The Space Between Us

*CHRIS*

I could sense that Jamira was aware of something amiss even before I spoke. Our relationship has been strained ever since I lost my brother a few months ago, and dealing with his absence hasn’t been easy for me. When he was alive, we would often hang out and smoke together. Now that he’s gone, I’ve been smoking more as if to compensate for his absence.

I was deeply affected, and it was evident. I changed my behavior. I became quiet and distant, trying to avoid destroying the fragile foundation of our relationship that was already broken. The air between us had been tense and fragile for months, on the verge of snapping.

I tried to get back on track, but my efforts were futile.

That night, I tracked her location and discovered that she had gone to Club Rouse. It was a popular spot, so I knew she was likely having fun. I didn’t mind that she needed that distraction.

Her words echoed in my mind. If it truly mattered, you would have planned something for us. I couldn’t deny the truth in her statement. Although it did matter, I still didn’t bother to plan anything for her, especially for her birthday. How pathetic was I? Had I been so consumed by grief that I hadn’t even realized I was neglecting the woman I loved?

I tried to break free from the constant darkness of depression that had been haunting me since the loss.

When she said those words, I felt defeated. Instead of responding with empathy and understanding, I reacted with anger.

After watching her leave, I sat and watched her location while I smoked, lost in my thoughts as usual.

Suddenly, my phone lit up with a message. Then another. Then a video. Then two more screenshots and another message. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. The messages were from Keema. Of course, they were. What could she possibly want? I became aggravated and exhaled out of frustration.

But what I saw made my heart sink. It was a picture of Mira with some guy. Then another picture of them hugged up in a corner on a wall nearly secluded. The video was of the club and what I could make out nearly destroyed me. At first, the camera was on Keema, Ayana, and their other friend just laughing and drinking. I started to close it when the camera flipped and panned across the club and caught Jamira, my woman, leaving with the same guy she’d been with in the pictures.

Before I could react, the screenshots came in and they were of Ayana taking a picture of her and the girls still at the club. Everyone accounted for but my girl. The last message was a simple text message that read “I thought you might want to know where your girl is.”

I read the message and checked her location again. The pin moved. She was no longer at the club. That crushed me. Why? Why would she do this? I let the tears I’d been holding back fall. She’d betrayed me. I never second-guessed her. I guess she wasn’t as solid as I thought. Once I got back to myself, I’d planned to marry her for goodness’ sake.

She was supposed to be going to have fun. THAT’S IT! She was out with another man while I’m here, across the city, in the home we share, staring at the messages in my phone.

I had typed out three different messages and deleted them all. That didn’t feel right. So I called, and when she didn’t pick up, I called again. Still no answer.

My hurt quickly turned to anger, and I threw my phone, causing the screen to crack.