INICIAR SESIÓNAngelica
I thought of many ways to escape this nightmare, but they all end with blood in my mouth and Nicolas’s hand around my throat. Or worse, with me standing at an altar beside a man I don’t know. Of all the times I wished I were Nadine, this is the only time I badly needed it to be true so I could escape this fate, just like she did. "...gelica? Are you with us?" A female voice from my screen pulls me out of my thoughts. I refocus on my laptop, blinking, embarrassed at being caught spacing out. "Yes, I am," I stutter, clearing my throat. My lecturer on the screen narrows her eyes, and I press my lips together, mouthing an apology even though she can't see me. She carries on with her lecture and I shove all my thoughts about my upcoming nuptials to the back of my mind. Nicolas thought it beneath him to keep me uneducated, so I attend college, but from the comfort of my bedroom. And in exchange for my tuition fees, I'm not allowed to fail. If I do, I get beaten and it'll be added to my bill; money I owe him for taking care of me thus far. As the lecture progresses, I fight to keep my focus trained on what is being said and away from my thoughts, right until the lecturer ends the lesson. I let out a heavy sigh, about to turn off my laptop when a text comes in through my messaging app. A small smile appears on my lips at the sender, Alex. 'Are you okay?' The text reads. 'Yeah' 'You sure? Seems like you weren't with us today.' I press my lips together, speechless. Alex is the class representative, who took it upon himself to offer me live versions of our lectures, and also tutor me. He would call me through video chat and I'd attend the lecture. He's the only friend I have, though even calling him that is a stretch seeing as he doesn’t know much about me. But he’s a nice person, always checking up on me and making sure I turn in my assignments on time. Over time I grew dependent on him. On countless occasions, I've wanted to confide in him about my troubles, but the fear of being watched by Nicolas never let me. Alex only knew I was sick and nothing else. I couldn’t tell him more. 'Cramps,’ I type. The lie sits heavy in my chest, and I want to delete it and confide in him, tell him the truth, but I hold back. Three dots appear, disappear, and appear again before the text comes. ‘You know you can tell me if something’s wrong. You don’t have to do this alone, you know.’ My fingers freeze over the keyboard as I stare at the words, because I do. I absolutely do. I turn off my laptop, and collapse on my bed, staring at the brown ceiling as my mind returns to my peculiar situation. I can’t get married to anyone Nicolas chooses, especially not now, not when I haven’t done anything on my list. It's like getting shackled with chains two times thicker than the ones I'm currently tied to. I sit up, my palms gripping my duvet. "This won't do," I vocalize, my eyes stinging with tears I don't let fall. My list will be useless if I get married, because though I don't know much about the mafia, I can tell I'll have more restrictions than I do here. If there's no way to pass over this marriage, then I won't be here to get married, no matter what it costs me. ~~~ "Your dress," Esmeralda says, handing a white shopping bag to me. I take it, biting on my lower lip in frustration before shutting the door. It's been four days since Nicolas's announcement at breakfast, and though I resolved to run away much quicker than I'm supposed to, no plans have been made. Instead, it seems with each day that passes, I'm being handed over to the D'amatos. Today, we'll be heading out for the burial ceremony of Celia D'amato, and despite my pleas not to go, the dress in the bag reminds me that it's not my decision to make. Taking the black dress out of the bag, I contemplate destroying it, just a little to make it unwearable, but I decide against it because Nicolas will get another dress for me, and I'll suffer for it. I sit in front of my vanity, grabbing my spray bottle and a hair brush. I spray my thick afro until it's damp before applying two layers of gel on it. I'm not doing any makeup because not only do I not possess the skill, I also lack the products. Styling my hair is the only 'make-up' I can afford. Almost thirty minutes later, Joey comes to get me. He offers me his arm as we walk down the stairs because the pair of heels Nicolas got me is higher than anything I've worn before. I also notice my dress is more extravagant than Nadine's. It hugs my frame perfectly, showing off just enough to be classy. "I don't believe I have to go over your behavior today," Nicolas says we get into his car, his eyes meeting mine through the rear-view mirror. I nod. "None of that stupid shit that happened last time, you hear me?" He narrows his deep brown eyes. "You can’t afford to make any mistakes,” he says quietly, and somehow, that’s worse than shouting. "Yes father," I say with yet another nod. "Yes father," Junior mimics and Nadine chuckles. I take in a deep breath, looking outside the window, at the grey sky, wondering how much longer it will take to get to the cemetery. I rub my clammy hands on my dress, ignoring Junior who keeps pinching and poking me as I can't afford to reprimand him. When our car finally comes to a stop at the cemetery, I'm the first one out and Nicolas gives me a stern look for it, before walking away to where a few people are already gathered, all dressed in black. Sarah, Nadine, Junior and I don't follow Nicolas; instead, we find a spot where we watch the entire ceremony, and