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Saints Don't Moan
Saints Don't Moan
Author: Bubblegum

Chapter 1

Author: Bubblegum
last update publish date: 2026-05-21 17:21:50

•Penelope•

“I said no glue near your mouth, Noah.”

I pulled the bottle gently from his hands before he could make a second attempt. The boys at Saint Jude’s Orphanage had a creative streak, which was a polite way of saying they spent most mornings testing how close they could get to trouble before someone stepped in.

Noah pouted. “It smells good.”

“I promise it doesn’t taste the same.”

His friend giggled behind him, chewing on the edge of a crayon with the confidence of someone who had gotten away with it before. I let that one slide. Pick your battles.

The classroom was warm, a little stuffy despite the cracked window above the bookshelf. Dust clung to the sunlight like it was afraid of falling.

My sleeves were rolled up just enough to keep the cuffs from soaking in juice stains.

Most of the younger children had already abandoned their coloring in favor of building towers with hymn books and the odd, uneven wooden blocks Sister Mary had insisted weren’t a choking hazard.

One of the girls tugged my skirt lightly. “Sister Penny, can I use the gold glitter?”

“You know the rule. If you use glitter, you clean it up.”

“I will. Promise.”

“That’s what you said last time but the hallway sparkled for three days.”

She gave me a sheepish grin and scampered off toward the supply cart. I made a mental note to supervise the cleanup this time. The Mother Superior already suspected I was too soft with them.

And she wasn’t wrong. I liked them this way—loud, messy, honest. It was easier than the silence in the chapel or the tight-lipped niceties in the convent halls.

Here, no one cared if I didn’t have the right answer to why God let parents die or why some people never got adopted. They didn’t want answers.

They wanted someone who wanted to listen,stability and freedom

And I could do that.

“Do nuns ever get married?” one of the boys asked out of nowhere, breaking my train of thought.

I turned to see Eli watching me curiously, his fingers still curled around the red marker he’d been using to draw a fire-breathing angel. His tone was innocent, but the question made my spine stiffen.

“No. We devote ourselves to God.”

“But what if you fall in love?”

There it was. Children had a way of cutting through everything with a knife made of sugar and blunt curiosity.

I gave him the kind of smile that nuns are taught—warm, neutral, evasive. “Then we pray a little harder.”

He squinted at me. “That sounds boring.”

“Sometimes boring is good.”

He snorted and went back to drawing flames. Across the room, Sister Agnes poked her head in, gave me a look that said I was ten minutes behind schedule, and vanished just as fast. I clapped my hands to signal cleanup. Groans echoed, but the kids knew the drill.

As I moved between desks, collecting stray markers and separating glue lids from their bottles, I felt the weight of that question still sitting in my chest.

What if you fall in love?

I didn’t let myself answer, I wasn't a nun yet, and I could easily back out from this path whenever I choose to.

"What are you doing here, Penelope?" Matilda sneered at me, the distaste of my presence evident on her face.

"Mother Superior asked me to handle the donation sorting, auction items and sponsorship." I walked off without waiting for a reply.

I might have a really sad past but that doesn't give them the right to treat me so poorly.

As I began the sorting of the donation in the reception of the orphanage, I could hear distant chatter and laughter from outside.

Some women walked in to see the children and donate some items, their eyes wandered to a piece of painting selected for the auction party after the main donation.

A crowd formed over a sleek black car, few sisters and a lot of women. I didn't think people turned up this much for the donations.

A tall, silver-haired man made his way through the crowd and towards my table. His beautiful hazel eyes and manly features made me dumb struck. Now I get why the women flock around him.

"Forgive me, Lord." I whispered a prayer to myself.

His eyes were glued on me as he spoke with Mother Superior, laughing like they've known each other for years.

"Penelope dear, please come here." Mother waved toward me.

I quietly walked towards her, my heart beating faster than it'd ever beat before.

"Penelope, Meet Miguel he is a dedicated donator to our parish and this Orphanage." Mother smiled.

"Thank you, Mr. Miguel." Why hadn't I seen him prior to today?

"Miguel traveled a month before you started your discernment, and from what he tells me he traveled to Turkey." I have never seen Mother be so happy in a long time.

"You love traveling right?" Before I could respond she added, "you should talk to Dr. Miguel. I'll place the medications he brought in the right order."

Wait! I can't be alone with him. I wanted to scream so loudly.

My body tense as my name escaped from his lips, it sounded like a desperate whisper. "Penelope."

"Dr. Miguel." I answered cheerfully.

"Mother mentioned that you love traveling." I couldn't tell if it was a question or statement.

"Yes, I do but I've never really traveled."

