登入Zach's POV
I was just about to let something cruel slip out from my mouth, something sharp and loud enough to wipe that damn smirk off Ryder’s face, but Ellis grabbed my arm and pulled me aside.
“Not worth it,” he muttered under his breath, steering me through the crowd like I was a balloon about to pop.
We ended up in one of the spare bedrooms. Ellis tossed me a shirt from his bag, a simple black tee, soft and freshly folded. Probably something he packed for later, but he offered it without hesitation.
“Change into this,” he said, already turning to leave.
I nodded stiffly and waited until the door clicked shut behind him. My hands were shaking. I peeled off my wet shirt and slammed it on the floor, biting the inside of my cheek until I tasted blood. I hated this, like really...hated this.
The way my chest tightened. The way my skin buzzed like it was trying to break away from my bones. I tugged Ellis’s shirt over my head. My fingers were curling into fists before I even realized it.
I stared at the mirror. I didn’t see myself, I saw Ryder. Ryder standing there like he hadn’t wrecked everything. Like he didn’t hold the match that burned my entire life down in high school.
That day.... I still remember the silence. The hallway that felt like it stretched forever. The whispers that broke me endlessly.
Private messages. Things I wasn’t ready to say out loud yet. Things that felt fragile, like glass, stuff I thought was safe. Then one morning, boom. Everyone knew. Everyone was laughing. Avoiding me. Pitying me. Staring like I was some exotic animal behind a glass cage.
And Ryder? Ryder had my phone that week in the gym. He said he was checking a music app. He handed it back like nothing happened. Then days later, everything unfolded.
Coincidence? Hell no.
He watched it all unfold. The way my friends dropped me for being gay. The stupid rumors that I was shagging male teachers to maintain my grades. The graffiti on my locker. And he smiled. He looked at me with that same smirk he wore tonight, like I was some pathetic joke only he could enjoy.
I clenched my jaw, dragging in a breath through my nose before pushing the door open and walking back into the party.
Screw Ryder. Screw what he did. I wasn’t that scared, confused kid anymore. If he thought he could walk around like none of it mattered, he was wrong.
I grabbed a drink from the table. Then another. I was getting a little tipsy. But I didn't give two fucks.
_____
“Zach!” Ellis found me again, flashing a smile like nothing had happened. “Feeling better?”
“Not really,” I said, sipping. “But I am dressed. So that’s something.”
He eyed the shirt. “It suits you.”
“Shut up.”
We laughed, but it was hollow. My eyes found Ryder across the room almost immediately. Of course he was still here. Still loud, surrounded by people who didn’t know, or didn’t care about what he was capable of.
A girl hung on his arm. One of the jocks clapped his back. He laughed like a king, like he hadn't ruined someone's life and then moved on.
And I kept sipping from the cup, slowly getting more and more intoxicated by the alcohol.
“Can we talk about how Ryder Summers is still walking around like he’s God’s gift to this campus?” I said too loudly.
Ellis tensed beside me. “Zach....”
“No, seriously,” I continued, stepping forward, raising my voice without even trying. “He is a manipulative prick. Thinks because he is hot and rich and has a jawline, no one remembers how toxic he was in high school.”
A few heads turned.
I didn’t stop.
“Guy literally ruined people. But now he gets girls and parties and praise. What a joke.”
Laughter near the couch stopped. I met Ryder’s eyes across the room. He was no longer smiling.
“Are you done?” he asked, stepping forward slowly.
“Not even close.”
His jaw twitched. “Careful, Zach. That mouth is going to write a check you won't be able to cash.”
“I’m not scared of you,” I shot back.
That wasn’t true. I was scared. I was shaking. But I was also angry. And tipsy. And sick of being the quiet one.
“Good,” Ryder said, stepping even closer. “Then let’s go.”
We were face-to-face. Breath to breath. Heat and hatred radiating between us.
A hand grabbed my shoulder. Ellis, again, trying to hold me back. But I wasn't going to listen. I was going to give Ryder a piece of all those things he had been giving me then.
