CHAPTER 11

The next day I had plans to spend some time with my girlfriend. I debated whether that was a good idea. On one hand, maybe she could take my mind off of things… On the other hand, I was so wracked with guilt and apprehension that I couldn’t deal with it. I told her I was feeling sick and called it off.

The rest of the weekend was a dull blur. At some point I was lying on my bed, exhausted. Heather called and said she was going to come over and check on me. Somehow I persuaded her to stay away. Clearly I was too sick; I might be contagious. Just wait a few days. My room smells like sweat and sex.

I even thought about calling in sick to work. The closer Monday came, the more I dreaded seeing Autumn. Eventually I resolved to go in; because if I didn’t show up, then she would know why. Like hell I was going to willingly let her think that she had any power over me. Even if she does.

When I went to bed Sunday night, I actually managed to convince myself to be somewhat confident. My attempts to rationalize and belittle the importance of the event were at least mildly successful. I was sure that, once back in the familiar domain of my classroom, I would be able to assert my authority over Autumn. I would tell her after class, in no uncertain terms, that I had zero interest in her. And that given the circumstances, I am willing to forget her transgression and not get her in trouble. Yeah, like I was a victim. I’d *love* to be her victim…

Monday arrived. Things were going well in the morning… Even if I was glancing at the clock every three minutes, mentally calculating the time left until Autumn’s arrival. At least I didn’t feel nervous. Not until the bell rang anyway. Then my heartbeat began to pick up and my anxiety crept around my chest. She had five minutes to get into the room. Each time the door swung open, I glanced over. Shots of relief and irritation flashed through me each time it wasn’t her.

I’m not sure exactly what I felt when she did come in. Part of me expected her to enter wearing something scandalous, something sexy and revealing. After all, that’s how I’ve been picturing her all weekend. So it was almost anti-climactic when she waltzed in wearing just jeans and a sweatshirt. Never mind the fact that a little bit of me was disappointed. Wasn’t she trying to seduce me, after all?

Not that I wanted her to be or anything…

Class proceeded at a fair routine. Autumn was almost… boring. All weekend, I had imagined her in some revealing outfit, showing off that teenage body. Sometimes she would be insinuatingly sucking on a lollipop, smiling at me, showing off her skin… But there was nothing. I’m not even sure if she really looked at me. Of course I kept stealing looks at her… But the most I got out of her was a shy smile when I caught her doodling.

As the end of the period drew near, I felt my palms getting a little sweaty. It was ridiculous. I was planning on telling Autumn to stay after the bell for a minute. Then I would put an end to whatever was happening. I don’t know if her nonchalant demeanor made me more nervous or less. Part of it made me feel stupid. Maybe I was completely overreacting. Bullshit. She kissed me for fuck’s sake. I actually felt nervous about approaching her though… Yeah, intimidated by my own teenage student. My own hot, flirty teenage student.

Ring. Class was over. All sound was drowned out by the din of a roomful of hungry students shuffling out of their seats and heading for the door. I caught Autumn’s attention to tell her to come to my desk, but she was already on her way. Gulp.

She had a paper in her hand. “I worked on my story over the weekend,” she said sweetly, stretching out to hand it to me.

“Oh, that’s good. Actually I was hoping I could speak with you a minute about it. Before you go.” I took the paper.

“Um, I guess so…” She said it like she was annoyed, but I knew there was a flirty little smile under there. Or do I just *want* there to be one…

Before I could respond, two of my other students approached my desk, waving their papers. It was some of my college-bound overachievers. Shit. I knew I would never hear the end of their bitching sycophancy. They immediately piped up, saying they wanted to talk about their submissions as well.

Autumn rolled her eyes and looked expectantly at me. She knows. There was no way I could talk to her about… it… in front of any other students. And the others weren’t going to leave anytime soon. I tried to tell them that I would talk to them after I looked over their own comments, but no, they had to speak with me now.

Autumn interrupted, “It’s okay, I’ll go. We can talk about it later if you want. You should probably read my new stuff first anyway…”

I couldn’t find the wherewithal to argue with her. She left the classroom. I watched her go. I hadn’t noticed before, but her jeans were pretty tight after all. Such a nice ass… For a brief moment I forgot that there were other students there, looking at me. Looking at me looking at her. I felt my face start to grow hot as I turned to face them. Fearing they knew my thoughts, I blurted, “You know, you are capable of waiting your turn, instead of running your peers off.”