Chapter 2

Callum

After a busy day at my dispensaries, and some private deliveries of

herbs and edibles (Valentine’s Day week is one of my busiest periods outside of Christmas), I finally make it to Vail Ridge.

To escape the swirling snow,I push in through the main doors of the lodge and I immediately see my friend Dex, his brother Reid, and their

respective girlfriends Wren and Petra.

Girlfriends they met at The Velvet Accord during Christmas. I raise a hand in greeting.

Dex saunters over and gives his customary, “‘Sup, Callum?” “I’m freezing, that’s what’s up.”

I try my best to smile even though my face has gone numb from the cold. I manage to grin, but it’s uneasy. Half-baked.

Wren waves and smiles hello. Her ring twinkles and flashes everywhere. It’s like a handheld ten-carat strobe, constantly reminding me of what I don’t have. The way the diamond twinkles, it’s like it’s laughing at me. Laughing because I'm unable to find happiness for myself.

Petra’s ring is big too, but she’s past the point of needing to show it off to everyone, everywhere, and at every angle. Wren isn’t past that phase yet. She’s not likely to be for the next year, and probably not even after she gets married.

“Come sit by the fire,” Dex says.

I follow him toward some cushy, leather seating by the crackling log- filled fire. A woody scent of Cedar and Oak wafts from the smoking flames.

“What took you so long?” he asks.

Wren follows behind us, saying, “Yeah, Callum.” I catch her big eyes briefly, just as Dex sits me down on an overstuffed leather chair closest to the fire.

As Wren and Dex sit down on a couch across from me (the same

couch Reid and Petra are cuddled up on) she adds, “we were worried sick about you. You weren't answering our calls. Thought maybe you got in an

accident.”

“Or pulled over by the fashion police,” Reid says, gesturing towards my big fur coat. “What’s up with that, anyway? You look like a discount-store

pimp.” Reid laughs, cracking himself up, and doesn't stop until Petra swats his arm. “Yet another reason you can’t get a girl,” he continues. You dress in more frills than they do.”

I blush deeply. Angrily. Sure, the coat’s a tad ostentatious. Over the top with all the fur and the huge neckline. But I don’t look or feel like a

discount pimp. This coat is fucking cool. Definitely worth the ten-plus grand I spent on it. I deserved it especially after I spent so much money on everyone else during Christmas.

I glare at Reid, who now seems to be on the receiving end of a lecture from Petra. First, he wants to bust my balls about wearing my baseball cap. Now it ’s my coat. I sniff loudly. To get his attention, and to present him with body language that says, “I don’t give two fucks about you.”

I clear my throat, and say, “Whatever, man. Discount pimp or not, you’re just fucking jealous, that’s what you are.” I pause, flapping the edges of the coat luxuriously. Showing off just how fuzzy they are. How plush.

“You wish you had money to spend on this kind of shit, and you know it.”

Reid bats my accusation away, and I let it go.

My attention’s been brought back to Wren and Petra. How happy they look cuddled into the arms of their chosen ones. And how happy my friend’s look to have their one true loves completing them. Filling what was once empty.

Not gonna lie. It ’dbe great to have what they have, I think, stifling any hint of a sigh.

If Dex or Reid suspect a hint of yearning from me, it’ll be yet another thing to tease me about.

I would love to have someone in my life who looks at me the way the Petra and Wren look at my friends, but all the women I’ve ever been with aren’t really women. They’re girls. Pillow princesses looking at me to give and give and give, without once being willing to ever take charge. To not just demand things from me, but to let me serve them, to spoil them.

My mind wanders to the type of women I get easily. The ones who fall into my bed with a snap of my fingers are airheads. Silly. Shallow. Their breast implants have more personality than they do.

None of those “women” have done anything special for me. Nothing unique or different. Just release. A place to put my tensions until they want more weed or another gift. I suppress another sigh.

My eyes wander to Wren, who’s now absorbed in saying something to Dex. Leaning forward to nuzzle him. I’m afraid I’ll never experience what Dex has. A woman who’s willing to be a place for him to put his stresses. His fears. Someone he can be himself with. I let my mind touch the edge of something I haven’t wanted to admit to myself. My need for control and

obedience.

