Is 'How To Host A Viking Funeral' Worth Reading?

"Little bunny, little bunny. Wolf is HUNGRY!" The voice taunted me, followed by an evil cackle. * "Run, rabbit. RUN!" A monstrous bellow boomed through the night sky and crashed into my soul like a sledgehammer. I could feel a chill sweeping across my body and my heart pounding in my chest. The echoes of howls and laughter followed me from behind as I ran for my life. ** Elisabeth's life had been harder than most since she was a child--a distant and often cruel mother and her never-ending cycle of addiction that had taken over her life. But on this fateful night, something far more sinister was lurking in the darkness, ready to take her away from it all. Massive figures appeared out of nowhere, growling and taunting her. She tried to scream, but nothing would come out; before she knew it, she was waking up in a world where Viking werewolves ruled with mysterious faeries at their side. Every five years, they traveled to the human realm, collecting ten girls for their mate run--and tonight, Elisabeth was one of them. With only a white dress and her bare feet, Elisabeth stood beside the other nine girls as the beasts prowled around them menacingly. A silver dagger pierced each of our wrists, signaling the start of the hunt! “We honor the moon goddess; let your blood lead your mate to you!”

So it appeared that she was to start paying her way on her back with this absolutely massive, broad-shouldered, tattooed, aptly-named wild warrior. Gideon was a large man, but this modern viking put him to serious physical shame; if Gideon’s dick had split her in half in agony, Iris could only imagine what this monster’s cock would do to her. She just hoped that he left her able to walk… and able to fuck the rest of the boys downstairs, because of course they’d be close behind. She knew there would be blood soaking and staining her thighs before things were done, long before they decided that they’d used her up. Stopping her jumbled thoughts, Iris slowly lowered herself to her knees. **** Liam “Viking” Callahan thought the job was done. Evidence buried. Debt paid to The Road Devils MC. Then he drives out of the Utah mountains with a secret in the back of his van: a terrified woman running for her life. Iris has spent six months planning her escape from Gideon and the Garden of Divine Light. She’s barefoot, freezing, and desperate enough to gamble on a stranger who looks dangerous... but still safer than the hell she left behind. So she hides. And prays. When the Road Devils discover Iris, the truth unravels: a cult, a tyrant, and a woman who fled into a winter night wearing nothing but a nightgown and borrowed boots. She’s broken, but not defeated. Iris wants her life back... her body, her choices, her fearlessness. The only man she feels safe with is the towering, gentle Viking. As trust turns into desire, neither of them sees the danger closing in. Gideon wants his “property” returned... and he won’t stop until he gets it.

The night before our wedding, my mother needed a fifty-thousand-dollar emergency deposit for surgery. I went to my fiancé, Major Adrian Hayes, hoping he would listen before it was too late. He only saw the number. He paid the deposit in the end, but something between us broke that night. That money became the beginning of every name he would ever use against me. After that, every time I asked him for help, he sent me one hundred dollars. When I was in a car accident, he sent one hundred dollars. When I begged him to attend my mother’s funeral, he sent one hundred dollars. Eight months ago, I found out I was pregnant. I sent him seventy-seven voice messages, desperate to tell him we were having a baby. He never listened. He only sent seventy-seven payments of one hundred dollars. Later, when I started bleeding and was rushed into emergency surgery, I called Adrian and begged him to come to the hospital, to answer the doctors, to save our child. He sent one hundred dollars again. At the same time, Madeline’s Instagram story showed Adrian in his dress uniform beside her at a lavish officers’ charity gala. The comments all treated them like the perfect match. I stared at the screen until my hand went numb. I was begging for him from the edge of an emergency room while he stood under chandeliers beside another woman, looking as if he had already found the wife he wanted. By the time Adrian finally turned his phone back on, his staff officer’s voice was shaking. “Major Hayes... your wife and the baby did not make it.” And in that moment, Adrian went feral.

I died just before my husband Drake's wedding to his mate. Ten days before my death, Drake's former mate returned. Drake abandoned me to spend the night with his mate even though I was attacked by rogues and was severely injured. He came back directly the next day, not to see me but to give me the news. “I want to sever the mate bond with you.” “I’ve been poisoned by wolfsbane.” “You’re lying again. Regardless, I must reject you today.” He didn’t know that his rejection would hasten my death. I thought that after this stumbling block—me—was gone, he could finally live happily with his mate. But to my surprise, he abandoned his bride at the wedding and ran to my gravestone, weeping. “Lyra, you are my wife. I forbid you to die!”

The Clan Healer told me that without the vial of Progenitor's Blood, the Blood Blight afflicting me meant I had only seventy-two hours to live. But my husband, Miles, the new Duke of our world, gave the only vial of the precious cure to my adopted sister, Vivienne, the woman I had turned three years ago. "She's in agony from the rejection, Isolde. It's a pain you can't possibly understand." His tone was self-righteous, devoid of any concern for the patch of skin on my collarbone already turning to stone. I nodded, watching as the life-saving, dark red liquid slid down another woman's throat. I accomplished a great deal in the time I had left. As I signed the documents, the lawyer's hand trembled. "Are you certain you want to transfer everything, Your Grace? The territorial rights of a thousand-year-old clan..." I didn't hesitate. "Yes. To Vivienne." My adopted daughter, Lily, the girl I had risked everything to save, who was now forever frozen at the age of eight, cowered in Vivienne's arms, pointing at me and screaming, "Aunt Vivienne is my real mommy! You're the witch who turned us into monsters!" I offered no defense. "Yes, that's right. Be a good girl and listen to your new mother now." The Progenitor's Ring, the symbol of the clan's supreme authority, now rested on Vivienne's hand. "Oh, sister, you're too kind," she sobbed, her sobs a practiced performance. "I'll be sure to protect the family in your stead." I nodded. "You'll run things better than I ever did." I even signed away my control over the Elder Council, a council sustained by my own blood. For the first time in a century, a shadow of complex emotion crossed Miles's face. He stared at me,"Isolde, stop fighting. It's better this way. You need to rest." Yes. On my deathbed, I had finally become the perfect, submissive Isolde they always wanted. An Isolde who was about to turn to dust. The seventy-two-hour countdown had begun. I wondered, when I finally turned to ash,

I was the daughter of a human noble house, and I married the man I'd fallen for at first sight: Adrian, heir to the vampire Prince. Adrian was unfailingly gentle with me. Every wedding anniversary, jewelry arrived at my door. Everyone said I was the luckiest woman alive. What they didn't know was that on our wedding night, Adrian told me not to let myself hope for anything from him. The anniversary gifts were chosen by his assistant. He never once celebrated with me. In ten years of marriage, Adrian went through more lovers than I could count. Every time, I was the one who wrote the check and dismissed the women he'd grown tired of. This time, I cleaned up after him as usual. That night, he wrapped his arms around me from behind, buried his face in my shoulder, and murmured his praise. “Elena, I always knew you were the sensible one.” I gave a faint smile and slipped out of his arms. “I can do you one last favor.” “Let's get a divorce.” The gentle smile stayed on his lips. Only his eyes went cold for the space of a breath. “Don't be like this. I'll spend more time with you these next few days.” When I turned my face away, Adrian assumed I was slipping back into my old self. I would weep, demanding to know why he couldn't even try to love me. But he didn't know. This time was different. I was dying, and soon I'd be leaving him for good.