He stood inches from me now, jaw locked, his knuckles clenching like he’d already punched the air between us. His presence always had this way of suffocating me, like I was constantly inhaling smoke and trying to pretend it was oxygen.
“Still crying over high school?” he scoffed. “Grow up, Zach. People change.”
I let out a mocking laugh. “People don’t change. They just learn how to lie better.”
The tension was thick enough to choke on. Everyone had gone quiet. Curious eyes followed the tension between us, some probably hoping for a show.
“You think you’re a victim?” Ryder scoffed. “You’re not. You were just too weak to handle the truth being out there. I did you a favor.”
A favor.
He said that with a straight face.
“You humiliated me,” I said, my voice louder than I meant. “You stole my phone, shared my messages. You knew what that would do. You knew I wasn’t ready to be out, to be humiliated. You made sure they saw me as a joke.”
“You were a joke,” Ryder snapped. “Acting like you had this big, important secret. Please. Everyone knew. I just said it out loud.”
My blood was roaring now. I stepped closer, chest brushing his. “You didn’t just say it. You weaponized it. You used me like a punching bag, because deep down, you're just a miserable, insecure bastard who couldn’t stand the thought of me being happy with something you’d never understand.”
“Oh, please,” he barked. “You think I wanted to be you?”
“I think you were obsessed with making sure I hated myself.”
His hand twitched, like he wanted to shove me or hit me.
That did it. My hand pushed against my chest, hard. Not enough to send him flying, but enough to make it clear that I wanted a fight.
A group of hands grabbed us before things got worse. Ellis was shouting my name, someone else had Ryder’s arm, and suddenly we were being dragged apart like two wild animals caught in a cage match.
“You two are done,” someone yelled, maybe the main host. “Out. Now. Get the hell out.”
We were pushed toward the door, still glaring at each other like the fight hadn’t even started yet.
Zach’s POVThe hallway felt too narrow, the party music a distant, mocking thump. I had tried to run away again while we were outside, the alcohol in my veins replaced with pure adrenaline.But Damien was faster than I expected, and his hand clamped around my wrist before I could get anywhere, yanking all the way back to his apartment, with his car still parked in the middle of the street.Now we were in his house once again and the loving mask was gone. Completely.“Zach,” he said, voice low and calm in a way that chilled me more than shouting would have. “I’m sorry you had to see that, but it’s time we were honest with each other.”I tried to pull free, heart slamming against my ribs. “Let go. What the hell is wrong with you? What kind of freak watches a person for months just for a date?”Damien’s grip tightened, not painful but inescapable. His eyes gleamed with something possessive and cold. “Don’t flatter yourself, you were never the prize, just a pawn in a very very long game.”
Zach's PovThe bass from the speakers pulsed through the walls of Damien’s off-campus house before I even stepped inside.It was a small party but quite lively, string lights draped across the living room filled with people I’d seen around campus but never met.It was a mix of finance majors and friends of Damien’s laughing over drinks. A banner reading “congrats on your project, Zachy!” hung crookedly above the kitchen island.Damien had been so sweet to throw me a party to celebrate the end of the long grind and take my mind off the stress that had riddled me for weeks.And even after all this time, I still needed the distraction, from my thoughts about Ryder, and a couple of drinks, some laughs, normal college stuff, and whatever else the night held should do the trick.Damien spotted me immediately, his face lighting up as he crossed the room. “You made it!”“How could I not?” I struggled to contain my smile as he pulled me into a quick hug, arms lingering around me. “Come on, eve
Zach’s POVI erased Ryder from my daily life with surgical precision. No more routes that passed his usual hangouts. No checking the group chats where his name might appear.One day he finally texted me;Ryder: Just making sure you’re okay. Let me know if you need anything.I read it twice, thumb hovering, then deleted it without reply. Distance was the only way forward. The dinner disaster still hurt no matter what way I looked at it.Clinging to whatever complicated thing existed between us would lead nowhere.And even though I knew that he wasn’t the one for me, I leaned harder into Damien for normalcy.He made it easy. Thoughtful texts checking on my day, surprise coffee deliveries to my dorm when I mentioned a tough morning, planned outings that felt light and uncomplicated.One afternoon he took me to a quiet bookstore café off-campus, picking out books he thought I’d like based on our talks.“Figured you could use something different from your spreadsheets,” he said with that w
