Mag-log inMadelyn Vance
~•~ If I thought Flynn Cahallan was a walking cliché with his tattoos, murder trap disguised as a bike, and his leather jackets, then I was even worse. I couldn’t even tell where they appeared from but two of my friends flocked towards me the moment I pulled over in the parking lot the next week. Hazel and Anna were by my side by the time I opened my car door to step outside. “We missed you at the party last Friday,” Hazel said, linking her arms with mine. I let out an exaggerated sigh. “My parents think I should focus more on school now that it’s senior year.” I gave them the same excuse my parents gave me last Friday night, which I didn’t entirely believe, but it was too convenient not to use. “Maybe if my parents held me to the same standard as your parents did you, I’d be smarter,” Anna said wistfully. I rolled my eyes with a fond smile on my face, which lasted until Lucas’ car pulled in beside mine. “Are we mad at him?” Hazel leaned in to whisper in my ear as we stopped walking. I nodded. “Well, I guess we’ll just wait for you by your locker. Have a nice talk.” She nodded towards Lucas’s car and in less than a second, they disappeared. By the time I looked away from their retreating backs and back in front of me, Lucas was already out of his car. “Mads,” he started. He was the only person who called me that and he thought it was cute, but I didn’t really resonate with the nickname. “About last Friday…” I didn’t care to tell him though. The same way I realized I wasn’t in the mood for his excuses. It wasn’t the first time he was letting me down, which was why I forced a smile on my face, making sure it came out more pleasant than I felt when I spoke. “It’s fine.” It was much easier than explaining to him that he shouldn’t pick me up if he wasn’t sure he could return me to my house. “It’s not fine, I know that.” He touched my elbow lightly, pulling me into him. “The scouts ran long. I had no idea it would go that late or I would have made better plans. I was even late to the—“ “Lucas.” I looked at him, taking an unnoticeable step back. “Really. It’s fine.” It wasn’t like we were dating. My parents were hypocrites and we weren’t allowed to date. Not yet, at least. But they expected me to date him as soon as we wrote our final exams next year. He studied me for a moment as if he was trying to determine whether I meant it or not. “I’ll make it up to you,” he said finally, his blue eyes shining with a promise I wasn’t sure if it was worth holding on to or not. “Whatever you want.” I nodded, just to get the conversation over with. He smiled then, showing the dimples that every girl in the school was obsessed with. “So how did you get home then? I still kind of feel bad.” “One of the girls gave me a ride,” I said, trying to sound as noncommittal as possible. “Just like you said.” The lie slipped out of my mouth effortlessly. I didn’t know why, but my brain told me not to mention Flynn. I didn’t want to have to explain why I had to ask Flynn of all people to give me a ride on his bike. Lucas was usually friendly with everyone, but his lips thinned whenever Flynn was the topic of conversation, which was a rare occasion, but I noticed it anyway. Aside from Lucas’ mysterious grievances with Flynn, it felt like a private moment between us that I wanted to hold on to. Lucas nodded in satisfaction and launched into the game last Friday. They’d won, obviously, and the scouts had been very impressed. He also mentioned that his coach said the scouts’ talk with him was very promising. I still didn’t know if football was his future but good for him, I guessed. He said a lot of other things and I was listening. I really was, but when I heard the sound of the bike that dropped me off three days ago, it stole my attention. The loud sound of the engine cut through the noise in the parking lot and every head turned. It was hard not to. Flynn rode in like he had no care in the world and pulled over at a far corner in the parking lot. He took off his helmet and his hair was slightly disheveled. He didn’t bother to fix it. Then his eyes moved around the lot as if he could sense every eye on him. His gaze tracked every person in the vicinity until it met mine. My stomach did a little flip, my breathing suddenly becoming harsher. He looked at me for only a second, maybe even less, before his eyes fell on the boy beside me. I saw his jaw harden as he tucked his helmet under his arm, completely killed his engine, and walked into school without turning back. Was the feeling mutual? I turned back to Lucas but he hadn’t even noticed my lack of attention. “—which is why I think this year could—“ I zoned out again, but this time we resumed walking. We separated inside the building and went to our respective lockers. Haze and Anna were waiting at mine as promised, but all I could think of was the short look Flynn and I shared. We shared a look, right? Surely I wasn’t imagining it, was I?Flynn Cahallan~•~My plan to avoid Madelyn had been thrown out the window.Obviously.I couldn’t fully comprehend why she was currently sitting on my couch, looking around the living room curiously, but she’d insisted on seeing my place and I’d just run with it.The new plan had been to entertain her and see what she was up to. I didn’t expect she’d be tagging along to my house.I watched her take in the room slowly like she was trying to memorize the layout or something.Her eyes landed on the photo on the side table and stopped there. “Is this your dad?”I didn’t answer right away. The photo had been there so long that I usually didn’t even register it anymore. It was a picture of me at maybe ten years old, grinning next to him in front of an old Mustang with its hood propped open, both of us covered in the same grease stains. My mother had taken that picture, back when she and my dad were still together. “Yeah.”“You look like him.”“People say that.”She glanced at me, clearly wa
