LOGINTylerScrolling through the team’s group chat or bouncing a basketball against the wall on my back, or even trying to perfectly memorize how many kinds of fungus there are, should have been enough to keep my head straight.Because I mean, I’d somehow gone from getting mad at myself for making Sydney Walker cry again…To wanting to walk back into Coach’s office and flip his god-damned table.“I tried to cover for you, but Coach wasn’t having any of it.” Micheal explained when I hopped into his car after leaving Coach’s office.His face looking like he’d been punched once, then left to figure out why.“You good?” I asked automatically.He didn’t even look at me. “Brooklyn.”“Ouch.”“Yeah,” he said flatly, reversing out of the parking lot. “She’ll come around.”I could hear the uncertainty in his voice, and I wasn’t going to nurse it. Because whatever goes on between them usually burned out in a day or two.It’d be useless taking the conversation further from there.So I just sat there,
BrooklynThe gym doors slammed shut behind me, the sound echoing loudly off the walls.But I didn’t stop walking.A second later, I heard the door push open again, another pair of legs following mine across the polished floor. “Brooklyn.”I ignored him. “Brooklyn, stop.”“No,” my voice came out flat.“Come on. You’ve been doing this all day.” “I am fine, Micheal.” I reached the locker room doors. But I already knew he wouldn’t stop until he caught up with me.He always did.“You’ve said that like twenty times already.” His footsteps slowed behind me. “But you won’t even look at me when you say it.”That did it.I spun around before I could stop myself.“I said I’m fine!” I snapped, my voice bouncing loudly off the gym walls. “Can’t you just let it go for once?”Silence. Ringing loudly in my ears.“Oh…” Micheal’s shoulders dropped almost immediately. That thing I knew all too well, flashing across his face.Shock first. Then something softer.Disappointment.I tucked a loose strand
Tyler “You’re just going to talk to her. Explain everything. Tell her the truth. Just…don’t be an asshole, Tyler.” That was me. Thirty-six minutes past two that Monday morning, standing in front of my bathroom mirror after those stupid pills finally wore off. Because honestly, that was the only thing that kept me sane those four days between Monday. Believe me, I didn’t plan to go completely mute on Sydney. But what exactly was I supposed to do when the entire school was still talking shit about the party and I’d done absolutely nothing to stop it? I’d just watched everything happen. Ignored it like a complete coward. It wasn’t like I didn’t want to text her. But sending a text in the middle of all that noise felt…wrong. I wanted to see her. Talk to her. Explain the parts she couldn’t see. Tell her what I desperately wanted Sydney Walker to know. ‘Should have gone to her house, Tyler,’ my mind whispered mercilessly. ‘Mom wasn’t home for almost the entire week.’
Sydney I turned, trying to step around him again. But he lifted his arms—instinctively. Not to touch me. Just enough to stop me from walking away from him. “Sydney…” I held his gaze for one second again before stepping back, wrapping my arms tightly around myself. “I’m tired, Tyler.” “I know.” “No. Stop saying that.” The words escaped before I could stop them. “You have no idea.” He didn’t argue. He just stared back at me. And God, I hated the look on his face. If only guilt could erase the past four days, maybe I’d have forgiven him already. Instead, he took one careful step toward me. I stayed where I was. “I’m sorry, Sydney.” I looked away. “Sorry for what?” My voice was smaller than I wanted. “For encouraging them while they tore me apart?” “That’s not fair.” He said. “I didn’t even say anything.” “Exactly!” My eyes snapped to his. I scoffed bitterly. “Exactly, Tyler. You never say anything. Don’t you see that that’s the problem? He didn’t res
SydneyThe bell for the second half of class rang while I was seeing how long I could keep a giant covalent structure going before I ran out of space on the page.And turns out…it takes a surprisingly long time.Which was great, by the way. Because the alternative was thinking about the table full of jocks across from me in the cafeteria.The way Brooklyn had looked away just when I thought she’d say something different. That stupid smile on Tracy’s face. The way the others had just gone quiet when she talked, like some silent approval no one wanted to admit out loud.Then she’d flipped her hair when she said she wasn’t sure I had a virus.That part stung. I won’t lie.Because what the hell did she mean by that?I swallowed, shutting out the snorts that came after. And then there was Tyler.Gone frozen again right after telling Tracy to stop.Like why couldn’t he just say something when it actually mattered?Or had he actually been drunk, but my heart didn’t want to accept it?God!
SydneyI was stuck with two options.Either hold my breath, walk over to a table directly opposite half the basketball team and the cheer squad, and spend forty-five minutes pretending not to hear them laughing like they owned the entire world…Or walk over to the sweet lunch lady, flash her a smile, ask her if I could throw away perfectly good food, then go hunt down Maeve and potentially find out who Carrie and Isabel were.Monday really was determined to outdo itself.My phone buzzed. And I glanced down at it on the tray beside one sad looking lettuce.“Alive?” Maeve’s text read.And as much as I wanted to send a full-blown distress call, I really didn’t want to interrupt whatever she was doing.Besides, the longer I stood there, the more I felt like my knees were going to give out.So I fixed my eyes on the empty table, ignored the murmurs drifting around the cafeteria, and walked.And the second I reached it, I dropped onto the bench.“Hey, easy.” Someone said behind me, accompan
Sydney The door slammed shut after the girls, the sound echoing through my ears.Still, it took me a few seconds to completely process the fact that I’d possibly almost gotten beaten up with my phone smashed by Tracy, to hearing about Tyler Sinclair.My breath caught. “Tyler!” Before I could even
Sydney“My boyfriend…” I’d choked, the words slipping out before I could stop them. “Back in Newston…he…he took pictures.”I’d barely been able to breathe.“In a stupid bikini and…” I shook my head like that could stop the memory.It didn’t.God!I clutched my books tighter to my chest as I hurried
Tyler The moment we turned the corner, the noise from the rest of the hallway faded out behind us, leaving just us in that silence. Dean walked a few steps ahead before stopping beside the wall, leaning against it lazily like this was some casual conversation between friends. “What’s up?” He a
SydneyI hate me. I hate my stupid brain. I hate that stupid thing that usually kicks in; always craving that stupid sense of belonging. I hate Chase. I hate Dean. I hate my body. I miss my Dad…so much.God, I could still remember that day back at Newston.I remembered walking through the fie







