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He Destroyed My Life Yet I Craved Him
He Destroyed My Life Yet I Craved Him
Author: Tamara’s Diary

Chapter 1

last update publish date: 2026-05-06 01:42:59

Brielle

“The boss is waiting you,” My colleague, Adrian tells me as soon as I come through the front door.

“Shit!” I curse low under my breath, brushing my hair out of my face as I cast a look down my clothes, realizing that it was rumpled.

“How long has he been waiting?” I asked as I tried my best to straighten it out.

This is what fighting with Alesia gets me…fifteen minutes late, looking like I just came out of a fight with a wild animal.

“Not long,” Adrian glanced at me. “Oh, you've got…um, a piece of fruit on your jacket.”

My eyes widened as I hastily brushed it off, letting out a slew of curses. “Thanks!”

When I got the email that my boss, Thomas Harrison, Head of Harrison Security, wanted to see me first thing this morning, I instantly jumped to the worst conclusion.

Was he going to fire or demote me?

I've been a stellar employee since I started working here two years ago and I tried my best not to go out of line.

I hoped that he wasn't trying to fire me though. This was the only job that allowed me a bit of time to spend with my baby girl, Alessia. Squaring my shoulders, I pushed through the door and walked right in, plastering a smile on my face. “You called for me, sir?”

Thomas Harrison looked up, his face stern as always and raised a hand, speaking to someone over the phone. “I'll get back to you, Lorna.”

He spent the next few seconds listening in and then gave me his full attention. “Miss Arwen, thanks for meeting me. Please sit.”

“Thank you, sir.” My nerves were all tied up and I wished he would just put me out of my misery and tell me what was going on.

“Now I'm sure you have a lot today with workwise so I'll get straight to the point.” He informs me, leaning forward. “I'm pulling you out of your previous assignment and attaching you to a new one. I know you've not worked with us for too long but your results have been outstanding. However this is top secret and I have to ask, are you ready to take this on?”

My first response was to say yes but I took a beat and thought it through.

I never hid the fact that I was a single mother and how stressful it could be… case in point, what happened this morning.

“You'll be spending long hours away from home and in the event that you might have to go undercover, that could be pursued too. Are you ready for all of that?”

The answer was no.

Already, I had missed so much of Alessia’s life when she was growing up that it only made me want to cling to her even more but then again, this is what I've been working towards for the past few years.

I've given so much of my life to other people that I wanted to do things for me in this phase of my life and no one else. Maybe that was was prompted me to say yes. “Yes, sir… I'll do it.”

He nodded. “Alright then, I'll send the details to you shortly.”

I took that as a sign of dismissal and promptly got to my feet. “Sir, I am…very grateful for this opportunity and I promise you you won't regret it.”

“Just make sure I don't.” Then he gestured towards the door which was my cue to walk out.

As I did, I kept my head down, walking down the hallway, mulling over the Harrison's words when my phone buzzed.

It was my personal line and only very few people had access to it.

I didn't even glance at the caller ID, stabbing the answer button. “What is it?”

“Calm down, I just wanted to tell you that Alessia wants to organise a sleepover with Jamie.” My best friend, Camilla joked around. “Are you cool with that?”

I pressed a hand to my chest. “Geez, you have say things quickly. I thought you were calling for another reason.”

“No, I'm not, Mama bear.” She teased. “So how did the meeting with your boss go?”

“Honestly, better than I expected. He actually asked me on a new gig.”

Camila let out a squeal. “And are you going to take it?”

I paused for a moment as I sat down on my desk. “Yeah, I am. If this goes well, then I'm already on the next step to my career which is all I've ever wanted.”

“I'm super proud of you, Bri…” Camila told me, her voice softening with warmth. “I know how hard you worked for this, ever since… you know…”

My chest twisted as painful memories I had suppressed a few years back tried to float up back but I shoved it down. I looked away, clearing my throat. “Yeah…uh, thanks.”

I wasn't so good with the emotional parts of things so I tried to skip it altogether. “I've got to go, I'll call you later?”

