Chapter 4 Living Together

[Lexie POV]

A sudden wave of excitement rushed through me as a new thought took root. Right. There is a way for me to keep her close.

"Hmm... Can you stay at my place while I'm in the process of moving on?" I asked, the words tumbling out in a rush while she was busy swallowing her pasta.

Would she say no? Surely, wanting to move on was a valid reason to ask for support.

When someone's heart is this shattered, isn't it completely normal for their closest friend to step in and help them through it?

The silence stretched, and my nerves began to fray as Agatha just sat there, unmoving. But deep down, I was desperately hoping for a yes.

"Are you sure?" she finally countered.

Her tone threw me off. Did I sound unsure? Why would she even ask that?

"Of course I'm sure," I pressed, trying to hide my spiking anxiety. "Don't you want to?"

Suddenly, a wave of embarrassment hit me. I felt a sudden urge to just vanish from my seat, realizing I probably shouldn't have dared to invite her to stay with me.

Maybe she thought it was completely inappropriate, too. Stupid, Lexie. It’s not going to happen.

"Look, it's fine if you're too preoccupied," I mumbled, trying to give us both an out.

"No! I'm completely okay with it," Agatha interrupted, her voice firm. "When do you want me to come over?"

A massive surge of joy flooded through me. She had consented, completely free of judgment or suspicion.

"Awesome!" I blurted out, unable to contain the pure ecstasy in my voice.

[Agatha POV]

I could see the sheer happiness radiating from her face, but to me, this arrangement was going to be pure, unadulterated torture.

It was already a daily battle to hide my feelings whenever we were together, and now we were going to be living under the exact same roof? For how long?

Until she magically moved on? Was breaking up with Kayden really so devastating that she needed to hold onto me like a lifeline?

Why do I always find myself trapped in these impossible situations? I have the power to say no, so why the hell can't I ever bring myself to do it?

I hated it. Controlling my emotions around her was becoming harder by the second—a task far more complicated than any breakup she was going through.

Should I be thrilled that I get to be near her, or terrified that the proximity will finally unleash the feelings I’ve spent years burying?

Fuck.

Why am I in this state of absolute panic? Now, I didn't even know what scared me more: Lexie finding out that I'm a lesbian, or her realizing that I am secretly, deeply in love with her.

Yes, that kind of love.

My chest heaved as a volatile mix of anxiety and excitement tangled in my gut. I was completely losing control of my own emotions.

[Narrator]

Two days passed quickly, and Agatha finally arrived at Lexie's apartment, bags in hand.

"You're here!" Lexie greeted her, pulling the door open with a bright smile.

"Y-yeah. I'm here," Agatha managed to reply, her voice uncharacteristically tense.

Agatha immediately froze, completely unsure of where to look. Lexie was standing there wearing nothing but sheer, delicate lingerie.

It was the first time Agatha had ever seen her best friend dressed so provocatively, and she instantly wished the ground would open up and swallow her whole. To make matters worse, this was only day one of sharing the same roof.

Lexie bent down to grab one of Agatha's heavier suitcases, the movement shifting her top and revealing the pale curve of her chest.

Agatha's throat went entirely dry, and she swallowed hard, trying to look anywhere else.

"We'll just have to share the bedroom," Lexie said lightly, guiding her inside.

"I don't have a spare room here. But don't worry—the second I make it big in the industry, I'm buying a two-bedroom condo. One room for you, and one for me."

"It's fine," Agatha muttered, her voice tight. "No need to worry about it."

[Agatha POV]

Now we were going to sleep in the exact same bed. This was ridiculous. If it were just for a night or two, it would be tolerable, but this was going to be a regular occurrence.

Oh, shit. It looked like I was going to need to start partying every single night just to escape this house.

If this was the view I had to face every evening before bed, how was I supposed to sleep?

How was I supposed to focus enough to update my novel? How was I supposed to think straight?

This was a distraction of catastrophic proportions.

Why did I agree to this? Why didn't I make up a convenient excuse? Or was the terrifying truth that I actually wanted this? Did I want to be this close to her?

It was infuriating how little control I had over myself.

"What do you want for dinner? I'll cook," Lexie offered suddenly.

The statement caught me entirely off guard. Lexie hated cooking; she practically avoided the kitchen at all costs.

"Ah... actually, I'm sorry, but I'm heading out tonight."

"Oh. Is that so?" A flicker of disappointment crossed her face before she quickly masked it. "What about tomorrow? What do you want for breakfast?"

"Anything is fine. You know I'm not picky, best."

Every time Lexie spoke, I had to force myself to stay alert just to process her words. Her voice alone was enough to completely scramble my brain. It felt like I was growing deaf to everything else, my heart hammering violently against my ribs with every syllable she uttered.

And looking at her right now, I was losing my sanity. Did she really need to wear clothes like that all the time?

[Lexie POV]

I had actually offered to cook for her, but she was already running out the door. We were finally living together, yet it felt like Agatha was going to leave me behind more often than not.

Part of me wondered if I could just tag along with her, but I knew it was impossible. The paparazzi were everywhere, and my career was still too unstable to risk being photographed at casual bars or clubs. I had to be careful.

"Hmm, okay. Have fun tonight. Just text me updates," I said.

The disappointment tasted bitter, but I managed to hide it behind a casual smile. A dark, suffocating thought crept into my mind: What if I just forgive Kayden? What if I just go back to him and give him what he wants?

God, this feeling was suffocating.

I pulled myself out of my thoughts just in time to see Agatha pull her t-shirt over her head to change.

When we were kids, movements like this meant absolutely nothing, but now, a strange sensation stirred inside me—something I knew I shouldn't be feeling.

What is wrong with me? I quickly averted my eyes from her slender, toned body.

Why didn't she just use the bathroom to change? But of course, she wouldn't see a reason to hide.

To her, there was zero malice because she assumed we were just two straight best friends.

We had changed in front of each other since childhood.

A heavy doubt began to settle in my chest. Was inviting Agatha to move in a massive mistake? It felt like I had picked up a heavy stone and smashed it directly into my own head.

I had just wanted to be close to her. Was that really too much to ask? Oh, God.

[Agatha POV]

My clothes felt sticky from a long day, and while I had initially thought about changing in the bathroom, I hesitated.

If I suddenly started hiding to change, Lexie would definitely wonder why I was suddenly uncomfortable dressing in front of her. We had done it since we were kids, after all.

"Is your shoot still scheduled for tomorrow afternoon?" I asked, breaking the thick silence once I had tossed on a fresh shirt.

The awkwardness vibrating between us was wild. How long could I possibly survive this setup?

"Yeah, tomorrow," Lexie replied keenly. She stepped closer, unexpectedly wrapping her hands around my arm like a child seeking comfort.

As she leaned in, the soft curve of her bare chest pressed directly against my skin. I caught my breath, my throat tightening as I forced myself to gulp down the sudden spike of adrenaline.

I needed to get used to this. I had to learn to freeze my reactions, because if I flinched or pulled away, my secret would be exposed in no time.

[Lexie POV]

The moment my skin brushed against her arm, a sharp jolt of electricity surged straight through my body.

Am I the only one who feels that?

My heart raced with panic. I shouldn't be feeling things like this. We were best friends, and I couldn't do anything that might risk ruining the only bond that kept me grounded.