In My Next Life I beg

From as far back as I can remember, I knew my mom hated me. She gives me sleeping pills when I'm three. When I'm five, she tries pesticide instead. But I'm hard to get rid of. By the time I'm seven, I've already learned how to fight back. If she refuses to give me food, I flip the table so no one can eat either. If she beats me up until I'm on the ground, writhing in pain, I go after her beloved son the same way, leaving him bruised and bawling. That's how we stay locked in battle until I turn 12. Everything changes when my youngest sister is born. I'm clumsily trying to help with her wet diaper when Mom suddenly shoves me against the wall. The look in her eyes holds both disgust and fear. "What were you trying to do to my daughter? I knew it. You take after that monster of a father. Why didn't you just die with him?" I hold my aching head. For the first time, I don't fight back. I believe she's right. My existence is a mistake. I should never have been alive.

"You begged me to believe you, Elara. I should have. I'll spend the rest of my life paying for not believing you." Elara Voss died alone in a dungeon. Chained, starved, rejected by her own mate, the Alpha King Kaelen Draven. Convicted of a crime she never committed. The crime her sweet step-sister Lyra cried about while wearing Elara's stolen mate mark. In her last breath Elara cursed the Moon Goddess and swore revenge. When she opened her eyes she was eighteen again. The night before her mating ceremony. The night before everything would go wrong. This time she's not the trembling girl who begged Kaelen to love her. This time she walks into the ceremony, looks the Alpha King in the eyes and rejects him first. But the Moon Goddess has a cruel sense of humor. The mate bond didn't break. It snapped back stronger. Now the Alpha who once rejected her can't sleep, can't eat, can't breathe without her. Her step-sister Lyra is terrified she's somehow remembered. And Elara is the one holding every card. She doesn't want his love anymore. She wants him to beg.

I never called my stepbrother, Victor Rossi, "brother." I loved him. In my previous life, I forced him to marry me, and we became the most infamously miserable couple in New Hampston's mafia circles. On Monday, he threw me into a lion's cage after starving the beast for three days. On Tuesday, I tied him to a spinning wheel and forced him to play Russian roulette. He hated me for tearing him away from the woman he loved. I hated him because we had grown up side by side, yet even after ten years of marriage, he could not forget the woman from the fishing village. Even in bed, wrapped around each other, we hurled the cruelest curses at one another. When the cruise ship went up in flames, Victor gave me his chance to live. He shoved me onto the last lifeboat, his voice gentler than it had ever been. "This life was exhausting. I don't want to fight with you anymore. Live well. In the next life, let me go." I watched the fire swallow him along with the ship. The deep sea buried everything. The light in my eyes went out with it. I threw myself into the freezing water and ended that absurd, painful life with my own hands. When I opened my eyes again, I returned to the moment I forced him to marry me. In this life, I would not destroy us both. As I watched him kneel before me, defiant even in the face of death, I did not drive away the woman he loved as I had before. "I will let you have her." Under Victor's stunned gaze, my eyes reddened as I spoke softly. "This time, I am the one who does not want you."

I was the world’s last mermaid. At birth, I was granted three wishes by God. I used the first when my boyfriend, Alex Zane, was dying. I offered up the child in my womb and my fertility in exchange for him to live a long and healthy life, untouched by illness or disaster. I used the second when the Zane family was going bankrupt. I offered up all my power and wished for their fortune to be restored and for their future to be secured. When he came to me for the final wish, his childhood sweetheart, Valentina Wilson, was dying in childbirth. After I turned him down, he threw me into a men’s prison. “A dollar a turn. Do whatever you want with her. She can’t get pregnant anyway.” That night, I wept until my voice broke. At dawn, when the light finally crept in, I offered up my life to activate the sacred token and made my final wish. “I wish for all who betrayed me to watch their world burn. Let them lose everything and die a painful, miserable death!”

I have been reborn 999 times, all to save my husband from the woman he can never forget. Each time, he hides the truth from me, only to be tricked by her into entering that room destined to go up in flames. He always dies in the fiery explosion. Nearly a thousand lifetimes pass, and I never once complain, even though loving him tears me apart. However, this time, I have made up my mind. I won't save him. This time, I will watch him die with my own eyes.

It was New Year's Eve. We were streaming live when my brother called. I spoke first, "I wish you peace and a happy, long life." He gave a cold laugh. "Yeah, well, I don't want you to have any of that. I hope you spend the rest of your life in misery." I'd cut him off the year he was flat broke. Now that he was successful, this was the first thing he did—get back at me. I kept my tone calm. "I wish you peace and a happy, long life." He sounded annoyed. "Cut it out. There's no way I'm wishing you well. If I have to say something, then I hope you stay miserable forever." The host hesitated, then chimed in, "Ben, that was just a recording of Hailey's message. And yes, when she left… she was in a lot of pain and quite miserable, just like you hoped for."