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Chapter 4

Author: Shea
The final straw that broke me was what I saw on Benjamin's phone.

That afternoon, he'd left it on the couch while he took a shower, and the screen lit up with a group chat notification.

The group was called "Savannah's Family". It was a group of five—Dad, Mom, Benjamin, Wyatt, and Savannah.

My parents, my brother, and my boyfriend of three years had made a family group chat with someone who wasn't even related to them. And I was the only one not in it.

I couldn't stop myself from tapping into the chat. It had been created the day we moved in, and the chat history was long.

Mom had posted a photo of Savannah's room with the caption, "Savannah, you finally have your own room."

Benjamin had replied with a string of fireworks emojis. "Anyone who messes with you will have to answer to me first."

I scrolled up. Mom had sent a voice message, her tone warm and tinged with a smile.

"Wyatt, you take better care of Savannah than you do of Riley. She's had a tough life. I feel relieved knowing that you'll always be there to take care of her."

"Don't worry, Mrs. Sullivan. I'll always take care of Savannah," Wyatt had replied.

"Dude, you have my respect," Benjamin had chimed in.

Then, I saw Savannah and Wyatt's private chat, pinned by the latter right above the group messages.

"Wyatt, won't Riley be upset?" Savannah had asked.

"No, she doesn't know about this group."

"That's good. I don't want Riley to feel bad."

She'd added a happy bouncing emoji after that.

She didn't want me to feel bad, yet once she'd confirmed I didn't know, she was relieved—happy, even.

I placed the phone back on the couch. My fingers were ice-cold, as if I'd just finished reading a verdict that had nothing to do with me. The trial had long been over, yet the accused was the last to know the outcome.

Benjamin came out of the shower, his expression darkening. "Did you go through my phone?"

"Why am I not in 'Savannah's Family'?" I asked in a trembling voice.

The living room went silent in an instant.

Mom stepped out of the kitchen, Dad lowered his newspaper, and Savannah peeked halfway out of her room.

Benjamin snatched his phone back. "That's a group for us to discuss how to take care of Savannah. What does it have to do with you?"

"Wyatt is my boyfriend!" I was practically screaming. "Mom, you told him to always take care of Savannah—are you trying to give him to her too?"

Mom's face hardened. "What are you yelling about? Her father gave his life for Benjamin! As the big sister, can't you be a little more understanding?"

Wyatt had just walked in, and the first thing he did was distance himself.

"Riley, you're reading too much into this. I'm just looking out for Savannah as a friend, that's all."

"Then why did you stand me up on our anniversary to be with her? Why does she get a 120-dollar gift, while I got 2-dollar discounted candy?"

Wyatt lost his patience. "Given how upset she was that day, I couldn't very well just leave her alone. God, can you just drop it already?"

Savannah started crying. "Riley, I'm sorry. It's all my fault."

Benjamin suddenly charged up to me, jabbing his finger in my face. "Riley, are you done? Mr. Keller lost his life saving me! That means I owe Savannah for the rest of my life. If you're not willing to help me repay that debt, then you can get the hell out!"

My own brother was telling me to get out of our home, and not a single person present said a word against it.

Dad rubbed his temples and muttered, "Alright, that's enough. Everyone, calm down."

He didn't say Benjamin was wrong in the wrong, nor did he ask me to stay.

I stood in the middle of the living room like a criminal awaiting sentencing. And what was my crime? Not being selfless enough.

Without another word, I turned and walked into the storage room, locking the door behind me.

Outside the door, Mom was soothing Savannah, Benjamin was comforting her, and Wyatt was backing them up.

Order was quickly restored, as if the argument that had just happened was nothing more than an ad one could skip.

…

In the days that followed, the apartment somehow grew livelier.

Mom threw Savannah an early birthday celebration. She ordered a three-tier strawberry cake. Benjamin bought balloons and fairy lights and spent the whole evening on the living room floor blowing them up.

Wyatt came over for dinner every day. Afterward, he'd paint with Savannah on the balcony, their laughter carrying all the way down the hallway.

