Chapter 3

I stepped out of the car, and for the first time in my life, the sound of my heels on the floor felt like an announcement.

Usually, when I walked through these parking lot gates, I was hunched over, trying to make my body as small as possible so the world wouldn't notice I existed. But today, the sun hit my blonde hair, and I could feel the eyes of every guy in the senior lot trailing after me. It was an intoxicating feeling.

"Chloe! Over here!"

I turned. Jaxon was leaning against his sleek black Jeep, his arms crossed over his chest. Seeing him usually made my heart do a strange, fan-girl somersault, but today, all I could see was the boy from the party. The boy who thought my face was a "mistake."

I walked toward him, keeping my spine straight.

"Hey," I said. My voice was smooth, melodic, and lacked the stutter I’d carried since middle school.

Jaxon walked closer, his eyes scanning my face. "Wait. I thought you said you had a massive breakout? You told me you looked gross and that’s why I couldn't pick you up."

He reached out, his thumb brushing my jawline as if checking for a mask. "You look… perfect. Better than yesterday, actually. What did you do?"

I pulled back just an inch, a tiny movement, but in the language of high school royalty, it was a slap in the face. I saw the flash of confusion in his eyes. He wasn't used to Chloe pulling away.

"Maybe I just needed a little space to find, Jaxon," I said. "A girl’s gotta keep some secrets, right?"

"Whatever," he muttered, though he looked bothered. "Let’s just get to class. Mark’s been texting me about some party Friday."

As we walked toward the double glass doors of the main entrance, I saw a girl huddled by the lockers. She was wearing an oversized, pilled hoodie that smelled like my mother’s laundry detergent. Her dark hair was a mess, and her thick glasses were sliding down her nose.

It was Chloe.

She looked small. People were walking past her, some intentionally bumping her shoulder, others just pretending she was part of the wall. I saw Sarah, one of Chloe’s "best friends," whisper something to another girl and point at the girl in the hoodie. They laughed.

Chloe’s eyes met mine. They were wide with a terror I knew all too well. She looked at Jaxon, her hand reaching out as if to grab his sleeve, but then she remembered. She pulled her hand back and tucked it into her pocket, staring at the floor.

Jaxon didn't even glance at her. To him, she was just another "mistake" in the hallway.

"Wait up," I told Jaxon. "I need to go to my locker."

"I thought your locker was the other way?" Jaxon asked, annoyed.

"I moved some stuff. Go ahead, I'll catch you at lunch."

He shrugged and walked off. I waited until he was out of sight before I grabbed Chloe by the arm and pulled her into a nearby empty classroom.

"Are you okay?" I whispered.

"No! I'm not okay!" Chloe hissed, her voice cracking. "Some girl just pushed me into a locker and called me 'grease trap.' Maya, I can't do this. I can't be you for another hour. People are mean! Why are they so mean to you?"

A dark giggle bubbled up in my throat. I couldn't help it. "Now you get it. That was my Tuesday, Chloe. Every Tuesday. And Wednesday. And every other day you spent holding Jaxon’s hand while he made fun of my retainers."

Chloe flinched. "I didn't know it was that bad. I thought... I thought you just didn't mind."

"Everyone minds, Chloe." I checked my reflection in the teacher’s desk mirror, admiring the way the light hit my clear forehead. "Just stay low. Don't talk to anyone.

"Meet me at the back of the cafeteria at lunch. Don't sit at the popular table. If you sit there, they’ll shred you."

"But that's my table!"

"Not today it isn't," I said, turning to walk out. "Today, I'm the star."

The rest of the morning was a feeling power. In Pre-Calc, I didn't hide my paper. When the guy behind me tried to poke my shoulder to ask for an answer, I didn't giggle and give it to him like Chloe usually did. I turned around and gave him a look so cold he actually apologized.

I walked into the cafeteria and the noise level seemed to drop. I felt like a queen walking toward her throne. I sat down at the center table, the "Power Table." Sarah and Brittany were already there, picking at salads.

"Hey, Chlo," Sarah said, eyeing my dress. "Love the fit. You look different today. Did you get a facial or something? Your skin is literally glowing."

"Just a change in perspective," I said, taking a bite of an apple.

I looked toward the back of the room. There, sitting at a sticky table near the trash cans, was my old body. She looked miserable.

"Ugh, look at Pizza Face over there," Brittany sneered, nodding toward Chloe. "She’s actually sitting in public. Someone should tell her the circus is in town."

Usually, Chloe would laugh. Usually, Chloe would add a jab of her own.

I looked at Chloe, then back at Brittany. A surge of protectiveness hit me, but it was quickly swallowed by a much stronger urge. I wanted to see how far this went. I wanted to see the world from the top of the mountain.

"Leave her alone," I said, my voice quiet.

Sarah laughed. "Aw, you're still doing that 'save the losers' thing? Jaxon told us what happened at the party. He said you were so brave for even touching her hand to drag her out."

I felt a sting of bile in my throat. Brave? He thought she was brave for being my friend?

"Jaxon says a lot of things," I replied.

Just then, Jaxon walked over, dropping his bag on the table and sliding an arm around my waist. He looked at me, then followed my gaze to the girl at the back of the room.

"Still obsessed with the freak, babe?" 

Jaxon joked, loud enough for the tables nearby to hear. "Hey, Nakamura! You lose your glasses again? Or did you finally realize they didn't help you see how ugly you are?"

The cafeteria erupted in laughter. I saw Chloe’s shoulders shake. I saw tears roll down her face. I should have stood up and defended her.

But as Jaxon pulled me closer, his expensive cologne filling my senses, and as the most popular, everyone in school waited for my reaction.

I looked at Jaxon and kissed him.

"She really is a mess, isn't she?" I whispered.

The words felt like ash in my mouth, but the look of approval in Jaxon’s eyes was like a drug. I wasn't just Maya Nakamura anymore. Maya was the girl crying by the trash cans. I was Chloe.

I didn't know what was coming, but for the first time in my life, I felt like I was the one holding the bottle. And I was going to make it spin exactly where I wanted.

And as the clock ticked toward the afternoon, I realized I wasn't sure if I ever wanted to switch back.