Madelyn Vance ~•~I’d been in a bad mood all day long but talking to Flynn genuinely put me at ease, which was why as soon as Mr. Reyes announced that detention was over, I didn’t hesitate to pack my stuff in my backpack and follow behind him.The hallways were quiet as we stepped out as a lot of people had gone home already.“You never answered if I could go with you to see your place.”“I did,” Flynn responded without looking at me. “I told you it’s inappropriate.”I rolled my eyes. “Since when do you care about that?” On our third meeting, he basically implied that he was going to spank me. I still hadn’t forgotten about that no matter how hard I tried to shove it down in the deepest part of my mind.He opened his mouth to speak but I held a hand out. “Hold that thought. I need to get a few books from my locker.”Surprisingly, Flynn followed me to my locker without complaint, leaned against the nearby one while I took out the books I needed, and followed suit after I resumed walki
Flynn Cahallan~•~Madelyn and I shared a few classes and since the day I gave her a ride, she always checked for me. I was used to walking in class and seeing her already seated so it was weird for her to walk in almost ten minutes to the end of the class and not even check if I was present.She didn’t even smile at the teacher like she always did. It was like she wasn’t in the mood to perform.However, by the time detention came around, she was her regular bubbly self again.“Good evening, Mr. Reyes.” She said, chirping as she practically skipped inside the classroom. “Sorry I’m late. Had to give the girls some instructions before I came.”Mr. Reyes didn’t say anything. He just nodded towards the desk.She gave him her regular smile and turned before freezing. Her face dropped for a second. Then she blinked and the smile was right back on. I wasn’t surprised when she walked over and sat beside me. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”I raised an eyebrow. It wasn’t my first detentio
Madelyn Vance~•~“Morning,” I chirped as I walked past the dining table to get to the kitchen.“Oh, good. We caught you before work. Come sit.”I paused and stared at my mother warily. My father was sitting beside her, sipping his coffee and reading the newspaper. I didn’t see them a lot because they were always busy and whenever they freed themselves up to “talk”, it was never something good.“I spoke to the admissions counselor at Hopkins yesterday,” she said, sliding a brochure across the table. “The early decision deadline is soon. I want your personal statement finalized before then.”I looked at her, then my dad who was pretending he couldn’t hear our conversation. “I already have a draft.”“I read it.” She didn’t look up from the folder she was organizing. “It needs work.”“What kind of work?”“More about pre-med specifically. Right now it reads like you could be applying anywhere.” She finally looked at me. “You need to sound like someone serious about medicine.”“I am seriou
Flynn Cahallan~•~The second I pressed send, I wanted to take it back, but it was too late and she’d already seen it. I shouldn’t have texted her. I should have just thrown away the note she left for me as planned, but I’d never been able to throw out any of her notes.I stared at the note straightened on my knee, her number written at the top with a message for me at the bottom. Her handwriting was one of the few things that had changed about her. Back then, it was almost intelligible, but it seemed like she had practiced handwriting in the past three years. Her writing was a lot more cursive and a bit more mature.My phone buzzed on the table.[Madelyn: What do you mean?]My thumbs hovered above my keyboard. This was the time for me to drop my phone and go to bed, but my fingers were already typing before I could talk myself out of it.[Me: What do you want from me?] I repeated.[Madelyn: haha, I’m not sure what that means][Madelyn (2): but I’m hoping we can be friends]“Friends.”
Madelyn Vance~•~“Why did you ask me for Flynn’s number?”“So you saw it,” I hissed at Hazel, shoving her playfully. “Why didn’t you give it then?”She smiled sheepishly. “I was busy, sorry.”“Flynn?” Anna interjected. “Flynn Cahallan? Why do we need his number?”I groaned, trying to think of a plausible excuse. I was vice president of the school committee. Wouldn’t it make sense for me to have everyone’s number? “He fixes cars, doesn’t he? I want him to take a look at mine.”“You can just go to the shop and have one of them look at it?” Hazel blinked, her sentence sounding more like a question than a statement.“We attend the same school. It’s easier this way.” I shrugged, trying to come off as nonchalant. “It’ll be better if he drives it to the shop himself. I’m quite busy these days with my college application and everything.”Hazel and Anna shared a look that I tried not to read much into before Hazel sighed. “Fine. I’m sending it to you.” She brought out her phone from her backp
Madelyn Vance~•~I was more than happy when my parents told me I couldn’t attend the after-party tonight, as that was a good enough excuse to give to my friends for skipping it.I didn’t know why my parents didn’t want me to go since they didn’t care every other night. Still, they also wanted to s
Flynn Cahallan~•~She was haunting me.That had to be it because there was no fucking way I spent two whole years at Northridge High without running into her, but for the past two weeks, I’d interacted with her almost five times.Was she trying to fuck with my head or something?I tried my best to
Flynn Cahallan~•~She was definitely messing with me.If I had known this would be the result of helping her out that night, I would have ignored her. Someone would have eventually helped her. Besides, the whole population of the school loved her.Madelyn followed behind me as I walked away. I was
Madelyn Vance~•~Flynn was an attractive guy, but that damn mouth of his. Talking to him always gave me whiplash. It was like my body couldn’t decide whether to be flustered because of attraction or embarrassment around him. I hated it.And he also didn’t know how to answer questions. It was the







