If Arya's formative event happens in adolescence, her backstory tilts toward rebellion and identity formation. I picture her clashing with authority, learning skills in angry spurts, forming a tight band of friends who double as makeshift family. Those teenage years give her a volatile mix of idealism and bravado; she believes she can change the world and, because she’s still learning consequences, she sometimes pays dearly for it.
If instead the defining moment arrives in her thirties, the narrative becomes
quieter but heavier: missed opportunities, a job or duty she couldn't abandon, the ache of having to choose between personal desire and a greater good. That version of Arya is more strategic, using wisdom earned by slow burn rather than daring leaps. The choice of age also changes how other characters treat her — younger Arya inspires pity or mentorship, older Arya demands respect or
Envy. Each variant offers different arc possibilities: redemption, revenge, reconciliation, or legacy-building.
I tend to prefer the version that balances youthful fire with matured regret because it gives the most room for growth and surprises, and I love how that complexity keeps me guessing.