Can I Read 'If I Knew Then What I Know Now ... So What?' Online For Free?

Seven years into her marriage, Maria was diagnosed with brain cancer. For her husband Richard and son Jonathan, she bet on a 50-50 percent chance of survival. Enter Eleanor, her husband's old flame and one true love. It was then that Maria realized the painful truth: her marriage to Richard was nothing but a scam. When Eleanor appeared, everything changed. Richard made her his secretary at work, while his best friend addressed her as Mrs. Shaw—a title that should belong to Maria. Even Jonathan came to believe that Eleanor would make a better mother. Maria gave up entirely. In a final act of despair, she severed all ties with Richard and Jonathan before vanishing into thin air. When Richard and Jonathan finally saw Maria's cancer diagnosis, they were filled with regret. They traced her overseas and groveled at her feet, begging for her forgiveness just so she would look their way—but she didn't spare them a glance. Who needs a heartless husband and an ungrateful son?

After the SAT, I come across a post online. Someone posts, "If you could make a choice all over again, which major would you choose this time?" The comments are filled with people wishing they had chosen a different major. They all have their own regrets. One response stands out from the rest. "I would choose literature. That way, he and I wouldn't have missed out on the four years we should have spent together because of that unwanted baggage." I chuckle and am about to scroll past when I suddenly notice the profile picture and username. They are identical to those of my childhood sweetheart, Winter Andersen. I click into the profile. Everything matches her current account exactly, except that the age is ten years older. My heart sinks to my stomach. This has to be her ten years in the future. No wonder I am the only one celebrating when we are admitted to the same major. No wonder she zones out for so long after seeing my best friend, Simon Brown, receive his acceptance letter from the literature department. It turns out I am the unwanted baggage responsible for so many of her regrets and disappointments. Since that is the case, I quietly press "Accept" on the admission offer written entirely in a foreign language. I shall end this mistake ten years ahead of schedule.

Rain Stanton thought she was mentally prepared, but she couldn’t stop her trembling hands. She took the envelope and opened it. Sitting quietly in the envelope was a Divorce Agreement. Rain felt as if her heart was cut by a blunt knife and asked, “What have I done wrong, Payton? Please give our marriage a chance.” Her husband, Payton Phillips, looked at her coldly and replied, “I have never loved you, Rain. The gentleness and tenderness I gave you were not meant for you. When I was in bed with you, I had Zara in my mind. You are nothing but a substitute. I give you five days to sign the divorce agreement.” Rain was not aware that Payton had a first love, if life had a rewind button….

I signed the divorce papers on a Tuesday. No tears. No phone calls. No begging. I just picked up the pen, signed my name, and let Dominic Hartley go. For four years, I tried to be everything a good wife should be. I put my career on hold. I pushed my dreams aside. I made myself smaller so he could feel bigger. And somehow, it still wasn’t enough. He looked through me like I wasn’t really there. I loved him quietly while he built his empire, not realizing he was slowly tearing mine down. When he filed for divorce, I think he expected me to fall apart. I didn’t. I started over. A new apartment. A new job. A version of myself I hadn’t seen in a long time. And for the first time in years, I felt like me again. While he stayed in his perfect penthouse, surrounded by everything money could buy and nothing that felt real, I was finally learning how to be happy. That’s when he noticed me. Of course. Too late. Now Dominic Hartley, the man who never had to chase anything, is chasing me. Calling. Showing up. Saying all the things I used to beg to hear. But I’m not that woman anymore. And I’ve learned what he hasn’t. Love isn’t enough to go back to something that broke you. He wants another chance. I just don’t know if he’s really changed… or if I’m the one thing he can’t get back.

My parents have always been biased against me, even as a child. They leave me in the countryside while raising my brother themselves. When I'm finally brought to live with them, they neglect me because they don't want my brother to be upset. When my brother says that I'm rude and falsely accuses me of getting people to assault him, my parents believe him without a shadow of doubt. And so, I'm sent to a residential treatment center. Under my parents' tacit permission and my brother's persuasion, the teachers at the center "educate" me inhumanely. In the end, I learn my lesson, as everyone wishes. I die while learning it, too.

After her first love died, Sophia Hayes hated me for ten years. I tried to win back her favor every day, but she only responded with cold sneers. "If you really want to make me happy, why don't you just die?" Her words were like daggers to my heart. It was a shock when she died in a pool of blood while trying to save me from an oncoming truck. With her final gaze fixed on me, she whispered, "If only I had never met you." Her mother was inconsolable with grief at the funeral. "I should have let Sophia be with Ethan Brooks. I never should have forced her to marry you!" Her father also looked at me with hatred in his eyes. "Sophia saved your life three times. She was such a wonderful person. Why couldn't it have been you who died instead?" Everyone regretted that Sophia had married me—myself included. I was driven away from the funeral, completely devastated. Three years later, I traveled back to the past after a time machine was invented. This time, I chose to sever all connections with Sophia, giving everyone the version of history they truly desired.