Tyler.Gone frozen again right after telling Tracy to stop.Like why couldn’t he just say something when it actually mattered?Or had he actually been drunk, but my heart didn’t want to accept it?God!
SydneyI was stuck with two options.Either hold my breath, walk over to a table directly opposite half the basketball team and the cheer squad, and spend forty-five minutes pretending not to hear them laughing like they owned the entire world…Or walk over to the sweet lunch lady, flash her a smile, ask her if I could throw away perfectly good food, then go hunt down Maeve and potentially find out who Carrie and Isabel were.Monday really was determined to outdo itself.My phone buzzed. And I glanced down at it on the tray beside one sad looking lettuce.“Alive?” Maeve’s text read.And as much as I wanted to send a full-blown distress call, I really didn’t want to interrupt whatever she was doing.Besides, the longer I stood there, the more I felt like my knees were going to give out.So I fixed my eyes on the empty table, ignored the murmurs drifting around the cafeteria, and walked.And the second I reached it, I dropped onto the bench.“Hey, easy.” Someone said behind me, accompan
Tyler“Your dad won’t be able to make it tonight.” Mom said that morning, a glass of wine balanced between her fingers. “He had an emer—”“Emergency at work.” I finished for her. “Cargo problem. Has to be in Miami by midnight. The world ends if he isn’t there.”“Tyler.”I looked at her for the firs
Sydney If I thought Monday was noisy and crowded with all the buzz going on about the game… I was wrong. Tuesday was worse. “Bringing that trophy home!” someone yelled from behind me, purple paint smeared across half his face like he’d lost a fight with a paint bucket. “Woop! Woop! Lakevie
Sydney“You need to leave.” His voice echoed in my head, softer this time.But somehow, that did it.A strange ache spread through my chest, replacing the panic completely.He really didn’t want me there. Didn’t want to look at me.He probably hated me even more for what I’d made him go through.So
Sydney“Sydney.”I froze. My hand stayed pressed against the gym door as my heart leapt straight into my mouth, my eyes widening before I could stop them.Because Tyler had just called my name.‘Run away.’ Something mocked me in my head, and I swear I almost listened.Just leave and pretend I hadn