No one was deliberately shutting me out. It was just that in the midst of all their bustling togetherness, I had never existed to begin with.

I began clearing out the storage room late at night. I stuffed textbooks, old clothes, diaries—as well as a canvas tote bag and expired biscuits Wyatt gave me—into a trash bag. Then, I snuck it into the building's dumpster.

After all this time, everything fit into a single trash bag.

I washed and folded the pink floral dress Savannah had given me and left it neatly outside her door.

On August 14th, at 4:00 am, before the sky had even begun to lighten, I rolled up my yoga mat and leaned it against the wall. Then, I put the mop bucket back where it belonged.

The storage room was spotless, as if no one had ever lived there.

All I had with me was a single backpack. Inside were a change of clothes, my ID, and the base assignment letter.

I moved quietly down the hallway.

The sweet scent of strawberry candles drifted from Savannah's room, and the sound of a fan whirred in Benjamin's. From the master bedroom came the even rumble of snoring.

Everyone was sleeping soundly. This family didn't need me.

I opened the security door and got into a taxi. Then, I took out my phone and deleted every WhatsApp contact one by one.

Once I reached the base, I would need to hand in my phone.

I'd be gone for five years, across mountains and far waters, with no need to look back.

…

At 7:30 am, Mom got up to make breakfast.

"Savannah, do you want hard-boiled eggs or sunny-side up? Benjamin, stop lazing around in bed!"

She walked over to the storage room and pushed the door open out of habit. The room was empty, except for a rolled-up yoga mat leaning against the corner.

Mom called my number, only to find my phone was switched off. She sent me a WhatsApp message, but my profile picture had gone gray.

"Edward!" Her voice cracked. "Riley's gone! So are all her things!"

Benjamin rushed out barefoot. He called over a dozen times, but every single time, all he got was that cold, automated message.

Wyatt rushed over and stood frozen at the doorway to the storage room.

Just then, Dad's phone rang.

It was an unknown number.

"Hello, am I speaking to Edward Sullivan? My name is Colton Bennett. I used to work with Liam Keller. I was going through his belongings recently and found some things from back then. There are some details about the day Benjamin fell into the river that I think you should know."

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  • Traded for Gratitude, I Chose Exile   Chapter 9

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  • Traded for Gratitude, I Chose Exile   Chapter 8

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  • Traded for Gratitude, I Chose Exile   Chapter 7

    The day I arrived at the Northwest Base, the wind and sand blowing were so fierce that I could barely keep my eyes open.A senior colleague from the research team, Eric Stark, came to pick me up. He wore a pair of black-framed glasses that had been knocked askew by the wind."You must be Riley Sullivan. Mr. Atwood talks about you all the time. He says your data modeling skills are the strongest he's ever seen in a student.""He's exaggerating." I hopped out of the vehicle with my backpack, the grit stinging my face."The conditions here aren't great. You should prepare yourself," Eric said."I'll be fine."I glanced at the cluster of short, gray buildings in the distance and the skyline where the wind never seemed to stop blowing.It was a lot bigger than the storage room. Not to mention, there were windows and the sky.That made it more than enough.I had to turn my phone in at the registration desk. Before I powered it off, I took one last look at the screen. There were no m

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  • Traded for Gratitude, I Chose Exile   Chapter 5

    When Colton Bennett arrived, he was clutching a yellowed kraft paper envelope.He sat down on the couch and glanced around at everyone in the room—Mom with her red-rimmed eyes, Dad looking utterly distraught, Benjamin standing barefoot in the hallway, and Savannah huddled in the corner, too afraid to make a sound."I've been holding this in for ten years." Colton placed the envelope on the coffee table, his rough fingers pressing down on its edge. "The day Liam died, I was down by the river too."Mom's head jerked up.Colton spoke very slowly, as if each word had to roll around in his throat several times before he could let it out."The first one to go in after Benjamin fell into the water that day wasn't Liam. It was a young man fishing by the river. I can't remember his name. By the time that young man had hauled Benjamin up onto the bank, Liam had only just reached the river's edge."The living room fell so silent one could hear the airflow from the air conditioning vent."L

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