LOGINPOV: Haley"What is this?"He doesn't wait for an answer. His voice fills the room the way his presence does.Kai gets to his feet fast, the way people do when they're startled out of sleep by the last person they want to look vulnerable in front of. A man in a suit stands in the middle of the living room staring at the two of us. I hadn't even known anyone else was inside until the sound of his voice pulled me out of sleep.Kai had been asleep in the small chair beside the couch. I'd been on the couch. Nothing happened. He'd talked to me until I stopped crying, told me there were options, that nothing was decided yet, that I wasn't as out of choices as I felt. I'd fallen asleep somewhere in the middle of it.That is what the man walked into.It doesn't matter."I called you four times last night. Four times, Kai.""I had my phone off.""I can see why." His father's eyes move to me, then back to Kai. "This is where you were. Sleeping. With a girl.""That's not—""Do you know what time
POV: Haley "You had a visitor this morning."The nurse says it while unhooking the monitor from my finger."Around six. Before the shift change. She didn't want to wake you."I sit up straighter. "Who?""She didn't leave a name." She pulls the IV line free and presses a cotton ball to the inside of my elbow. "Older woman. Dark hair. She just stood at the door for a while, then left."I don't say anything."You okay?""Fine."She writes something on her clipboard and walks out.I stare at the door she just went through.Dark hair. Stood at the door. Didn't leave a name.I know exactly one person who would do that.---Nathan arrives at nine with a change of clothes in a bag and sits on the edge of the bed while I change behind the curtain."Ready to go home?" he asks."I've been ready since yesterday.""Okay, the doctor wants to go over discharge notes first."I pull the curtain back. He looks at me, then at the bag, then back at me."You look better," he says."I look exactly the sam
POV: Haley "Charge to three hundred."The sound reaches me before the pain does. A crack, and then my body jerks off the bed like something has dragged it upward. I don't feel myself fall back down."No output. Charging to three-fifty."Voices overlap, quick and urgent. Someone counts. Someone calls out numbers I don't understand."Again."My chest refuses to do the one thing it's supposed to. Somewhere above me, a monitor draws a broken line that stutters before finally holding."We have rhythm."---Everything slows after that. Voices lose their edge, and hands stop moving so fast.Someone says, "She's stable."And then the room gets quiet enough that I can hear the rain against the window.---Nathan is already there when I surface.I don't know how long he's been sitting in the chair beside my bed, elbows on his knees, hands pressed together in front of his mouth. He's looking at the floor. He doesn't know I'm awake yet, and I don't tell him because there's something in the way h
POV: HaleyKai's mouth is on my neck, sucking at the spot just below my ear, and I arch into the mattress because here, there are no consequences. His hands are in my hair, pulling just hard enough to hurt, and the pain is perfect. I am not sick in this dream, my heart pounds from want. Not failure. I am twenty-two and alive and greedy for every second of it."Tell me," his voice, hot against my skin."Tell you what?""That you want this.""I want this."He bites my collarbone, and a current runs straight through me. His weight presses me deeper into the bed, and I cannot see the room anymore. There is only his mouth and his hands and the heat of him everywhere.Then Nathan appears at the edge of the bed. He is not angry. He is just watching. His eyes are steady and terrible.I push against Kai's chest. "Wait."Kai laughs, rough and dark, then pulls me in again. "Too late.""You chose this," he says. "You chose me."---I wake up gasping.The sheets are twisted around my legs, and my
POV: Haley"Miss Winters. Are you still there?"I'm on my couch, still in yesterday's clothes from Nathan's place, staring at a water stain I've been meaning to report to my landlord for weeks."We need you to come in for more tests.""I heard you.""Your levels are—""My levels are always something.""These are different."I sit up too fast and the room tilts. "Different how?""Your heart took too long between beats last night. We caught it on the monitor. If you'd been asleep—""I wasn't.""Haley.""I was awake. I'm telling you I was awake all through the night.""That's not the point.""Then go straight to the point."She clears her throat. "Your body is changing faster than your medication can keep up with.I walk to my window and lean on the sill, watching a woman lace her daughter's shoes below."Come in tomorrow. We'll run new tests and adjust the dosage.""I'll think about it.""Thinking isn't going to—"I hang up.---I put music on because the quiet was getting a shape to it
POV: Haley"You've been looking at that building entrance for three minutes," Avriel says. "It's a door, Haley."I force my eyes away. "I'm people watching.""You're watching for one person."She bumps my shoulder, quick and easy. She's been doing that since sophomore year, when she and Nathan were lab partners and I was just the girlfriend who showed up to study sessions with takeout."I don't know what you're talking about."She kicks a small pebble off the path. "Nathan told me about dinner.""Of course he did.""He said Kai asked about you after you left."My hands tighten on my bag strap and I try to keep my voice even. "Asked what?""Wouldn't say." She shrugs, but her eyes are curious. "Just that you seemed different than he expected. Whatever that means."Nathan jogs over from the parking lot before we make it to the science building entrance. He's wearing a new jacket, slightly too big in the shoulders, the kind he probably bought because someone told him it looked good and he







