Why Does Leila Struggle In 'Tell Me Again How A Crush Should Feel'?

2026-03-07 11:32:42 322
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3 Answers

Eloise
Eloise
2026-03-10 11:12:19
Leila's struggles in 'Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel' are deeply tied to her internal conflict about her identity and the pressure of societal expectations. She's a Iranian-American teen navigating high school, which is hard enough, but add in the fact that she's grappling with her sexuality in a conservative family, and it becomes a minefield. The book does a fantastic job of showing how her crush on Saskia isn't just about romance—it's about self-discovery. Leila's fear of rejection from her family and peers makes her hesitate, and that hesitation creates this painful push-and-pull dynamic. You can feel her anxiety in every scene where she debates whether to act on her feelings or hide them.

What really resonated with me was how the author, Sara Farizan, captures the quiet desperation of someone who wants to be true to themselves but is terrified of the consequences. Leila's struggle isn't just about coming out; it's about balancing cultural identity, familial love, and personal happiness. The way she second-guesses herself, especially when her friends and family make assumptions about her dating life, feels so real. It's not just a 'will they/won't they' romance—it's a story about the weight of silence and the courage it takes to break it.
Aiden
Aiden
2026-03-12 14:31:30
One thing that struck me about Leila’s journey is how her struggle isn’t just external—it’s this constant battle with her own doubts. She’s smart, funny, and deeply loyal, but all those qualities get overshadowed by her fear of being seen as 'different.' The scene where she panics after being outed to her classmates hit hard because it wasn’t just about embarrassment; it was about losing control over her own narrative. The book doesn’t shy away from showing how messy self-acceptance can be, especially when you’re caught between cultures. Leila’s Iranian heritage adds another layer to her struggle, since she’s not just worrying about her sexuality but also about disappointing her family’s expectations.

And then there’s Saskia, who’s this confident, charismatic girl that Leila admires but also kind of resents because Saskia seems so sure of herself. Their dynamic is fascinating because it’s not just a straightforward crush—it’s laced with envy and insecurity. Leila’s struggle isn’t just about love; it’s about measuring up to an idealized version of confidence she thinks she’ll never have. The book really nails how crushes can sometimes mirror our own insecurities.
Aaron
Aaron
2026-03-13 06:40:10
Leila’s struggle in 'Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel' is relatable because it’s not just about romance—it’s about the fear of being truly known. Her crush on Saskia forces her to confront parts of herself she’s tried to ignore, and that’s terrifying. The way Farizan writes Leila’s inner monologue makes you feel every ounce of her anxiety, from the way she overanalyzes every interaction to the moments where she shuts down completely. It’s a raw, honest portrayal of what it feels like to be trapped between wanting something and being too scared to reach for it.
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