LOGINI'm on the basketball pitch. The one outside is easier to practice on. That and because girl's are using it for cheerleading practice. I'm bouncing my ball round the pitch, getting ready to score when someone trips me. I loose both my balance and the amazing shot.
“What the actual fuck?!." I'm ready to throw hands but quiet down when I see my brother, Archer. “Is that how you talk to your brother huh? You're such a disrespectful brat." He does that stupid finger spin thing with the ball that seems to be getting all the girls attention. I roll my eyes. He's such an attention slut. " You didn't have to trip me. What is it?“ " Dad is coming home this weekend. Mom wants us to be there for a little dinner party.“ Dad works at some oil drilling company off shore. He's almost never home, but when he is, mom cooks a feast and invites all her friends. Where she brags about her amazing and brilliant son, Archie. Archie's trophies, his wonderful girlfriend. Everything. "I'll probably have some party on Saturday. Tell her I love her but I can't make it.“ " Can you stop being a party animal for one second? You'll have liver damage before you turn 28.“ Archie says almost looking concerned. He still looks at me like he did when we were kids. I hate it. I snatch my ball back and continue bouncing it. "If you're here to talk about my drinking habits that actually don't concern you in any way, don't bother.“ “B-" “Where's your girlfriend Archie, go disturb her. I'm busy here." My brother looks at me long and hard, nothing bitter in his gaze. He looks concerned like I'd drive my car off a cliff. It happened only once. And I apologized. “Madeleine is attending a class right now. I'll tell her you said hi. I'm leaving." “Go on." He leaves like the conversation is over. We've been having this conversation since my sophomore year in highschool. Mom and dad had a huge problem. They were arguing so often I thought the were going to get a divorce. It was after my sister, Angie's death. I took my first sip of alcohol and I hadn't stopped since then. I'm tired of running around and bouncing the ball so I lay on the ground. My eyes are closed as I try to steady my breathing but I can feel someone hovering over me. I don't need to know who it is. Her perfume tells it all. “Are you done with your classes for the day?“ I feel Ria sit beside me. "Yeah. Professor Marcus is still as hot as ever. “ I turn to glare at my best friend and she looks at me defensively. "What? You know he's hot. Admitting it is your problem.“ Yes. Admitting it is my problem. Professor Marcus is one of the sexiest men to walk on the planet. He ages like wine as his olive skin just seems to keep glowing and glowing. I don't hide anything from Ria, but this, is to my grave. “I'll let you believe whatever you want.“ She removed her note from her bookbag to start a little study session. Ria is majoring in Human Kinetics and I'm doing Journalism, but she tries her very best to involve me in whatever she learnt that day. As long as she's happy, I am. “Have you talked to your boyfriend since your little fight?“ She asks when she's tired of reading. My boyfriend and I had a huge fight that resulted in being kicked out. I had to seek refuge in Madeleine's off campus condo. " Nope. I'm planning to go later this night though. There's a party and I'm one of the MVP'S, I can't miss it. “ Ria rolls her eyes like she's tired of me. Her green eyes reflect in the sunlight as she rolls them. It reminds me of the first time I met Ria. People refused to talk to her because of her red hair and bright green eyes, I approached her but instead of doing something cool, I tripped and fell on her. We've been friends since. "Is there any party you can actually miss? “ " What can we say sweetheart? I'm important.“ I stand up, very ready to go take a shower. "I'm leaving now. Do you have another class today? “ " Nah. Just some executives meeting. It concerns your basketball team this time around." “For once, the student council has use. I'm heading to Madeleine's right now. Talk to you later. “ "Don't forget to apologize to him, “ she hollers. How can I ever forget to apologize to the love of my life. And the fact that I'm at fault is an added bonus. My bike isn't parked far away from the field so I get to it with ease. My bike is another baby of mine. I've loved her since the first day I got her and we're still going strong. The only other person I've let touch my bike is my boyfriend. And I was semi pissed at him. Not fully because he looked so sexy on it. I get on and drive to Madeleine's. Unfortunately, Archie is there in his girlfriend's house. I roll my eyes at him hoping he gets the message. He does because he doesn't say anything. “Hey sis." Madeline is basically my sister in-law. Ander had introduced her to us since his second