Chapter 1

My mother had just helped me into bed when Kane's mother showed up. I wasn't surprised. Ilsa had always had perfect timing – bad timing, depending on how you looked at it.

She stood in my doorway with that same expression she'd worn seven years ago. Guilt and urgency mixed together, like she was about to ask for something she had no right to ask for, but she was going to ask anyway because she had already decided that her son's future mattered more than my life.

"Selene," she said, stepping inside. Her voice was soft, almost gentle. That was how she always started. "I need a favor. A very difficult favor."

I watched her face turn red. She kept opening her mouth and closing it again, like a fish gasping for air. I didn't let her finish. I already knew why she was here.

It was the same as seven years ago.

Seven years ago, when I first got the diagnosis, she had rushed into my hospital room before the tears on my face had even dried. I was still trying to understand what silver poisoning meant – still trying to process the fact that I was dying at eighteen – when she knelt right there on the cold hospital floor.

"Selene, please. Don't drag Kane down. The Alpha King just picked him for a three-year training post in the Northern Stronghold. If he finds out you have silver poisoning, he will never go."

I remembered how her voice had cracked, how her eyes had glistened with tears. She looked so sincere. So desperate.

"You and Kane grew up together. You've been together all these years. I'm begging you – break up with him. He's going to be the pack Alpha someday, and you're dying. How can you hold him back?"

I didn't answer. I couldn't. My throat was too tight.

She took my silence as permission to continue. "I've already worked it out. I'll find a young wolf warrior – someone from a nearby pack, someone Kane doesn't know. You just have to pretend to kiss him under the old oak tree. Let Kane see. Then you pretend to cheat on him. Pretend to break up with him."

She said it like it was simple. Like breaking Kane's heart was no harder than changing clothes.

And because I was eighteen and terrified and convinced that I was already as good as dead, I said yes.

So instead of looking for a cure, instead of fighting for my life, I spent my first weeks of dying pretending to betray the only person I had ever loved. I forced him to hate me. I drove him north.

Now, seven years later, Ilsa stood in my bedroom again.

"Selene, don't blame me. I have no choice." She twisted her hands together. "Kane's new partner, Vivra – she's the Alpha King's daughter. When Kane becomes Alpha, she'll be Luna. They're perfect together in every way. I'm begging you – just let them be happy."

She paused, and her voice dropped lower. "You know how much Kane used to love you. He had you on his heart since you were both children. If he ever finds out the truth about what happened back then... I'm scared. I'm so scared of what he might do."

"So please. Just stay away from him for a while. You're dying anyway. It's not like you should be going out, right?"

The moment that word left her mouth – dying – my mother slammed the bowl she was holding onto the floor. Porcelain shattered. Water splashed across the wooden boards.

My mother's face was red. Her whole body trembled with fury. I knew she was about to explode, to say things that couldn't be taken back, to burn bridges that I wasn't ready to burn.

So I grabbed her arm and shook it gently. A small, childish gesture. Please, Mom. Not yet.

She looked down at me, and her anger crumpled into something softer, sadder. She bit her lip and stepped back.

I turned to Ilsa. My voice came out calm – calmer than I felt.

"Luna, I can promise you one thing. I won't tell Kane what happened seven years ago. But I can't promise not to see him. I can't stay away."

Ilsa's face tightened. She opened her mouth to argue, but I kept going.

"You don't understand. I've spent seven years fighting this disease. Seven years of purification rituals and sleepless nights and pain that made me want to tear my own skin off. The only thing that kept me going was the thought of seeing him again."

My voice cracked a little. I steadied it.

"So no. I won't hide in this house until I die. I'm going to see him. Every chance I get. And if that makes things difficult for you and your perfect Vivra, then I'm sorry. But I'm not sorry enough to stop."

Ilsa stared at me. Her mouth opened and closed a few times. Then she nodded stiffly, turned, and walked out.

My mother didn't say anything. She just sat on the edge of my bed and took my hand.

I leaned my head against her shoulder and closed my eyes.

The truth was, I hadn't been entirely honest with Ilsa. Yes, I wanted to see Kane. But not because I hoped to win him back. I knew that was impossible. He had a new mate now. A child on the way. A whole life that didn't include me.

I just wanted to be near him a few more times before I died. That was all.

Was that really too much to ask?