“Sure, I love you!” She called out, her cheery tone forcing me to mumble the words out before ending the call.

“Agent Cam, the boss said I should hand this over to you.” Another colleague of mine, Jack dropped a stack of files on my desk before sauntering off.

This must be it.

The new case.

I took a bite of my muffin and a sip of my coffee, and delved straight into work.

Thirty minutes in, I realised that this wasn't like most jobs I've been on.

For one, we were being hired by another client who suspected Mario Inc, a large tech corporation of illegal dealings and wanted us to bring whatever evidence we found to limelight.

I went through my cover for the next few months, combing through every fine detail, and then I progressed towards the CEO of Mario Inc’s profile.

I used to pride myself for being unmovable and unshakable in the face of several challenges and despite everything I've overcome, I like to think that I've gotten used to tough situations but when I flipped the cover of the brief, and my eyes connected with the man's picture.

Everything that I've spent years and lots of money on therapy sprang back up with intensity, so much that I had to slam the cover closed, gasping as I struggled to draw in air.

My throat closed up, and it felt like oxygen could not longer get to my brain.

Fuck.

I bent over, putting my head between my legs so I didn't faint or pass out.

Tears welled in my eyes as I tried to scrub the man's picture from my brain.

I failed because that's a face that I would never forget.

Marcello Hayes…the man that murdered my parents.

And the same man I was to investigate.

No, this can't be happening…

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  • He Destroyed My Life Yet I Craved Him    Chapter 30

    THE WITNESSBRIELLEIgnoring the obvious threat message, I pushed through the entrance and immediately felt cool air wash over me.The lobby was busy enough that nobody paid much attention to another person walking through the doors.Phones rang behind the reception. Elevators opened and closed in steady intervals. Conversations overlapped with the soft click of heels crossing polished floors.Everything looked the same.For months, I had moved through this building without giving it a second thought.I headed toward the reception.The woman behind the desk looked up from her monitor and recognition flashed across her face almost immediately.“Ms Arwen.”“Good evening.”“Good evening.”Her smile remained perfectly professional, but there was something guarded behind it that hadn’t been there before.I rested a hand lightly on the counter.“I was hoping you could help me with something.”“I can try.”The answer sounded harmless enough, but it already felt like the beginning of a refusa

  • He Destroyed My Life Yet I Craved Him    Chapter 29

    Back in ItalyBrielleThe flight landed just after sunrise.By the time I stepped out of the airport, the sky had become that pale grey-blue shade that always seemed to come before a proper morning. The air felt different from New York’s, cleaner, cooler, carrying a familiarity I hadn’t expected to notice so quickly.I stood beside the curb for a moment with one hand wrapped around the handle of my suitcase, watching taxis pull in and out of the pickup lane while travellers hurried past me in every direction.The suspension from Marcello's company was still hanging over my head. Christopher was still dead. None of that had changed. And yet, despite everything, I had boarded a plane and come back anyway.Because sitting in New York waiting for phone calls and updates clearly wasn’t getting me anywhere.A taxi pulled up in front of me.The driver leaned across the passenger seat and lowered the window.“Taxi?”I nodded and loaded my suitcase into the back.The apartment looked exactly h

  • He Destroyed My Life Yet I Craved Him    Chapter 28

    Back to Italy“You really need to stop barging into my office, Ms Brielle Arwen,” Thomas said without looking up when I walked in, his pen still moving steadily across the paper like my presence was just another part of the background noise he had learned to work through.I closed the door behind me, not gently enough to be careless and not hard enough to be aggressive, just enough to signal that I wasn’t planning on leaving quickly.“Good morning to you too,” I replied, and that finally earned me a look from him. It wasn’t friendly, it was tired, like he already knew I was about to drain his patience.“You didn’t schedule this,” he said.“I knocked,” I answered.He stopped writing at that, finally setting the pen down. “After you opened the door.”I gave a small shrug of apology. “I was impatient.”“That’s not new,” he muttered, already leaning back slightly in his chair as if preparing himself for whatever I had brought in with me.I stepped further into the office, taking in the fa