at some point, Sarah walks away with Junior to a group of women, while Nadine disappears to only God knows where, leaving me standing there with no familiar face in sight. I do the only thing an ostrich would do in this situation, I bury my head in the ground, ensuring I don't make eye contact with anyone. "This is truly sad," a woman says from beside me, "I think he's cursed." "I think so too. It's only been a year since his wife and child died, and now he has to bury his mother," another lady says, piquing my attention, so I raise my head to them. Though they're dressed in black, they don't sound like members of the D'amato family. "That's rich people for you. Maybe he's involved with some dubious things," the first lady says, and pulls at a string around her neck, revealing her media tag. There's no doubt the man in question is Marciano D'amato. There's nothing I've heard about him that doesn't make my knees weaken, and further strengthen my resolve to escape this marriage. I can't possibly get married to a man like him. As if on cue, the immediate family members appear, holding on to the coffin, and right in front of them is the man I'm set to marry. He's tall, really tall, with muscle-filled arms and chest. And from where I'm standing, I can see that his face is set in a deep frown. He looks around the crowd, as if taking us into memory, or searching for something he hasn’t found yet. I notice he looks much different in the light than he did in the dark. There’s a well-groomed stubble on his face, though his scar shines through. His eyes hold way more darkness than I remember from that night, and that sends a shiver down my spine. However, just as he’s about to look away from the crowd, his eyes meet mine. It’s just for a second, but his gaze sharpens, locking onto mine like he’s placing me somewhere in his memory. Recognition flickers and disappears just as fast. My stomach drops because I know that look. He remembers me from five nights ago. He turns away, focusing on the task before him, but I can’t tear my eyes away from him, watching every movement while wondering how I’m supposed to escape this marriage to him. I watch as the D’amatos set the coffin down and step away, all except Marciano, who is staring down at it as though he's waiting for some miracle. Suddenly, he goes down on one knee, pulls out a pendant from his shirt, and whispers to it with one hand on the coffin. The entire cemetery goes quiet, watching him. He remains in that position for a while, then he stands and walks away without a word to anyone else. Marciano doesn't return for the rest of the funeral. I know this because I keep looking around, searching for him, waiting to see if his tall figure will return to watch the coffin go into the ground, or even to throw the first dirt. He doesn't. And I don't know why, but something tugs at my chest for him—sharp and unfamiliar. Maybe it’s because for a moment he didn’t look like the monster everyone described. He looked human. And that unsettles me more than any rumor did. The funeral ends and I see Nicolas and his family talking to some others as they walk. I don’t join them but I walk as fast as my shoes will let me, to catch up to them, only to get blamed for separating from the rest of the family when I did nothing of the sort. I don't argue or try to defend myself, because I know better than to challenge him. We all get into the car and as Nicolas drives, I'm so lost in thought that I don't realize he's spoken to me until Junior pokes my side. "I'm sorry," I apologize immediately, running my palms on my dress. "Ugh, she's so annoying," Nadine says under her breath, but I catch it. Though it seems as though it was intended for me to hear. "Your wedding date has been set," Nicholas announces. Everything around me dulls instantly, like the world is receding, and I choke on my breath as dread takes over my entire body. "It's in three weeks." Three weeks. Twenty-one days. That’s how long I have left to save myself or I lose everything.Angelica The sound of my heart shattering is not as loud as I always thought it would be. It’s silent, but I feel each piece falling apart as disappointment and embarrassment flood through my entire body.I’m still straddling him. My palms are on his warm chest, and I can feel his heart beneath, beating effortlessly.“Okay,” I mutter with my head hung, but it comes out as a whisper as I try to climb off his body. His fingers immediately grip my shirt tight, halting my movement. I feel the urge to lift my eyes to his face, to see the expression or emotion there. Yet I don’t, because I’m scared of what I’ll see there. It also doesn’t help that the grip only lasts three seconds before he guides me to the bed.He doesn’t look back at me when he gets up, or even when he walks away into the bathroom. While I sit on his side of the bed, staring at the closed door and wondering what went wrong. He’d been the one to kiss me, so why would he stop out of the blue? I should be angry, but as
Angelica I can’t concentrate.I’ve been going back and forth between the same two pages over the past hour now, and yet I can’t get Marciano’s angry voice out of my head. I also can’t wrap my head around why he’d been so angry.‘You’re lucky you didn’t go there to meet him, Angelica. Also very fucking lucky you didn’t try to—’He’d said. What was he going to say? That I didn’t try to do what?I close my study book, burying my head in my hands.Marciano is hard to figure out. I’ve known this, but I’ve also never been left so confused by him before.He was so angry yet he pressed into me, and held me like I belong against him.‘Don’t make me keep you locked up here again. I’m not a very patient man.’ He meant that. And that’s what scares me.Because if he decides to keep me locked up like he said, my escape from this life and this marriage might be a little more difficult.I shake my head.That can’t happen. I won’t let it. I don’t care what I have to do, but I won’t go back to living
