What Inspired David Sedaris To Write His Latest Novel?

My adopted younger sister, Marissa Payton, loves pulling pranks on others. But I'm the only one who gets hurt in her pranks. Last year, she and our older brother, James Payton, locked me up in a cold storage room. Because of that, I'm afflicted with a case of severe asthma. James apologizes to me before telling me that he'll take me cave diving just to make it up to me. Marissa tags along with us on the trip. She keeps casting me malicious glances every now and then. Feeling rather uneasy, I quickly get into the water just so I can get away from Marissa. But when I'm 65 feet deep, I feel a wave of suffocation hitting me all of a sudden. It turns out that Marissa has secretly shut off the oxygen supply. I can hear Marissa's smug laughter ringing out from the underwater communicator. "Look, Jamie! I told you that Nat would fall for it again!" James' voice is filled with affection. "Leave it to you to be smart enough to think of such a prank to play on your sister, you little imp." My face has gone blue from the suffocation. I struggle with all my might in an attempt to turn on the bailout cylinder, only to feel my hands getting slapped away from them thanks to Marissa, who has swum over to me. She then whines into the communicator, "Look at how dramatic Nat is being, Jamie! She can't stand the suffocation at all even though it's only been a few seconds!" I hear James' icy and aloof voice reverberating in my earpiece. "Just hold on a little longer. Look at how delicate you are! It hasn't been all that long, yet you already can't stand it. How humiliating. You're not even in the same league as Mari!" This time, I can only stare at James in despair as my complexion slowly goes purple. Has he forgotten what happened to me? Thanks to their prank, my lungs have already sustained irreversible damage. It's getting more and more difficult for me to breathe. Finally, my vision goes black, and I collapse in the dark bottom of the sea. This prank isn't funny at all, James. This time, I'm going to die for real.

Tessa Ford thought she had it all: a loving husband, a beautiful daughter, and a thriving fashion brand. But when her husband, Grayson Grant, is manipulated into believing she’s having an affair with one of her models, the perfect life she built begins to crumble. Without giving her a chance to explain, he serves her divorce papers and disappears just when she needs him the most. When tragedy strikes, Tessa signs the papers and walks away. Five years later, fate brings them face-to-face once more. Grayson is haunted by his mistakes and desperate for forgiveness. Tessa has built walls around her heart that no amount of apology can break. As time goes on and old feelings resurface, will Tessa be able to find it in her heart to give him a second chance?

Either what I get up to on a daily or what I fantasise who knows what’s real and what’s not

This is a diary of dark, depraved thoughts. Turn the page if you dare. *** *** She’s a secret erotic artist. Behind closed doors, she sketches the same man over and over again—filthy, dangerous, and forbidden. Then she sells the drawings to the black market to pay for her mother’s medical bills and her sister’s college tuition. It should be simple. Except the man in those drawings isn’t a stranger. He’s Dominic—her father’s best friend. Every sinful stroke of her brush chips away at her innocence and poisons her love life. Every relationship she tries to build ends the same way—ruined by a man who doesn’t even know she’s obsessed with him. Until the night everything goes wrong. She wants to stop, wants a fairytale love life, but she owes her anonymous collectors one more portrait. Determined to make one final drawing of her darkest fantasy, she locks herself in her studio… only for Dominic to walk in and see the explicit portraits displayed across her walls. Her secret should destroy her. Instead, Dominic makes her a far more dangerous deal. For 365 days, she’ll work for him as his obedient secretary—and in return, he’ll keep her scandalous secret buried. But the closer she gets to the man she’s spent years drawing in the dark, the harder it becomes to remember one thing: Some fantasies should never come to life.

My girlfriend's so-called guy best friend found out I had epilepsy. He deliberately spiked my drink with stimulants. The moment I drank it, my nervous system was overstimulated. My heart rate surged. My chest tightened. Then the familiar warning signs hit–blurred vision, fragmented awareness, the onset of a seizure. The next second, I lost control of my body and collapsed onto the floor. My muscles convulsed violently. My jaw locked tight. My breathing turned uneven. I struggled to pull out the emergency medication I always carried with me, trying to stop the seizure from worsening. However, just as I was about to take it, I realized the hot water in my bottle had been replaced with highly concentrated coffee. The extra caffeine intensified the neurological stimulation. My convulsions worsened. My thoughts became more chaotic. My fingers stiffened to the point where I could barely move. Aaron Stone looked down at me on the floor and laughed. "Not bad. You're pretty convincing. "I've seen plenty of seizure patients before. Never seen anyone act this well." Gasping for air, I forced myself onto my knees in front of Mia, my jaw tightening from the spasms. "Mia... call an ambulance... I'm having a seizure..." Mia frowned at my obvious condition, but there was only impatience on her face. "Enough already. "If you keep acting like this, it's honestly too much. Since when can people having seizures still talk? "Aaron's a doctor. With him here, what could possibly happen to you?" I stopped trying to explain. Because I was already entering the next stage of neurological collapse. Even speaking had become difficult. Using the last of my strength, I pulled out my phone and sent an emergency distress message.

Adrian Moretti’s adopted sister—She knew perfectly well that I suffered from severe asthma and could not be exposed to smoke or strong scents. Yet during the yacht reception, she deliberately dragged me onto the open deck, where cigars burned nonstop and the wind howled. Within seconds, my chest tightened. When I reached for my inhaler, my blood ran cold. It was empty. I collapsed against the railing, gasping violently, my lungs burning as if they were collapsing in on themselves. She crouched beside me and smiled. “You’re always so dramatic. It’s just a little smoke. You don’t need to act like you’re dying,” she said softly. “You’re too weak. You need to build some tolerance.” I looked toward Adrian, my vision already blurring. “Adrian,” I choked. “Give me my inhaler. If I don’t use it right now, I’m going to suffocate.” He frowned slightly. “Don’t you think you’re overreacting?” he said coldly. “I’ve never heard of anyone dying from a bit of smoke. She’s right—you’re always seeking attention. We finally gathered tonight, and you’re ruining it.” My heart dropped. I fumbled for my phone and called my mother. “Mom,” I sobbed, barely able to breathe. “I’m being bullied… and I can’t breathe.” My voice shook violently.