How Does 'This Is How It Always Is' Handle Transgender Themes?

2025-06-19 16:34:21
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4 Answers

Kate
Kate
Favorite read: Just The Way You Are
Twist Chaser Data Analyst
Laurie Frankel's 'This Is How It Always Is' tackles transgender themes with a blend of raw honesty and tender nuance. The story follows Claude, a young child who realizes she’s meant to be a girl named Poppy, and her family’s journey to support her identity. The novel doesn’t shy away from the messy, painful realities—schoolyard bullying, medical dilemmas, and societal judgment—but it also celebrates small victories: a parent’s unwavering love, a sibling’s quiet allyship, or the relief of finding a safe space.

What sets the book apart is its refusal to simplify. Poppy’s transition isn’t a linear 'before and after' but a mosaic of setbacks and discoveries. Frankel explores how identity evolves, not just for Poppy but for her family, who grapple with their own fears and biases. The prose balances clinical details (hormone blockers, therapy sessions) with poetic metaphors, like comparing gender to a story that keeps rewriting itself. It’s a prismatic look at transness—neither purely tragic nor sugarcoated, but achingly human.
2025-06-20 07:33:29
15
Hannah
Hannah
Favorite read: Forever Always
Reviewer Firefighter
Frankel approaches transgender identity with a rare mix of warmth and grit. 'This Is How It Always Is' shows the daily negotiations Poppy makes—choosing bathrooms, explaining herself to friends, weathering dysphoria. The family’s move to more liberal Seattle contrasts starkly with their conservative hometown, underscoring how geography shapes safety. Frankel avoids villainizing anyone; even well-meaning characters stumble, reflecting real-world complexity. The story’s heartbeat is resilience—Poppy’s stubborn joy, her brothers’ protective instincts, and her parents’ messy, fierce love.
2025-06-20 17:32:10
6
Xavier
Xavier
Expert Lawyer
The book redefines 'normal' by centering a trans child’s life without sensationalism. Poppy’s struggles—school forms, swimsuits, sleepovers—are rendered with mundane yet piercing detail. Frankel juxtaposes medical jargon (puberty blockers, therapy) with fairy tales Claude invents, mirroring how kids frame their own narratives. It’s not about 'becoming' a girl but being one, despite the world’s noise. A quiet revolution in ink.
2025-06-23 14:42:06
17
Book Guide Doctor
This novel is a masterclass in empathy, weaving transgender themes into a family saga that feels both specific and universal. Claude/Poppy’s journey is framed through her parents’ eyes—their desperation to 'fix' things, their guilt over missteps, and their gradual understanding that love means listening, not controlling. Frankel nails the microaggressions: the relative who insists 'it’s just a phase,' the strangers misgendering Poppy with a smile. But she also highlights joy: the glittery euphoria of a first dress, the thrill of being seen. The book’s brilliance lies in its contradictions—it’s heartbreaking yet hopeful, educational but never preachy.
2025-06-23 22:21:32
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Is 'This Is How It Always Is' based on a true story?

3 Answers2025-06-19 03:36:09
I recently read 'This Is How It Always Is' and was struck by how real it felt, but no, it's not based on a specific true story. Laurie Frankel crafted this novel from her own experiences as a parent of a transgender child, blending personal insight with fiction. The emotional authenticity comes through in every page—the confusion, love, and fierce protectiveness feel raw and genuine. While the characters and events are fictional, the struggles mirror real-life challenges many families face. It's those universal truths about identity, acceptance, and family dynamics that make the story resonate so deeply. Frankel's background adds layers of credibility without tying the narrative to one specific case.
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