He gestured for me to continue. "Why's that?"

"I never got to, I was involved in a car accident and after my recovery I found solace in the Lord." I smiled

He didn’t look away when I smiled. If anything, his gaze sharpened like he was trying to decide what kind of woman hides behind my attire.

My skin prickled under the weight of it.

“You don’t strike me as someone who stays in one place,” he said, voice smooth and low like a secret passed in confession.

I blinked, unsure if it was a compliment, a dig, or something else entirely. “There’s peace in staying in one place.”

“There’s also stagnation,” he murmured.

I swallowed. “I prefer peace.”

He didn’t answer. Just looked at me like he didn’t believe me.

Before I could retreat, one of the sisters called for Mother Superior from down the hall. She gave Miguel a quick pat on the shoulder and excused herself, leaving me alone with him.

Great.

He turned his attention back to me fully now, and it was suddenly very hard to remember how breathing worked.

“Do you enjoy the work here?” he asked, stepping just a little too close—close enough for me to smell something expensive on his coat. Cedarwood. Amber. Temptation.

“I do,” I said, shifting my weight. “The children are honest. It's refreshing.”

“And the sisters?”

I hesitated. “They’re kind in their own way.”

A slow smile curved at the corner of his mouth. “But not to you?”

I flinched. Just slightly. But he caught it.

“They have their reasons,” I said carefully.

He stepped around the table slowly, eyes never leaving mine. “Maybe they’re just intimidated.”

My laugh was dry. “By me?”

“You carry yourself like someone who doesn’t want to be here.” He paused. “Or someone who’s trying very hard to convince herself she does.”

That stung. Mostly because it wasn’t entirely untrue.

“I don’t think you know me well enough to make that kind of judgment, Dr. Miguel.”

He tilted his head, expression unreadable. “Not yet.”

The silence between us thickened, broken only by the sound of children’s voices echoing through the hallway. I reached for the clipboard, desperate to pretend I had a reason to end the conversation.

“Well,” I said, avoiding his eyes, “thank you again for the donations. I’ll make sure everything is sorted.”

“Of course.” He stepped back, just enough for me to breathe again. “I look forward to seeing how you put it all to use.”

There was a flicker of something approval, maybe, or challenge as he turned to leave.

“And Penelope?”

I glanced up.

“That thing you said earlier about finding solace in the Lord?”

“Yes?”

He smirked. “Sometimes the things we run to are the very things we’re running from.”

Then he walked away, leaving me staring after him with my pulse pounding and my thoughts absolutely impure.

I pressed a hand over my heart like that could quiet it.

Forgive me, Lord, I thought to myself. I might have just met my hardest temptation.

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  • Saints Don't Moan   Chapter 23

    MatildaFather Jerome called him Reverend Nicholas but when I first met him, he was Mr Nick and there had been nothing revered about him. As I looked at him, a look of recognition crossed his face but he hid it well. “I'll be just a minute,” Jerome was suddenly distracted by something else and excused himself. The second Jerome was gone, Mr Nick raised an eyebrow, “a nun? really?” I bowed my head a little bit, “there is no one God cannot change.” Reverend Nicholas scoffed, then he bent his head lower bringing it close to my ear, “you don't need to pretend with me, hon. I know what you are.” “For you to know me, it means you are not so innocent either, Reverend.” He cleared his throat. “Come around to the back during the closing hymnal,” he said, “for old times sake.” My core shivered in anticipation. Mr Nick had taken my virginity. He had shown me that sex was great when I was only eighteen. And after that day in his workshop, I asked myself why I had waited so long to have

  • Saints Don't Moan   Chapter 22

    PenelopeThe wind swooshed the bottom of my tunic the second I stepped foot outside. The cold gripped me immediately, making me feel chills so deep I felt like my heart was growing cold. I sneezed, the sound drowned by the heavy rain. I had taken just a couple steps forward when it dawned on me that the umbrella I had taken out was not of much use. Instead it increased the platter of the rain atop my head. It sounded like a thousand tiny pebbles were being thrown atop my head. The strong wind was relentless also, fighting with me for control of the umbrella. It did not help that the handle had become slippery from my wet hands. As I plied forward on the gravel, the bottom of my tunic became drenched in the ankle length flood that had formed because of the rain storm. My heart raced as lightning brightened the sky momentarily followed by the deep rumble of thunder. Unease spread through me as lightning struck a pine tree a couple feet from me. Perhaps it was my imagination but a jolt

