Almost Kiss

Morning didn't break; it bled into the cave in soft, gray ribbons of light.

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‎I woke up slowly, floating in a haze of warmth and comfort. For a moment, I forgot where I was. I forgot the war, the poison, and the broken ankle. I just felt… safe.

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‎I was lying on my side, curled into a ball. But instead of a cold pillow, my cheek was pressed against warm, bare skin. My hand was resting on a chest that rose and fell in a slow, steady rhythm. My leg was tangled with a much larger, heavier leg clad in rough denim.

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‎I breathed in deep. Pine. Rain. Woodsmoke.

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‎Memory crashed into me like a wave.

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‎The storm. The cave. Kaelen.

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‎I froze, my heart giving a violent thud against my ribs.

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‎I wasn't just sleeping near the Rogue King. I was draped over him like a blanket. And his arm, his massive, heavy arm, was wrapped tight around my waist, holding me flush against him.

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‎I should have moved. I should have scrambled away and apologized.

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‎But I didn't.

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‎I lay there, paralyzed by the sheer magnetism of the bond. It hummed in my blood, a low, golden song that whispered Mine. Home. Mate. It felt so right, so inevitable, that the thought of pulling away felt physically painful.

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‎I tilted my head back slowly, looking up.

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‎Kaelen was awake.

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‎He wasn't looking at the cave entrance. He was looking at me.

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‎His gray eyes were heavy-lidded, dark with sleep and something else—something raw and hungry. He watched me with an intensity that made the air in the cave feel thin.

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‎He didn't pull away either.

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‎" The storm broke," he murmured. His voice was a low rumble, vibrating directly into my chest. It was the sound of gravel sliding down a mountain.

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‎"I know," I whispered.

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‎"We should go."

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‎"I know."

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‎Neither of us moved.

‎

‎The outside world was waiting. The war. Magnus. The poison. But in this tiny limestone pocket, suspended in the gray morning light, none of that existed.

‎

‎Kaelen’s hand on my waist tightened slightly. His thumb brushed the bare skin where my shirt had ridden up. The touch sent a jolt of electricity straight to my core, making my breath hitch.

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‎Kaelen’s eyes dropped to my lips. His pupils dilated, swallowing the gray until his eyes were almost black.

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‎"Celeste," he breathed. It sounded like a warning. Or a prayer.

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‎"Kaelen," I answered, and my voice trembled with a need I hadn't realized was there until this moment.

‎

‎Gravity shifted.

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‎I didn't decide to move. It just happened. I shifted closer, tilting my face up. Kaelen leaned down.

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‎The space between us shrank to inches. Then millimeters.

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‎I could feel his breath on my mouth, hot and scenting of peppermint. I could feel the heat radiating from his body, scorching me even through his leather jacket I was wearing.

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‎My hand moved of its own accord, sliding up his bare chest, tracing the hard line of his collarbone, until my fingers rested against the rough stubble of his jaw.

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‎He leaned into my touch. He closed his eyes for a second, letting out a ragged sigh that sounded like he was in pain.

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‎He wants this, I realized with a jolt of triumph. He wants me as much as I want him.

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‎"Celeste," he whispered again, his lips brushing against mine as he spoke.

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‎I parted my lips. My heart was hammering so hard I thought it might burst. The bond was screaming now, a deafening roar of CLAIM HIM.

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‎I closed my eyes, tilting my head to bridge the final gap.

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‎I waited for the fire. I waited for the kiss that would change everything.

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‎It didn't come.

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‎Instead, Kaelen stiffened.

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‎His body went rigid against mine, like stone.

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‎"No."

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‎The word was a harsh, strangled rasp.

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‎He pulled back. Not slowly. Violently.

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‎He scrambled backward, putting three feet of distance between us in a second. He hit the cave wall with a thud, breathing hard, looking at me with wide, panicked eyes.

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‎I lay there, bereft, my hand still reaching for him in empty air. The loss of his warmth was a physical blow. The cold rushed back in, biting and cruel.

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‎"Kaelen?" I whispered, confused. "What... what did I do?"

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‎He dragged a hand down his face, dragging his nails against his skin as if trying to wake himself up.

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‎"We can't," he choked out. He wouldn't look at me. He was staring at the ground, at the space between us. "I can't."

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‎"Why?" I sat up, pulling his jacket tighter around me, feeling small and rejected. "Because I'm Bloodmoon? Because I'm a prisoner?"

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‎"Because you belong to him!"

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‎Kaelen roared the words. He looked up, and the anguish in his eyes terrified me.

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‎"You are engaged," he spat, the words tasting like poison in his mouth. "You wear his ring. You carry his scent. You are Magnus’s intended."

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‎"I don't love him!" I cried, scrambling to my knees. "You know what he is! You know he’s a monster!"

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‎"It doesn't matter!" Kaelen slammed his fist against the cave wall. Dust rained down. "In the eyes of the law... in the eyes of honor... you are his. If I touch you... if I take you..."

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‎He looked at me, his expression twisting with self-loathing.

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‎"Then I am exactly what he says I am. A thief. A savage who steals another Alpha’s mate because he can't control his own instincts."

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‎"Honor?" I laughed, a sharp, hysterical sound. "Kaelen, he is trying to kill us! He is poisoning children! And you're worried about the sanctity of an engagement?"

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‎"It's not about him!" Kaelen shouted. "It's about me! I am not a raider, Celeste. I don't take what isn't freely given. And you..."

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‎He stopped. His voice dropped to a whisper, filled with a heartbreaking certainty.

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‎"You don't want me. You're just... lonely. You're scared. And the bond is playing tricks on your head."

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‎"It's not a trick," I said, tears stinging my eyes. "I know what I feel."

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‎"Do you?" Kaelen challenged. He stood up, towering over me in the small space. He looked exhausted. Defeated. "You are a Princess of the High Court. I am a Rogue living in a scrap heap. You think this feeling survives the daylight? You think you'd still want me when you go back to your silk sheets and warm baths?"

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‎"I'm not going back!"

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‎"You will," he said, turning away.

‎"Eventually. Everyone goes back to where they belong."

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‎He grabbed his shirt from the rock and pulled it on, hiding the tattoos, hiding the scars, hiding the man I had held all night.

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‎He was armoring himself again. The Butcher was back.

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‎"Get dressed," he said coldly, staring out at the gray, dripping forest. "The storm is over. We need to get the Nightshade to Aris."

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‎"Kaelen, please—"

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‎"Now, Celeste."

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‎He climbed out of the cave without looking back, disappearing over the ledge.

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‎I sat there for a moment, alone in the sudden silence. I touched my lips, which still tingled from the ghost of his breath.

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‎He was wrong. It wasn't just loneliness. And it wasn't just the bond.

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‎But as I pulled on my damp clothes and prepared to follow him back to reality, I realized that convincing the Rogue King he was worthy of love was going to be harder than winning the war.

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‎He didn't just hate Magnus. He hated himself.

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‎And that was a wall I didn't know how to break.