Angelica “What’s with the bag?” It doesn’t immediately register that his hand is on my waist until I feel a tight squeeze urging me to respond.But I can’t. My heart is somewhere in my throat because I’ve suddenly forgotten how to speak.Marciano glowers at me, clenching his jaw. He’s furious. My grip around my bag hardens and I swallow.His gaze sweeps over the street before settling on me again. If it’s possible, he looks angrier. Scarier.“Why are you alone? Where’s Gypsy?”I can’t avoid pressing my lips together. Of all the things I thought would happen today, this one never crossed my mind.Why is he here? He said he’d be home late so I thought he was traveling. Why is he here of all places?He raises his second brow, waiting expectantly for an answer.My heart is pounding so loudly that my head hurts. I have to think of something quick.“I-I got lost…?” I respond, but it comes out more as a suggestion than a statement. Marciano moves back a little, though his hand still sit
Angelica I pace back and forth in the room so much the carpet should have grooves in it now.Marciano left almost forty minutes ago, but I’ve been stuck on the same thought.Weighing my options, I don’t have as many restrictions as I did before, but now there’s a higher risk of them figuring out what I’m doing.Gypsy especially.He’s indeed more protective of me than Ky is because he goes everywhere with me, but I just can’t shake the feeling that he’ll be the first to rat me out. I pause, my eyes finding Marciano’s card on the bed. “What if I tell him I’m going shopping?” I mutter. It makes sense because Marciano’s card will prove it’s totally alright, but there are barely any boutiques or shopping malls there, plus Gypsy wouldn’t let me go shopping alone.I let out a breath, already feeling defeated.“I’ll figure something out,” I say to encourage myself, but deep down I don’t think this will work. Still, I hop into the shower for a quick wash, and afterwards I get dressed in a p
Angelica I spring to my feet immediately, the chair scraping against the ground as I push it back, throwing my napkin on the chair.“Excuse me.” Without waiting for a response, I turn around, marching out of the room, even with my name echoing behind me. I don’t stop, even when I hear the sound of his chair moving backwards, and I don’t wait when I hear him clear his throat. I walk straight out, only to bump into our waiter.He steadies me with both arms on my shoulders, eyes wide as he stares down. I step away from him with a small nod.“Restroom,” I manage to force out, one hand over my mouth, the other on my stomach. The waiter points toward the restroom, his brows still furrowed in confusion, and I practically sprint there.My vision is blurry as I grip the first thing my hands find to steady myself. Only when I blink through the tears do I realize it’s the wash basin.Bile rises to my throat, and I grip the sink until my fingers ache.Then I hear it.“Angelica~” In a sing-son
Angelica As I spray a sealing spray on my face, I realize that ever since Marciano told me we’d go out for dinner tonight, I didn’t worry once about meeting a crowd. Whenever Nicolas would tell me I had to come with the rest of the family, I’d always be left feeling anxious and nauseous. And it would never go away until after the event was done and I was back home. I dreaded hearing I had to leave the house.Tonight, somehow, it doesn’t feel the same.I feel the immediate tightening of my face as the spray activates, holding my makeup still. I smile at my reflection.I’m no makeup professional, but I think I did a decent job even though one of my winged liner is flying in a higher direction than the other. As someone who hasn’t practiced in a long while due to one situation or the other, I give myself some credit.With my middle finger, I wipe the edges of my lips to ensure my lip gloss is right on track without spillage. Then I let out a breath as I take a step back to see my full
Angelica“What’s he doing here?” Marina asks from beside me, looking over her shoulder at the front doors. Then she turns to me, taking my hand in hers, and squeezing. “Angie, I didn't know he was coming. He told me he wouldn’t.” I bite the inside of my lips, different emotions flowing through me
Angelica“We’re here, Signora.”Lifting my eyes from my phone, I take in my surroundings, realizing that the car has come to a halt outside a massive building. One that can almost rival the renowned D’amato Mansion. It has a massive land surrounding it, with guards dressed in all black making their
Angelica I press my palms against a clothed, hard chest. The fabric is soft to the touch and…wet, reeking of alcohol. I immediately know who this chest belongs to—and I shouldn’t be touching it. So I take a step back, withdrawing my hand as though instead of wet, the fabric burns me. But the s
AngelicaMy lips tremble as I take in rushed breaths, trying to get as much air as I can in my tight throat.Coming here was a mistake, but it’s not like I had a choice. This was the part of the night Nicolas warned me about.“Behave yourself tonight.” His words from earlier ring in my ears. It wa