year of college, and he's in his final uear. He plans to propose to he once he's graduated and everything. “Hi," she shines her pearly whites at me and I pretend to be lovestruck. It's our dynamic and it so pisses my brother off. Like it is now. “Okay okay. I'll get out of you hair now. I need to shower and get dressed. I'm going out. “ I retreat into her guest bedroom that has been my zoar for the past few days and strip. My phone buzzes with messages but that's not something new. I only read and respond to the necessary ones. Like Kyle, asking me what time I'm going to arrive. It's barely over 4 pm so I tell him I'll be there in an hour or so. I jump in the shower, making sure I use the bath wash, shampoo and cologne the love of my life likes. Maybe it'll earn me some bonus points By the time I'm done being pretty, it's 6 pm. I run outside to wear my shoes and wish I could gauge out my eyeballs. Madeline and Ander have their tongues down each other's throats. “Eww. Get a room." Archie hurls a throw pillow at me. “Stop freeloading." I catch the pillow, tossing it aside because and only because Madeleine doesn't like us fighting. “Well, I came to announce that I'm leaving your house. I'm going back to where I'm loved. “ "Awn, but I love you.“ My sis in-law says. I nod placing both hands on my chest. "Of course I know that. But, some people aren't really appreciative of our mutual love. “ I blow her a kiss and Ander is officially pissed. "Weren't you going to ruin your liver? Get out of here. “ I raise my hands in surrender. Just because Archie found the house and paid the rent doesn't mean he has any rights to it. “I'm only leaving because I'm late and the guys are going to kill me." A final goodbye and I'm flying out of Madeleine's house. The venue is already packed as I get there. I get my first drink from the tray set by the door. That's the only drink of alcohol I remember. The remaining bottles or glasses or shots are a blur. Even how I got home I can't remember. I just hope I haven't crashed into something or killed a person. Going back to the dorms, I don't go to my room, I go to my boyfriend's instead. I'm trying my best not to trip on anything to avoid waking up anybody. It's hard because it's like my feet are made of jelly. Finally, I get to his own room. I open the door very slowly. It's dark but I can make out his silhouette. I remove my shoes and shirt and climb into the bed with him. Throwing my hand over his torso. There I close my eyes.I lied to Vicky when I said I was visiting my mother today. It's Angie I'm going to see. The drive to the cemetery feels insanely strange, not the usual level of strange. I shake off the feeling weighing my shoulders down, and go faster. Since I've quit drinking, instead of the usual bottle we share, I buy her flowers. Angie wasn't a huge fan of flowers, but she'll have to make do. The grass crunches under my feet as I make my way there, then I halt completely. I finally know what that uncomfortable feeling was. It's Archer staring down at my sister, quiet as a mouse. I'm about to throw a fit when I hear whimpering. I pause and not later, he breaks a sob. Archer stands there, crying his eyeballs out and I watch him like a creep. He deserves it honestly. He deserves to see what he actually did. I don't think he's ever come to visit our sister since she died 4 fucking years ago. "It's real isn't it." I didn't want to say anything, but I guess my mouth wasn't in on that idea. Archer
I wake up not dreading the day because Ander is by my side. I turn, moving closer to him and inhaling more of his scent. It's so intoxicating, it does nothing to help my morning wood. I can't do anything about it though because since I agreed to be his friend, Ander hasn't made a move on me sexually. Yes we cuddle and feed each other and can't get enough of the other's presence, but nothing sexual. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad one. Ander shifts in the bed too, turns to face me but isn't awake. I stare at his peaceful face. He never looks like this when he's awake, always has his face scrunched up like an unlubed butt plug was shoved in his ass for too long. I'm tempted to push the curls off his face and I do. Passing my fingers through in a faux attempt to untangle the strands. As much as I hate to admit it, Ander is the reason I'm on this bed right now. If not for him, I probably would be a rotting corpse in the bathtub. Sometimes I consider telling him this truth
