What Is The Meaning Of 'To This Day' By Shane Koyczan?

On New Year's Eve, I waited at home with a box of sparklers, hoping Jake Thompson would come. Instead, an earthquake struck. Trapped under fallen debris, I prayed for his safety. Little did I know, Jake was putting on a grand fireworks display across the city for his high school sweetheart who had just returned from abroad. The whole town buzzed with excitement, wishing them a lifetime of happiness together. Meanwhile, I had lost my hearing in the disaster, with no hope of recovery. When I tried to break off our engagement and leave town, Jake stood before me, his eyes red-rimmed and pleading. I couldn't understand a word he said. I simply wished him, “May you always have a day like today, year after year.”

Right after the SAT results dropped, the admissions representatives from Blackridge University practically fought over me so fiercely it felt like they'd set the whole room on fire. They made an outrageous offer just to win me over, claiming that I could bring one friend along with full admission. As the clock reset, I chose no one this time around because I'd already lived through it once. In my last life, I didn't hesitate to pick my childhood best friend, Shawn Hooper. I gave him a ticket into a world he could never hope to reach without my help. And what did I get for it? A look of pure disgust. "You're pathetic," he sneered. "It's laughable that you'd dare use something like this to drive a wedge between Madison and me." Madison Cole was our class president. She was the golden girl and everyone's favorite girl. She couldn't handle losing both the guy she loved and the future she thought was hers. So, she jumped from the roof of a building. Shawn found her final message and lost his mind. He told me the class was having one last bonfire party just outside town. It was a lie. He took me there to torture me before leaving me to die. Our entire class covered for him. Every last one of them told the police I'd slipped near the ravine and fallen by accident. … A week after my death, my parents died in a supposed highway pileup. My soul never moved on, and that was how I discovered the truth—Shawn had orchestrated everything. When I reopened my eyes, I quickly realized I was back on the day when Blackridge University fought to recruit me. I wouldn't choose anyone this time. No, the only one I would choose was myself.

At Greg Jenson’s birthday party, an obituary suddenly created a huge ruckus in our school year’s group chat. “Oh my God, Luanne Lee is dead” “It’s got to be fake news. A bad thing never dies. How could a malicious woman like her die so easily? Back then, she literally took Greg...” Sitting at the head of the table, Greg twirled his phone in his hand, his eyes dark. “It's fake. I just got a call from her this morning. She said she was coming to my birthday party.” However, someone hesitantly held up their phone, showing the screen to the room. “If I'm not mistaken, this person really is Luanne. The memorial service is at the funeral home in the neighboring city. Should we go check it out?” On the screen was a photo of a funeral hall, and there I was, lying peacefully right in the center. Greg’s expression turned to panic. He bolted upright and headed straight for the exit, but the moment he opened the door, he froze dead in his tracks. The deceased ‘me’ was standing right at the doorway. Looking into those deeply familiar eyes, I smiled and said, “Greg, it’s been ten years. I'm here to wish you a happy birthday.”

Kim has spent most of her life on the edges—quiet, guarded, invisible. At nineteen, she’s only just beginning to learn what it means to be seen, to want, to belong. Erik was never meant to be more than a safe place, a steady presence in a world that once hurt her too deeply. He’s older, scarred by a past he doesn’t talk about, and painfully aware that loving her might mean holding her back. What begins as comfort turns into something dangerous: a love built in stolen mornings, unsaid fears, and promises neither of them knows how to keep. When Luca enters the picture—warm, easy, and part of the life Kim has never lived—everything Erik fears starts to feel inevitable. A single party. One careless moment. One kiss seen by the wrong eyes. Now Kim is torn between the man she comes home to and the future she’s only just daring to imagine, while Erik must decide whether love means fighting for her… or letting her go.

The novel is set in the modern time, its the year 2024 and Callie the protagonist is trying to get into a prestigious art school, she spends a whole day working on her canvas without food, sleep or even water and passes out on the floor, when she wakes up she’s in a familiar but not so familiar attic, same design and outline but the things in it weren’t hers, just as she’s about to completely lose it a boy seemingly two or three years older than her walks in and straight through her. She wakes up on her attic floor covered in paint with a splitting headache, she’s back to normal. She brushes the experience off as a lucid dream but more strange things start happening and Callie realizes that the world she knows is weirder than it seems

Death is like a rain you cannot stop. Are you bound to be saved? Or bound to die? I saw you die.