My Girlfriend's Dad Lives in Fairyland

I stood there holding the gift boxes. My fingers were so stiff that they were on the verge of cramping.

I awkwardly glanced at my girlfriend, Alicia Bennett.

She looked just as embarrassed. Leaning in closer, she whispered, "My dad's a total homebody and has been incredibly sheltered. He's a bit of a crybaby, but please don't be mad. I promise he isn't trying to target you."

I forced a smile, though inwardly, I was screaming.

A bit of a crybaby?

Incredibly sheltered?

My future mother-in-law, Hannah Porter, was clearly used to this. She got up from the couch, took her husband Mike Bennett's hands, and patted his back to soothe him. "Don't cry, Prince Mike. It's his first time here. Let's not scare him off."

Mike peeked out from her embrace to size me up. The look he gave me was exactly like a kid judging a new tutor.

"Just call him Mike," Hannah reminded me.

After taking a deep breath, I set the gifts on the table and forced myself to speak. "Hi, Mike. Nice to meet you. These are just a little something for you."

That finally brought a smile to his face. Breaking away from Hannah, he shuffled over to the cabinet in his slippers and began tearing into my gifts. "What did you get? Did you get me my black truffle chocolates?"

When he opened the bag and saw the limited-edition whiskey, he pouted. "I don't drink stuff this strong."

My fake smile was about to crack.

Alicia quickly jumped in to smooth things over. "Dad, Dante got that special collector's edition just for you. He had someone bring it in from abroad."

Mike huffed, shoved the whiskey aside, and slumped back onto the couch. Clutching a throw pillow, he announced, "I'm thirsty."

Hannah immediately rushed to fetch some water. She even blew on it and checked the temperature before handing it over.

Sitting on the couch, I felt completely out of place.

We chatted for about ten minutes, but Mike kept sniffing and eyeing me suspiciously.

Alicia and Hannah handed him tissues and fed him snacks with practiced ease. Clearly, they'd done this for years.

I gave noncommittal responses while keeping a tight lid on the internal monologue that was about to boil over.

Finally, it was time for dinner.

To comfort me, Alicia picked up a rib and placed it on my plate.

A second later, Mike slammed his cutlery onto the table. "Now that you've gotten a boyfriend, you've forgotten all about me!"

His eyes instantly welled up, and his voice cracked. "You used to always give me the first rib!"

The table went dead silent for two seconds.

Hannah quickly put a rib onto his plate. "Don't cry, Prince Mike. Look, there's plenty left."

Mike sobbed even louder. "No! I want the one Alicia gives me! She doesn't love me anymore!"

It took ten minutes of Hannah's nonstop coaxing, plus three more ribs from Alicia, before he finally calmed down. He ate while glaring at me.

I sat there with my fork suspended in midair. I'd only taken one bite of the rib and couldn't decide whether to swallow or spit it out.