  • Saints Don't Moan   Chapter 21

    Matilda“...you must have seen sister Penelope by now, yes?” Mother Superior's voice irritated my very soul. Still, I swallowed and answered her like I really cared. “I have,” I replied, “I have returned her rosary.” “Did she ask about your cousin?” she asked me, “is she following you to…” “You're breaking Mother Agnes,” I said even though I could hear her clearly, “the service is really poor here. I will call you later.” I ended the call and with a sigh placed the phone in my pocket. Nothing was going my way here. Miguel had completely ignored me earlier, pretending like he did not know me at all. And mother superior? Why couldn't she call Penelope to confirm the details from her? Why me? “Sister Matilda?” I looked up and saw Father Jerome standing in front of me. He was also not going my way.On our way to Oakridge, I assumed I felt a vibe, a certain chemistry between us but I was wrong. He had not done anything to suggest that he was willing to break his vow of chastity an

  • Saints Don't Moan   Chapter 20

    PenelopeGod was washing away my sins. He was purging me with his rain from above, purging my impure thoughts about Miguel. I began to sob as I ran down the seemingly endless path. I was in so much distress that I could not appreciate the view of the lake as the rain covered the waters above with the one below. At the moment I was experiencing a picturesque nightmare. I tried to run faster, hoping the view of Miguel’s house would come into view but I could not see what was in front of me. The rain blinded me so all I could make out was a blurred view of the pavement in front of me. I stopped momentarily to clean my face and I saw him then—Miguel standing in the rain like a fucking greek god carved like a statue from the classical greek era. Even with my blurred vision, I could still see that he was sexy. He was so sexy that I wanted to strip off the shirt that clung to his upper body, exposing his perfect abs and toned muscles. I wanted nothing more than to gobble this man up and ye

  • Saints Don't Moan   Chapter 19

    Penelope “Great work today, sister,” Laura, the nurse Miguel had just been flirting with, said to me but my eyes were not on her, they were on Miguel’s departing figure. He looked like he was in a hurry and naturally, I assumed he had been paged for another medical emergency. “Did Dr Ramirez mention where he is going to?” I asked the nurse. A frown crossed her face but she masked it with a smile, “no. Is there a reason you ask?” No one here knew that I was living with Miguel. It would be scandalous if anyone were to find out so I waved the question off casually, “I was just wondering what time I ought to leave. I like to spend my evenings praying.” That was a good lie. The nurse’s smile widened, “of course, sister. Especially after a tragedy like today occured.” I nodded. “Yes, yes.” I looked at the nurse’s face and it looked even purer than my mind was. If only she could see the inside of my mind and realise that I was not thinking of prayer, nor were there any holy thoughts

  • Saints Don't Moan   Chapter 18

    Miguel“When you married Ramona…” I knew exactly what Damien was going to say so I cut him off before he could finish up the sentence. “Penelope is different from Ramona,” I said, “the way I feel about her is different.” “You were so sure then back too.” “I know what I'm doing, Damien,” I said to my best friend. “I just don't want to see another woman get hurt,” he said to me which brought a frown to my face. “Why do you care so much?” I asked, my arms folded across my chest, “do you like Penelope?” He scoffed, “of course not.” “Won't you invite me in?” he changed the subject quickly. “No,” I said stubbornly, “you're not meant to be here anyway.” “Hey, man! That's not fair.” I walked to the front porch of my bungalow and opened the door, entering without inviting Damien inside. It was not like he needed an invitation to enter my house anyway. Damien walked in freely like he owned the place. His first stop was to my fridge where he brought out a carton of chilled beer and op

  • Saints Don't Moan   Chapter 9

    •Penelope• Something was off. I rolled over, eyes fluttering open. Wait, why was I in a room? And on a bed? I pushed myself up, heart picking up speed. How did I even get here? I could’ve sworn I was still on the plane a few minutes ago. Then it hit me, Miguel’s lap. Oh goodness graciou

  • Saints Don't Moan   Chapter 8

    •Miguel• I knew about her flight jitters and I tried my best to keep her distracted but the second the plane jolted and she landed on my lap, I regretted distracting her in the first place. Because now her arms flew across my neck as she snuggled close to me, whispering something like a praye

  • Saints Don't Moan   Chapter 7

    •Penelope• The silence on the jet wasn't really awkward but I felt out of place in here. Miguel sat across from me, with his legs stretched out as he lazily went through a document. He hadn't said much since takeoff but he did offer me a glass of champagne and smiled when I refused it. Jerk

  • Saints Don't Moan   Chapter 6

    • Penelope • The hot California breeze hit my face as I contemplated my next move. Maybe I should’ve taken Miguel up on his offer and let him drive me back to the convent. But the last thing I needed was more whispering. Especially after the last blow-up with one of the Sisters. That woman h

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