Why Was 'Misery Business' Retired By Paramore?

After the SAT, I come across a post online. Someone posts, "If you could make a choice all over again, which major would you choose this time?" The comments are filled with people wishing they had chosen a different major. They all have their own regrets. One response stands out from the rest. "I would choose literature. That way, he and I wouldn't have missed out on the four years we should have spent together because of that unwanted baggage." I chuckle and am about to scroll past when I suddenly notice the profile picture and username. They are identical to those of my childhood sweetheart, Winter Andersen. I click into the profile. Everything matches her current account exactly, except that the age is ten years older. My heart sinks to my stomach. This has to be her ten years in the future. No wonder I am the only one celebrating when we are admitted to the same major. No wonder she zones out for so long after seeing my best friend, Simon Brown, receive his acceptance letter from the literature department. It turns out I am the unwanted baggage responsible for so many of her regrets and disappointments. Since that is the case, I quietly press "Accept" on the admission offer written entirely in a foreign language. I shall end this mistake ten years ahead of schedule.

I'm discovered by a man who's gone fishing early in the morning. I'm caught on his hook, but he can't pull me up, no matter how hard he tugs. He comes closer to see me floating in the water and is terrified. He runs off to call the police, leaving his fishing pole behind. When the police get me out of the water, I'm hanging on by a thread. Even the doctors who participate in my rescue think they can't save me. When they call my husband and tell him to come sign some forms, he tells me he doesn't have time for that. He's busy making a hot drink for his true love, who has a cold. Later, he bawls his eyes out and begs me to spare him another glance.

My parents adopted an AI daughter. The day she came home, I suddenly became the most hated person in the family. Dad said I was a thorn in his side. Mom thought I couldn't hold a candle to Sophia, the AI. My brother Jack yelled at me, "All you do is make trouble!" I was so furious that I shoved Sophia to the floor. Mom's face went dark. She struck me hard across the face. "Sophia is your sister! If you were even half as good as her, I wouldn't be this angry!" "You're going to the Academy of Exemplary Obedience to learn how to be a proper, obedient daughter." I was sent away to "swap places" with an AI daughter. Three years later, my parents and brother came to pick me up. They called my name, but I didn't move. The headmaster smiled and said, "Mrs. Walker, you have to say 'Activate' before Unit EVA will respond."

Seraphine Hale, a genius musician, announces her return to the country. When a reporter asks whether she's back for her first love, she smiles icily. "Are you talking about that trash? It wouldn't be any of my business even if he were to drop dead tomorrow." What she doesn't know is that I've already been dead for close to a decade.

I've spent the past seven years by Caleb Hale's side, but I don't have a proper identity. He doesn't seem interested in marrying me, either. Later, he has plans to marry the daughter of the White family in a political marriage. They only have one condition—he must throw away the sandalwood bead bracelet he always wears. Caleb doesn't even bat an eye as he says, "It's just a little trinket, and I've grown sick of it." After that, he throws the bracelet into the annex from his balcony. Coincidentally, the annex later catches fire. Everyone is stunned to see me dash inside to retrieve the bracelet without a care for my safety. Subsequently, someone in the online community reveals that I kneeled in the snow outside Highspire Hall to get that bracelet.

On the night before our wedding, my fiancee, Elara Wynn, gave her first time to her first love, Drew Mercer. I left my engagement ring behind and walked away. Before I went, I posted a message on their social feed: "Hope you two get back together soon. I’m clearing the way for you." The very next second, my fiancee called. "Cassian Rowe, I just didn’t want to leave regrets in my life. Can you stop being so old-fashioned?" I answered, annoyed, that she was no longer my fiancee and had nothing to do with me. That was when she panicked.