What Are The Best Letters In Dear Abby: The Funniest, Wittiest And Wisest?

2025-12-29 08:34:17 104
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3 Answers

Cassidy
Cassidy
2025-12-30 20:03:20
One letter I adore involved a man who trained his parrot to say 'Evidence suggests otherwise' during arguments with his wife. Abby’s reply? 'Divorce the bird first.' The sheer chaos of that situation encapsulates why her column rules—it’s a mix of relatable pettiness and surreal humor. Another unforgettable one was a reader asking if they should correct their friend’s mispronunciation of 'espresso' ('expresso') after 10 years. Abby’s take: 'Let it brew.’ Her puns were legendary. The letters where people revealed their quirks—like the guy who insisted on vacuuming in a Superman cape—and Abby responded with zero judgment, just warmth, are why her advice still resonates. She made normalcy overrated.
Emma
Emma
2026-01-04 02:26:44
A personal favorite is the letter from a guy who signed his emails 'Yours truculently' and wondered why people found him off-putting. Abby’s response: 'Truculent means aggressive. Try ‘cordially’ unless you’re declaring war.' It’s peak Abby—equal parts grammar lesson and social critique. Another standout was a mom complaining about her adult son’s 'emotional support watermelon' (he carried it everywhere), and Abby just said, 'At least it’s hydrating.' The way she reframed weirdness into something endearing gets me.

Her wisest moment, though, was answering a reader who asked, 'How do I stop caring what others think?' Abby wrote, 'Start by realizing they’re too busy caring what YOU think about THEM.' It’s the kind of insight that sticks with you. Her column was never just advice; it was a masterclass in human nature, served with a side of wit.
Hazel
Hazel
2026-01-04 23:55:50
There's this one 'Dear Abby' letter that lives rent-free in my head—a woman wrote in panicking because her husband insisted on eating cereal with a fork to 'avoid soggy bites.' Abby's deadpan response? 'Tell him to eat faster.' The sheer absurdity of the problem paired with Abby’s no-nonsense solution kills me every time. Another gem was a teen asking if it was weird to name their goldfish after historical dictators (Hitlerfish, Stalinfish, etc.), and Abby’s reply was, 'Only if you plan to introduce them at parties.' Her ability to blend wit with practicality is unmatched.

Then there’s the classic from a bride stressed about her fiancé’s habit of wearing mismatched socks to formal events. Abby’s advice: 'Let him. Happiness is more important than symmetry.' It’s these little moments where she turns trivial dilemmas into life lessons that make her column timeless. I’ve clipped so many of her letters over the years—they’re like comfort food in newsprint form.
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