Letters to a Dead Daughter のすべてのチャプター: チャプター 1 - チャプター 9

I came down with a cold. At first, it was nothing more than a slight tickle in my throat.There was a box of cold medicine in the bathroom cabinet. I was about to make myself a dose when Mom stopped me."That's for Catherine. She said her throat feels scratchy, too. You're older, Allison. You can handle it."So I put the medicine back.I tried to tough it out for three days. Then my throat began to burn. Every swallow felt like sandpaper scraping it raw.Then came the fever. First 100.4 degrees, then 102.2.I told Mom I needed to see a doctor.She was in the kitchen frying chicken wings for my sister, Catherine Baldwin. Catherine had final exams and said she needed a good meal to help her focus. The exhaust fan was so loud that I had to repeat myself."In a minute," Mom said without looking back. "Catherine still has her math exam tomorrow."So I waited.I waited for Catherine to come home and eat every last chicken wing on the plate.I waited for Mom to wash the dishes,

Less than an hour after the IV was started, my condition suddenly took a turn for the worse.The monitor began shrieking. My oxygen level dropped from the nineties into the eighties, then the seventies. My heart raced wildly before slowing to a terrifying crawl.The doctor rushed in, glanced at the monitor, and his expression changed."She has myocarditis. Her heart is inflamed." He turned to the nurse. "Get her transferred to Riverside. Now."The nurse ran out to make the call. The only sounds left in the ER were the machines and the dull thud of the doctor pressing on my chest.Mom stood in the hallway, watching through the glass in the door. She was still clutching the bank card.When the nurse returned, her expression was grim. "All the ambulances from the city are out on calls. The soonest one can get here is 40 minutes.""She doesn't have 40 minutes," the doctor said. "Tell her family to take her themselves."The nurse hurried out to speak to Mom. Mom froze. "How am I s

Mom's lips parted, then closed. Then they opened again, but no sound came out."Wh-what did you say?""Allison's dead. Myocarditis. She got here too late. The doctors did everything they could."Mom shook her head. "No. That's impossible. I only made one phone call. It was just a few minutes...""Twenty minutes," Dad said. "You were on the phone for twenty minutes."Mom went still."It takes twenty minutes to get from the local hospital to Riverside. Allison's heart stopped twice on the way, and the doctors here spent another half hour trying to save her." Dad's voice began to shake. "You spent twenty minutes on a phone call.""I didn't know…!" Mom's voice rose to a shriek. "I didn't know it was that serious! I thought they were just transferring her...""Her homeroom teacher gave you 100 dollars for the ride. The nurse called for you 3 times. The elevator doors closed right in front of you." Dad forced out each word. "You really didn't know?"Mom stood there with her mouth op

Mom set the plate down.She went into the kitchen and pulled the sliding door shut behind her. It didn't close all the way, leaving a narrow gap.She stood at the sink with both hands braced against the counter, her shoulders trembling.The faucet was running, but even the sound of the water couldn't cover the broken noises coming from her throat.Catherine came out of her room and stopped outside the kitchen. She watched Mom through the gap in the door but didn't go inside.She only stood there, gripping the cuff of her black coat so tightly that her knuckles turned white.After a while, she turned, went into my room, and closed the door.Everything looked exactly the way I had left it before I went to the hospital. A half-finished math test lay open on the desk. Beside my pillow sat the stuffed rabbit Catherine had wanted to throw away. I told her not to, washed it, and kept it by my bed.Catherine sat down on the edge of my bed and picked up the rabbit. After holding it fo

I had no idea where Mom found the stack of stationery. It was pink and scented, the kind I had loved when I was alive. I had once saved up to buy a pack, then hidden it in the back of my drawer because it seemed too special to use.She found it.The first letter was short.[Dear Allison,[It rained today. Is it cold where you are?[Mom.]She folded the letter and slipped it into an envelope. On the front, she wrote, [For Allison.] Then she put a stamp in the corner and froze.She had nowhere to send it.So she tucked the letter beneath my pillow.She wrote another one the next day, then another the day after that. One letter at a time, each longer than the last.One read, [Dear Allison, [We did inventory at the supermarket today, and I worked until ten. [Whenever I came home late, you always left dinner warming for me. Now I come home, and the kitchen is cold.]Another said, [Dear Allison, [I bought oranges today. I ate one, and it was sour. [You used to ask for oran