If anybody were to call me a crazy person, I wouldn't fight them. Instead, I'd give them a trophy for telling the truth. I am a crazy person, and this realization is driving me even crazier. Why am I crazy? I'm crazy because I'm parked in the driveway of my girlfriend's house. Evana was the 3rd year film student I spilled my drink on when I was drunk off my ass at a party. Unlike the expected reaction, she apologized to me instead and sat with me till I sobered up. She's funny and interesting but I never liked her romantically. I still don't, but somehow it feels like there's this pressure on my shoulders to be perfect. I see Ander with his mood swings and tantrums — things that make him the dysfunctional person he is. But I can't be like that. I'm to be the better son. And the better son likes women. Evana comes out of the house in her usual clothing. A cottage skirt, shirt just a size smaller than hers and loafers. She's modest yet incredibly sexy and I should feel something for
I'm pacing the driveway, my fingernail in my mouth. I don't know, or rather, I know. Heck, what am I even saying?I stare at the keys in my hand. I want to go, but I shouldn't. He hates me, and I don't blame him. But I need to see him. It's an urge so strong my hair is standing like I've been electrocuted. Archer asked me where I was headed this morning and I told him to go fuck himself. His brows creased, not very glad my response was crude. But, it's not my fault. It's one of those days I can't get a single thought in my head. It's hyper fixating on Vicky. My brain that is. And no matter what I do, I can't get it to stop. It's like I'm buzzing so much I'm vibrating. "Are you alright?" My brother yells from the balcony. My balcony. My safe haven. I flip him off and gain enough motivation to get on my bike. I don't drive like a mad man like I normally do. Maybe if I drive slowly, by the time I get there, Vicky would've left for classes and I won't have to face him. Archer's apart
It's yet again the same routine. Wake up, lie in bed till my intestines threaten to rip into pieces then go downstairs. Archer has been feeding me, yes. But sometimes I just can't keep the food in. Last night was one of those times. I puked so much, it took my lungs a whooping 45 minutes to recover. And I tried taking a little whiskey to help with the nausea, but the ass wouldn't let me touch anything. I don't know why he bothers or why it bothers me. I always ask myself questions. Does he care? But I know he doesn't. It's so I'll keep his secret. Today's meal is the leftover pizza from last night. There's 3 slices on a plate, a fruit bowl and yoghurt waiting for my consumption. "There's no need. This isn't a very wise bribe." Archer doesn't answer me, but continues staring at the pizza in the microwave. I shrug and eat. My stomach twists, surprised by the intruders, but I force it down my throat. I felt like I was going to die last night. And honestly, I really don't like that fe
Oh my goodness. I'm awake again. It's not a good thing to dread it, but I do. I wake up starving and run to the kitchen for anything edible or closely related to food. Archer has had groceries sent to me twice so far, so there's a decent amount of ingredients to choose from. I snack on the unopened tube of Pringles before making a cereal then an omelette then some toast. I may be eating a lot, but don't look it. I'm still skinny and maybe even paler than I was before. Checking my class schedule, I have 3 classes today, the first one starting in about an hour. I could skip, like I've been skipping but it's about time I go back to living a normal life. Nothing about the last few months have been normal, and I'm trying to end the trend of crazy. I take a relaxing shower and apply my makeup. It's minimal, just to hide the eye bags and my droopy cheeks. After one last fit check, I leave. My taxi is waiting for me right on time but I get to the class a little late. The professor allows
I'm very okay staying in my room and counting the many things I hate about myself. There's a knock on the door and more than anything, I wish it isn't Ander. It has come to my notice that I can't go anywhere near him without a raging boner. It's embarrassing and inconvenient. "Come in." My voice s
I pretend to be asleep, but I'm wide awake. I can hear Jesse moving his things. He's switching with Magnus . It's not so terrible because Magnus has treated me like a decent person. We don't talk much, that's for sure. But when we do, it's like he's forgiven me.When the room is emptied of Vicky's
My head hurts like a bitch when I open my eyes. I feel nauseous and in pain. There's a woman standing over me. There's something in her hand and I can hear her speaking to me. "Huh?," My speech is slurred. "What's going on?""Oh. He's awake." My vision clears and I realize I'm in a hospital. My fi
I'm actually surprised there's a lot of work to be done on our news project. It's not a film, but according to Aubrey, it has to be perfect. Not many people are needed on set compared to last time, so we're fewer and I'm idle. Finally, Ander's report is good enough for them. "That should do it. I'