  • He Destroyed My Life Yet I Craved Him    Chapter 27

    The GapBrielleThe email sat open on my laptop long after the call ended.I had already looked at the image more times than I could count, but my eyes kept returning to it anyway. It showed Christopher walking out of the building alive, caught in a single frozen frame. The timestamp in the corner read 18:42, clear enough to make the whole thing feel real in a way Thomas’s phone call never had.I zoomed in again.The image blurred briefly before sharpening. Christopher looked relaxed apart from the limping. He wasn’t rushing anywhere, and there was nothing nervous or distracted about the way he carried himself.One hand rested in his coat pocket while his head tilted slightly downward, as though he were reading something on his phone or thinking about where he needed to be next.Nothing about him looked like a man walking toward his death.I leaned back in my chair and rubbed at my eyes.The apartment was quiet. Alessia had disappeared into her room hours ago, and Camilla had gone out

  • He Destroyed My Life Yet I Craved Him    Chapter 26

    The Last TimestampBrielle“Mommy, you’re cheating,” Alessia said.I looked up from the board and found her pointing at me from across the small table. I frowned a little, already tired of the accusation.“I am not cheating.”“You moved twice.”“I moved once.”“Twice.”“Once.”Camilla snorted into her mug, watching us like she was enjoying it more than she should.“I watched you do it Bri.”I stared at both of them for a second.Traitors.Alessia immediately grinned and pushed one of the game pieces forward with the confidence of someone who had already decided she was winning no matter what I said.For the first time in what felt like forever, I wasn’t thinking about investigations, suspensions, or Christopher. I was thinking about how a six-year-old had somehow become impossible to beat at board games.“Your turn,” Alessia said.I looked down at the board again, then back at her, narrowing my eyes slightly. “I’m starting to think you’re making up rules.”“That’s because you’re losin

  • He Destroyed My Life Yet I Craved Him    Chapter 25

    Last ContactBrielleThe room didn’t change after Thomas said it, but I did. At least something inside me did, because “Christopher is dead” didn’t feel like information.It felt like something that hadn’t fully landed yet, like my brain was still waiting for another version of the sentence that would make it less impossible.But there wasn’t one. Just silence on his end and noise on mine.Alessia’s voice came in the background asking Camilla something about a cartoon, mixed with the faint sound of movement in the living room.I stood still, gripping the phone tighter. My mouth opened, but nothing came out at first because it didn’t feel real enough to respond to.Then I forced it.“…say that again.”My voice sounded flat and detached, like it didn’t belong to me.Thomas didn’t hesitate this time.“Christopher is dead.”There was no softness in how he said it. No pausing just finality.I closed my eyes for a second, not because I was emotional, but because my body needed something to

  • He Destroyed My Life Yet I Craved Him    Chapter 7

    THE DEMOTIONBrielleThe floor was cold.It crept through my palms the moment I hit the floor, taking the breath I didn’t even realise I was holding.For a second, I just… stayed there.Staring at the table legs.The polished shoes, the blur of expensive fabric and shocked faces.Then reality snapp

  • He Destroyed My Life Yet I Craved Him    Chapter 6

    Loose EndsBrielleI didn’t sleep that night.Every time I closed my eyes, I saw green.Marcello’s eyes. Cold and Familiar in a way that made my skin crawl and ache at the same time.And then I’d hear it again.House fire.Jacob did well by killing his parents…I sat up in bed and pressed my palms

  • He Destroyed My Life Yet I Craved Him    Chapter 5

    The Ghost of Eight YearsBrielleI stayed in that bathroom stall even after Arlo and Lorna left.My hands squeezed the mop handle so tightly my knuckles turned white while my brain replayed every single word they said.Jacob did well by killing his parents in that house fire.The words bounced arou

  • He Destroyed My Life Yet I Craved Him    Chapter 4

    Present Day…Brielle“Here's your badge, Miss Atwick. Do you have your schedule?” The cleaning manager, Carlo Rossi asked me, handing over a badge that displayed my ID and granted me access throughout the building of Mario's Inc headquarters.It's the largest building I've seen in Italy and that's

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