Why Do I Feel Guilty For Dumping My Childhood Friend?

For three years of marriage, she—Camelia Collyn—was merely a wife on paper. Calvin Ashford—her husband—had never touched her, nor had he ever loved her. When the truth was revealed—that she was only a substitute, and that her husband had been saving himself for his first love—she knew the end of this marriage had already been decided. Calvin Ashford intended to divorce her. Of course, it was all for the sake of returning to Samantha Rose (Tata)—his first love who had come back. However, one mistake on the final night changed everything. Camelia left, leaving behind the divorce papers, and strangely, instead of feeling happy about Camelia’s departure, it was quite the opposite. Why was that so?

The night before the study abroad application deadline, the class group chat blew up. [Oh my God, Ryan, why did you switch your application to the UK? Weren’t you supposed to go to France with Emma Bennett?] Ryan Hawthorne replied like it was nothing. [Yeah, I changed it. She has my login anyway.] [Once she sees it, she’ll switch too. She always follows me around. She can’t function without me.] I stood there with my phone in my hand, my mind going completely blank. Scattered across the floor, half tucked between my open suitcases, was the gift I had prepared especially for Ryan. I left the group chat, threw the gift away, and never opened the application portal again. What he did not know was this. He could give up the future we were supposed to share for Sophie Quinn. And I could give him up too. I could choose my own future without ever looking back. All those late nights, all those years of work, had never been only for him.

After the SAT, I come across a post online. Someone posts, "If you could make a choice all over again, which major would you choose this time?" The comments are filled with people wishing they had chosen a different major. They all have their own regrets. One response stands out from the rest. "I would choose literature. That way, he and I wouldn't have missed out on the four years we should have spent together because of that unwanted baggage." I chuckle and am about to scroll past when I suddenly notice the profile picture and username. They are identical to those of my childhood sweetheart, Winter Andersen. I click into the profile. Everything matches her current account exactly, except that the age is ten years older. My heart sinks to my stomach. This has to be her ten years in the future. No wonder I am the only one celebrating when we are admitted to the same major. No wonder she zones out for so long after seeing my best friend, Simon Brown, receive his acceptance letter from the literature department. It turns out I am the unwanted baggage responsible for so many of her regrets and disappointments. Since that is the case, I quietly press "Accept" on the admission offer written entirely in a foreign language. I shall end this mistake ten years ahead of schedule.

I agreed to transfer schools with my childhood friend who was constantly being bullied, but she backed out on the last day. Her friend teased, "I can't believe you pretended to be bullied all this time just to get rid of Harry. He's your childhood friend. Are you really willing to let him go to another school all by himself?" Lena said indifferently, "It's just another school in this city. How far could it be? I've had enough of him always being around me. Getting some distance between us is just what I wanted." I stood outside the door for a long time that day before deciding to turn and leave. However, on the transfer application, instead of writing Haleswood High School, I wrote the high school that my parents wanted me to go to, which was abroad. Everyone seemed to have forgotten that Lena and I had been worlds apart from the very start.

I break up with my childhood sweetheart, Daphne Hogan, right outside my dorm. She doesn't even look up from her phone. "Just because I ditched you for him at dinner the other night?" "Yes." Daphne figures I'm just throwing a tantrum. Her fingers fly across her screen as she replies to a freshman's texts. Whatever message he sends makes her rush off. Before leaving, she gives me a fond, exasperated sigh. "Don't be silly. Get some sleep tonight. You have a hiking drill tomorrow. I'll be there." Daphne walks away without looking back, completely missing the finality in my eyes. It's time to put an end to this childhood romance.

After taking our graduation photo, I break up with Philip Lutz. "You're doing this just because I stood behind Mandy and not you while we were taking our graduation photos?" he asks. "Yes," I merely reply. "Sure," he says with a smile. "You'd better not come crying to me or begging for us to get back together later." Having known each other for ten years and dated for four, Philip is certain that I'll never leave him. However, he's unaware that the graduation photos are just an excuse. If I'm capable of taking my graduation photos alone, I can walk my future path alone. Once I've gone abroad, the sky's the limit for me. I no longer need him to stand behind me either.