Dex’s eyes catch me looking lost. Deep in thought. He must think I have more depression than brains, because he says, “Don’t look so down,

Callum. We promised this weekend was gonna be your weekend to have a bit of fun, but you can’t have any fun if you just sit there like that.” He mimics what I must look like. Sitting with my shoulders slumped, and my face set in a serious expression.

I pop out of my thoughts, slipping my mask of sarcasm and untouchability on. “Is that so, asshole?”

Reid smirks in my direction. Even as he cuddles Petra to him, I see that look in his eyes again: the look that says he’s about to enjoy another

moment of roasting me. "You need a woman to beat some sense into your

"

scrawny ass.

“ So this weekend is supposed to be about me?I couldn’t tell. What, with all the busting you guys are doing.”

Petra gives me a soft, meaningful smile. “Don’t mind them. I’m

sure you’ll find someone this time around, Callum,” she says. “I thought I was going to be single forever too, but I found him.” She plays lovingly with the tufts of Reid’s hair.

“Third time’s the charm,” Dex agrees, bending in to kiss Wren on the cheek, and then her little button nose.

“But only because my brother and I have already been taken,” Reid chimes in, “so the ladies aren’t going to be distracted by us any longer.”

I shrug off part of my coat from my shoulders. Though this is

“typical” joking for Reid, I’m not stomaching it well right now. I’m not able to take it any other way other than seriously.

“Oh, yeah, because anything else other than your macho, virile self is second best, is that it?” The venom I hear in my voice is not surprising to me,

but it is surprising to Dex. To Petra. To Wren.

Both girls give Reid a warning glance. They disconnect from their better halves for a moment, sitting forward to comfort me.

“You have a lot of good qualities,” Petra says earnestly.

“Totally cute and adorable qualities,” Wren adds, “ones I know will be number one on some lucky lady’s list, Callum.” Unlike with most girls who look like Wren — full figured and fit — she’s amazingly genuine. Sincere,

despite her “sex kitten” vibe at times.

“For sure,” Petra echoes.

I look away and down, rubbing the back of my head nervously. I’m not comfortable with girls complimenting me like this. Especially not girls who are now my friend’s fiancées.

“Yeah,” I say, though it probably sounds more like a grunt to them.

“I’m serious.” That’s Wren. I look up, just in time to see her give Dex a meaningful look that says, help me out here, would you?

“Don’t worry, Callum,” Dex pipes up. “There are plenty of girls with different appetites at the The Velvet Accord where were planning to take you.”

I sigh, pretty sure that third time at the Club will equal a strikeout, not a charm.

“A girl is definitely going to like what you have to offer, Callum,” Wren says, pouring her heart into it now.

Reid raises an eyebrow. “Oh, so you like punks now?”

Wren doesn’t give him the satisfaction. “Yes,” she snaps back, as if she’s as tired of her fiancé’s brother as I am.

Reid crosses one leg over the other, then crosses his arms over his

chest. Petra remains seated apart from him though still within arm’s reach.

“Just so everyone knows right now,” Reid says, “I was joking when I said he should find a woman to beat some sense into him.” He glances at

Petra, then Wren. “With how serious everybody is suddenly, it begs to be said.”

Wren catches Reid’s fleeting gaze. “I still don’t think that’s a bad

idea,” she says. Meaningfully, she grabs Dex’s hand. Intertwines her fingers in his. “Well, maybe not with whips. But plenty of women like to be in

charge, you know.”

Reid grimaces.

Wren rolls her eyes at him before looking at me. She gives me a small,

encouraging smile before she showers Dex with more kisses. More caresses.

As I’m left to sit there by the fire watching my friends ’ lovefest, I

become aware of something stirring in me. Curiosity. Intrigue at the idea Wren keeps throwing around and Reid keeps wanting to not take seriously.

Being under someone’s control. Though I didn’t want to go there

moments before, now my mind can’t stop exploring the possibility.

Imagining what it would be like to give myself over completely to a woman. A real one. A woman with depth. Age. Experience. Hair in all the right

places, who isn’t afraid to tell me not only what she wants from me, but what I can do for her.

I shift in my seat. I might do just that. I might let a woman have her way with me. I glance at Reid, feeling a little resentful. Manliness doesn’t always mean ordering around. Sometimes it means submitting totally and completely to a woman who deserves it.