Zach’s POVPreparation for the date felt like walking through emotional quicksand. I stood in front of my closet the next evening, staring at shirts like they held answers.The black button-down reminded me of the one I’d worn during a late session at Ryder’s, when his hand had claimed my back while we reviewed slides. Guilt twisted sharp in my gut.I chose a simpler gray sweater instead.The internal conflict peaked as I checked my reflection. Part of me ached at the clean break with Ryder.I thought about the way his eyes had screamed so much want during that hallway encounter, and the years of complicated history that somehow still felt magnetic.But Gigi was right. Staying would mean more secrets, more family pressure, more silence when his voice mattered.Not Damien though. There was no drama with him, no inevitable chaotic ending.I met him at a quiet Italian place off-campus. Damien looked sharp in a crisp shirt, smiling as he pulled out my chair. “You look great, I’m really gl
Zach’s POVThe apartment smelled like stale coffee and the faint citrus of Ryder’s body wash. Late evening light filtered through the half-drawn blinds as we hunched over our laptops on the coffee table, the final project push demanding every ounce of focus. For the first time in days, the rhythm between us felt almost easy again, and familiar.Comfortable, even.We traded sections seamlessly, his strategic instincts sharpening my detailed slides, my precision cleaning up his broader strokes. No deep talks, or lingering stares. Just work.“You’re right about the transition here,” Ryder said, leaning closer to point at my screen. Our shoulders brushed but I didn’t flinch. “Makes the recommendation flow better.”“Yeah,” I muttered, adjusting the bullet point. “Looks solid.”It was dangerous, how natural it felt. The kiss and confession still hovered like smoke in the room, but we danced around it, letting the deadline be our excuse.I was grateful for the distraction. Gigi’s advice echo
Zach’s POVThe campus paths were painted gold by the late afternoon sun, leaves rustling softly in the breeze as students hurried between classes. I walked beside Gigi, the familiar rhythm of her steps a comfort after days of feeling unmoored.The air smelled like fresh-cut grass and distant rain, like a forerunner for the storm that was my mind. Gigi had made things simpler for me during our last conversation, if I was going to settle it would be wiser to be with Damien.But I learned that the matters of the heart are not so simple because even after all her logic, I still found it hard to let go of the idea of Ryder. I really wished he didn’t have to be such a complicated character.Gigi looped her arm through mine, pulling me toward the longer scenic route around the quad.“What’s on your mind?” she asked, her warm voice bringing me back to reality. I shook my head quickly. “Nothing, just school stuff.”“Yeah, right.” She rolled her eyes and I managed a chuckle. “What?”“I know you’
Ryder’s POVSteam lifted the sweet smell of hot chocolate into my nostrils as I walked out of the kitchen, cup held a safe distance from my shirt as the heat contrasted with the cold patch of drying tears that stuck the fabric to my skin.Carefully, I walked up the stairs to my room and pushed the
Zach’s POVThere were two cars parked outside Ryder’s off-campus apartment by the time I got there for our next session. One I recognized as the red Cardillac he drives to school, but the second black SUV I had never seen before.Ordinarily I would have dismissed it as a gift, it wouldn’t be beyond
Zach’s POVBrittany walked up to where the three of us stood then stopped. Her eyes fell on Ryder and I could see her visibly debating on how to react with him there. Suddenly, she rushed animatedly to his side, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from me and I noticed his expression shift to o
Zach’s POVThis can not be a good look for either of us. Pair after pair of eyes turn to us, each one widening with the same mix of surprise and utter confusion as they part way for the both of us to pass.Ryder’s thick fingers are lodged around my wrist like that's what they were made for, his gr







